The bitch about stupidity at work thread

[MadAsAHatter]

Starting a thread to bitch about stupid shit at work that ends up pissing you off.

I'll start.
People seem to rather work harder than smarter...

Our QA officer discovered an oversight in one of our quality tracking spreadsheets. It was calculating a pass/fail on mean value only where requirements are to calculate for mean and individual values. Not a big deal because its rare for mean values to pass, but not individual values so we weren't out of compliance anywhere. Plus you can glance at individual values and know if it passed or failed without the spreadsheet displaying pass/fail. But for ease of evaluation (and lazy people not paying attention) it's better for pass/fail to be shown on the spreadsheet.

So spreadsheets need to be updated to include this. It's not my responsibility to do it, but attempting to be helpful I made copy of the spreadsheet and a quick formula to do the calculation and display pass or fail; took me less than 2 minutes. While I was at it I also deleted password protection on that copy of the workbook; they lost the passwords over a decade ago and have to difficultly work around it so they don't have to redesign the entire thing anytime there's a needed update.

I send a screenshot of what I did just to show them it works. I noted that I didn't do any formatting, just showing that the formula worked, and offered to design a template. I don't even get a thank you for the effort or we appreciate the offer. Even though what I presented accomplishes the exact same thing only easier; just need to write the formula once then copy paste to appropriate cells, the response I get is how what I presented isn't good and long winded explanation of how they will do it. Their way requires creating a formula and rules for each cell where needed. Plus they'll still need to work around that pesky password protection.

Well... sorry I offered to help. I could have had it all updated in about 20 minutes and make easier to edit in the future. But you go ahead and take several weeks to do it your way.

 

[Ben Waylin]

You seem like the type of guy who has trouble with his TPS reports.

 

[MadAsAHatter]

You seem like the type of guy who has trouble with his TPS reports.

 

[JackBootedThug]

shit-I might be going back to work.

 

[70 Mach 1]

how about a thread on work bitches that continually disrupt the place for various dumb reasons
that most have nothing to do with work

 

[Wetordry]

Don't even know where to begin it's so pathetic.

 

[paulyc]

shit-I might be going back to work.

Turning tricks doesn’t count man whore !!!

 

[Dan Gleesak]

I just found out my new work truck came off the assembly line so I’m pretty stoked about my job right now

 

[rsm]

I usually work from home if not meeting with clients in person. Zoom meetings > being in an office.

Thankfully, I have a great team that knows what they're doing; makes my work life easy.

 

[FokenBusker]

Trying to find a dishwashing job where the owners don't fleece tips is nearly impossible here, so I'm looking to do the same work for a hotel instead. It'll give owners less opportunities to rob me if tips aren't on the table. (I don't necessarily consider the added money to be advantageous if it means working for scumbags who show up to your house on your days off and try to drag you out of bed. I'm not property.)

 

[Dan Gleesak]

Trying to find a dishwashing job where the owners don't fleece tips is nearly impossible here, so I'm looking to do the same work for a hotel instead. It'll give owners less opportunities to rob me if tips aren't on the table. (I don't necessarily consider the added money to be advantageous if it means working for scumbags who show up to your house on your days off and try to drag you out of bed. I'm not property.)

Hotel gigs can be pretty good. Many are under hospitality unions so the treatment is often better

 

[FokenBusker]

Hotel gigs can be pretty good. Many are under hospitality unions so the treatment is often better

Any job that doesn't involve dealing with either customers or a private business owner is an absolute blessing IMO. Unionization, however, I'm iffy on, as I've been fleeced to shit in prior union jobs. Hopefully whatever union I would be working as a bargaining unit member within, in such an industry, won't scoop up 1/3 of my cheque for insurance I don't have a use for.

(My last union job was $20/hour which sounds great on paper until you factor in that a: 1/3 of my gross pay goes to income tax, which is the standard in Canada when you earn below a certain level annually, but b: another 1/3 of my gross went to a group insurance plan with no sliding scale, meaning I was paying the same premium as somebody collecting over 4 times my annual salary, which to them is nothing, but to me means I'm making less than MINIMUM WAGE on my fucking NET pay.)

 

[psychodave]

I could write a book about the stupidity I see at work. From the top to the bottom...

 

[DrewJD82]

Hahahahha I could use a place to rant that’s not tied directly to my real name….

I run a large commercial campus, over a million sq ft with just over 500,000sq ft of rentable space. I’m the Chief Engineer, so everything from maintenance to construction is my department. I’ve got a staff of 5 guys, 4 are outstanding….one, our most recent hire, is not. This guy has made me reconsider everything I’ve ever said about what people are capable of, how we’re all capable of doing great things with the right mindset, all that lofty positivity…..dude is destroying it for me.

One of our tenants is child protective services, where they take the kids after removing them from abusive situations. Obviously, this suite needs to be VERY secure, as some people freak out and try to go after the CPS officers when their kids are taken away from them. We have a special gate for them to enter just for this.

A couple months back they requested we re-key some of their doors. I spend 3 weeks getting the new key schedule down as each door is getting 1-3 keys with a detail of who gets what key after. I put sticky notes on each door with the key codes, walk this guy to each door to ensure he knows what doors are getting re-keyed so he can escort the locksmith. I tell him repeatedly “ONLY do these doors and ONLY do what is written on the sticky notes. This is EXTREMELY important. You need to view this as life or death because that IS the stakes we’re playing with in this suite”

Dude calls me 45 minutes later “Yeah, I uh, so I had to the locksmith do these other doors….”

”WHAT?!?! WHY?!?!?! I told you to ONLY do the ones I showed you!”

”It makes it easier for me”

I blew a fucking gasket.

”We’re not in the business of making things easy for us. We’re in the business of taking care of our tenant’s needs and ensuring their safety and security 100% of the time”

We end up having a disciplinary meeting over it because the guy refuses to accept the fact he fucked up in a big way, arguing with me why it’s better for him to have easy access to change fucking lightbulbs instead of CPS having a 100% secured suite.

The next day I tell him to change an emergency exit light in the hallway by their suite. Tell him to locate the breaker, shut the breaker off, then change the light because it’s fucking 277v and he’s not smart in the head. 10 minutes later I get a call “Uh, I don’t know what happened but all the lights in the hall just went dark and this exit sign just shot sparks out”



I tell him, “First off, you are not to touch electricity again. I need you to repeat back me that you understand you are NOT to touch anything electrical until further notice. You could have shocked yourself, you left wires hanging down that can touch a tenant’s head, you didn’t follow protocol or instructions. Repeat back to me what I just told you, all of it”

He’s an excuses guy, so a stream of “Uh I didn’t think, uh um, I didn’t mean to, no one told me” bullshit came out of him until I finally get him to repeat what I told him.

I go to find the tripped breaker and when I walk back out I see all of CPS’s doors propped open and he’s walking up the hall with a big smile on his face. “I figured they need to see in the hallways so the light from inside their suite will help”

I thought he was fucking with me. I honestly thought he was just doing a “Ha ha, get it, cuz yesterday you almost fired me for not following instructions and leaving a very important suite unsecured” but nope, the motherfucker was serious and he was proud he found a solution to the problem he created.

I know the first thing asked is “Why does he still have a job?” and that’s a logical question. My company is very much “Leave no man behind”, we will try to develop someone so they leave our company and move onto bigger and better things before we’ll fire someone. It’s a pain in my fucking ass sometimes, but it’s also why I truly love the company I work for. That said, we’re past the point of development and I’ve now started the termination process. This guy is supposed to grease me wheels so I can focus on big picture stuff but his constant fuckery has slowed me down considerably and I can’t risk the safety of our tenants or his co-workers. There’s no getting through to him.

I’ve got a bunch of stories about him. He tried to gaslight me one day after I caught him watching Netflix in an empty suite while it wasn’t break time. He came back to my office 30 minutes later and said “I have to say, I think it was out of line for you to reprimand me for not doing my job. I work hard and do my work orders really fast“

I just stared at him. I couldn’t believe I had someone actually telling me I was out of line for telling them to work while they were fucking off. And here’s the real kicker, because I bet most people who read this far assume this guy is a millennial or GenZ…..he’s fucking 58 YEARS OLD!

 

[Dave M]

You seem like the type of guy who has trouble with his TPS reports.

View attachment 264351

 

[Stripped Rights]

TDS reports!?

 

[thegame]

Don't get me started on my days as a trainer for the special Olympics weightlifting division. Everywhere you looked, nothing but dumbbells.

 

[paulyc]

Hahahahha I could use a place to rant that’s not tied directly to my real name….

I run a large commercial campus, over a million sq ft with just over 500,000sq ft of rentable space. I’m the Chief Engineer, so everything from maintenance to construction is my department. I’ve got a staff of 5 guys, 4 are outstanding….one, our most recent hire, is not. This guy has made me reconsider everything I’ve ever said about what people are capable of, how we’re all capable of doing great things with the right mindset, all that lofty positivity…..dude is destroying it for me.

One of our tenants is child protective services, where they take the kids after removing them from abusive situations. Obviously, this suite needs to be VERY secure, as some people freak out and try to go after the CPS officers when their kids are taken away from them. We have a special gate for them to enter just for this.

A couple months back they requested we re-key some of their doors. I spend 3 weeks getting the new key schedule down as each door is getting 1-3 keys with a detail of who gets what key after. I put sticky notes on each door with the key codes, walk this guy to each door to ensure he knows what doors are getting re-keyed so he can escort the locksmith. I tell him repeatedly “ONLY do these doors and ONLY do what is written on the sticky notes. This is EXTREMELY important. You need to view this as life or death because that IS the stakes we’re playing with in this suite”

Dude calls me 45 minutes later “Yeah, I uh, so I had to the locksmith do these other doors….”

”WHAT?!?! WHY?!?!?! I told you to ONLY do the ones I showed you!”

”It makes it easier for me”

I blew a fucking gasket.

”We’re not in the business of making things easy for us. We’re in the business of taking care of our tenant’s needs and ensuring their safety and security 100% of the time”

We end up having a disciplinary meeting over it because the guy refuses to accept the fact he fucked up in a big way, arguing with me why it’s better for him to have easy access to change fucking lightbulbs instead of CPS having a 100% secured suite.

The next day I tell him to change an emergency exit light in the hallway by their suite. Tell him to locate the breaker, shut the breaker off, then change the light because it’s fucking 277v and he’s not smart in the head. 10 minutes later I get a call “Uh, I don’t know what happened but all the lights in the hall just went dark and this exit sign just shot sparks out”



I tell him, “First off, you are not to touch electricity again. I need you to repeat back me that you understand you are NOT to touch anything electrical until further notice. You could have shocked yourself, you left wires hanging down that can touch a tenant’s head, you didn’t follow protocol or instructions. Repeat back to me what I just told you, all of it”

He’s an excuses guy, so a stream of “Uh I didn’t think, uh um, I didn’t mean to, no one told me” bullshit came out of him until I finally get him to repeat what I told him.

I go to find the tripped breaker and when I walk back out I see all of CPS’s doors propped open and he’s walking up the hall with a big smile on his face. “I figured they need to see in the hallways so the light from inside their suite will help”

I thought he was fucking with me. I honestly thought he was just doing a “Ha ha, get it, cuz yesterday you almost fired me for not following instructions and leaving a very important suite unsecured” but nope, the motherfucker was serious and he was proud he found a solution to the problem he created.

I know the first thing asked is “Why does he still have a job?” and that’s a logical question. My company is very much “Leave no man behind”, we will try to develop someone so they leave our company and move onto bigger and better things before we’ll fire someone. It’s a pain in my fucking ass sometimes, but it’s also why I truly love the company I work for. That said, we’re past the point of development and I’ve now started the termination process. This guy is supposed to grease me wheels so I can focus on big picture stuff but his constant fuckery has slowed me down considerably and I can’t risk the safety of our tenants or his co-workers. There’s no getting through to him.

I’ve got a bunch of stories about him. He tried to gaslight me one day after I caught him watching Netflix in an empty suite while it wasn’t break time. He came back to my office 30 minutes later and said “I have to say, I think it was out of line for you to reprimand me for not doing my job. I work hard and do my work orders really fast“

I just stared at him. I couldn’t believe I had someone actually telling me I was out of line for telling them to work while they were fucking off. And here’s the real kicker, because I bet most people who read this far assume this guy is a millennial or GenZ…..he’s fucking 58 YEARS OLD!

Holy shit. You should start a thread about this guy ! That was seriously entertaining. Like JBT’s Tales From The Big House thread. I’d read em all… guy must carry his balls around in a wheelbarrow. What a maroon.

 

[DrewJD82]

Holy shit. You should start a thread about this guy ! That was seriously entertaining. Like JBT’s Tales From The Big House thread. I’d read em all… guy must carry his balls around in a wheelbarrow. What a maroon.

He's currently shitting his pants. We had some elevator deficiencies our vendor needed to resolve for us to pass our city elevator certifications. Everything got done but to be sure we weren't wasting money on another inspection, I wrote a work order for him and one other guy to split up the 11 elevators and ensure every machine room is spotless. Very specifically wrote "no items are to be placed, stored, sitting or resting on the floor. If it is not attached to a wall, get it out"

He knows better than to call me when I'm in meetings or with inspectors, but he calls me right away, I snap at him and tell him to send me a text because at this point, I know he's the one who fucked up. "I checked all the buildings and got busy I must have missed that one I'm sorry"

Excuses. I assign his work, I know exactly how busy he is. I also assigned this to 2 guys to ensure each guy could take their time and make sure it was all done right. After the inspection I ask them both, separately, why one guy did all the room checks. Awesome employee tells me by the time he went to do it, dumbass already closed the work order out and said it was done then reassured him he went to every elevator. Dumbass tells me "Awesome guy was too busy so I had to pick up the slack"

I let about 30 minutes go by and see him walking across the property, walk up to him and say "Man, I've tried to make this job as easy as possible for you. I've been pointing you in the right direction and you just can't seem to follow it. We just failed that re-inspection, not only did we waste $3K getting that inspector back out, but the city will now shut down that elevator because you, again, could not follow basic instructions. Not only that, you took it upon yourself to delegate the work to yourself and put our tenant's workflow on the line. Enjoy this weekend because come Monday the shit is rolling downhill and after it rolls over me it's going to be rolling over you"

And when he tried the excuses again I just walked away.

If I felt this guy needed this job to survive, I probably wouldn't take this approach. He's already told me he's just paying rent until his wife's mother passes and they get her house in Puerto Rico. His wife is a receptionist for one of our tenants, I know the kind of money they're making, see the vehicle he drives and how he spends his money....dude ain't hurting. Really gives some perspective on those who need to work for a living and those who have had shit handed to them for way too fucking long.

 

[FokenBusker]

Hahahahha I could use a place to rant that’s not tied directly to my real name….

I run a large commercial campus, over a million sq ft with just over 500,000sq ft of rentable space. I’m the Chief Engineer, so everything from maintenance to construction is my department. I’ve got a staff of 5 guys, 4 are outstanding….one, our most recent hire, is not. This guy has made me reconsider everything I’ve ever said about what people are capable of, how we’re all capable of doing great things with the right mindset, all that lofty positivity…..dude is destroying it for me.

One of our tenants is child protective services, where they take the kids after removing them from abusive situations. Obviously, this suite needs to be VERY secure, as some people freak out and try to go after the CPS officers when their kids are taken away from them. We have a special gate for them to enter just for this.

A couple months back they requested we re-key some of their doors. I spend 3 weeks getting the new key schedule down as each door is getting 1-3 keys with a detail of who gets what key after. I put sticky notes on each door with the key codes, walk this guy to each door to ensure he knows what doors are getting re-keyed so he can escort the locksmith. I tell him repeatedly “ONLY do these doors and ONLY do what is written on the sticky notes. This is EXTREMELY important. You need to view this as life or death because that IS the stakes we’re playing with in this suite”

Dude calls me 45 minutes later “Yeah, I uh, so I had to the locksmith do these other doors….”

”WHAT?!?! WHY?!?!?! I told you to ONLY do the ones I showed you!”

”It makes it easier for me”

I blew a fucking gasket.

”We’re not in the business of making things easy for us. We’re in the business of taking care of our tenant’s needs and ensuring their safety and security 100% of the time”

We end up having a disciplinary meeting over it because the guy refuses to accept the fact he fucked up in a big way, arguing with me why it’s better for him to have easy access to change fucking lightbulbs instead of CPS having a 100% secured suite.

The next day I tell him to change an emergency exit light in the hallway by their suite. Tell him to locate the breaker, shut the breaker off, then change the light because it’s fucking 277v and he’s not smart in the head. 10 minutes later I get a call “Uh, I don’t know what happened but all the lights in the hall just went dark and this exit sign just shot sparks out”



I tell him, “First off, you are not to touch electricity again. I need you to repeat back me that you understand you are NOT to touch anything electrical until further notice. You could have shocked yourself, you left wires hanging down that can touch a tenant’s head, you didn’t follow protocol or instructions. Repeat back to me what I just told you, all of it”

He’s an excuses guy, so a stream of “Uh I didn’t think, uh um, I didn’t mean to, no one told me” bullshit came out of him until I finally get him to repeat what I told him.

I go to find the tripped breaker and when I walk back out I see all of CPS’s doors propped open and he’s walking up the hall with a big smile on his face. “I figured they need to see in the hallways so the light from inside their suite will help”

I thought he was fucking with me. I honestly thought he was just doing a “Ha ha, get it, cuz yesterday you almost fired me for not following instructions and leaving a very important suite unsecured” but nope, the motherfucker was serious and he was proud he found a solution to the problem he created.

I know the first thing asked is “Why does he still have a job?” and that’s a logical question. My company is very much “Leave no man behind”, we will try to develop someone so they leave our company and move onto bigger and better things before we’ll fire someone. It’s a pain in my fucking ass sometimes, but it’s also why I truly love the company I work for. That said, we’re past the point of development and I’ve now started the termination process. This guy is supposed to grease me wheels so I can focus on big picture stuff but his constant fuckery has slowed me down considerably and I can’t risk the safety of our tenants or his co-workers. There’s no getting through to him.

I’ve got a bunch of stories about him. He tried to gaslight me one day after I caught him watching Netflix in an empty suite while it wasn’t break time. He came back to my office 30 minutes later and said “I have to say, I think it was out of line for you to reprimand me for not doing my job. I work hard and do my work orders really fast“

I just stared at him. I couldn’t believe I had someone actually telling me I was out of line for telling them to work while they were fucking off. And here’s the real kicker, because I bet most people who read this far assume this guy is a millennial or GenZ…..he’s fucking 58 YEARS OLD!

Kill him.