Random sentiments and stories

[Smash]

I once shaved my uncle's head and took him to a strip club.

I ofcourse told the strippers that he had cancer. Watching them rub their tits on his bald head was rewarding

 

[Monkey Man]

That's random alright.

 

[Smash]

That's random alright.

I have a lot of stories of horrible shit i did to that guy. They may all come out if this thread lasts long enough.

 

[311boogieman]

5" Yamamoto Green Pumpkin flake Texas rig on 4.0 offset hook, preferably red.

 

[Floyd Eye]

I can stick a dime in my nose, tilt my head back and spit it out of my mouth.

 

[Ben Waylin]

One time, in Turkey, I visited Gobekli Tepe and saw the ancient pillars and inscriptions. I needed to pee real bad, and the porta johns were like really far away, so I let loose behind one of the monuments.

A Turkish guard saw me, and he started yelling in Turkish and running at me.

I hauled ass outta there, but I wrote a song about it.

 

[Kordoba]

I once tripped over a squirrel and bruised a few ribs.

 

[Geo]

If your left arm gets cut off, is your right arm left?

 

[70 Mach 1]

French girls give the best foreplay
Spanish girls give the best climax

 

[japetus]

I had dinner with and spent the night with one of the biggest female pop music stars in the world in 2011.

 

[Ben Waylin]

I was dating a girl for about 3 months back in the 90's, and one day she goes, "You never smile. Why ?"

And I go, "You said you wanted a serious relationship."


Anyways, I wrote this song about her..

 

[Kordoba]

I once bought a coffee mug from Chris Holmes of WASP. Mug not delivered and no responce, so I did a paypal chargeback.

 

[Ben Waylin]

I once bought a coffee mug from Chris Holmes of WASP. Mug not delivered and no responce, so I did a paypal chargeback.

He was prolly in teh pool.

?

 

[JackBootedThug]

Wife had the litter box in the bathroom so I would scoop it whenever I was in there. Finally she said something was wrong with the cat…it wasn’t using the litter box. We had a Great Dane at the time and I got a scoop of his wolf bait and put in the litter box and forgot about it. Sometime that night my wife started screaming. I actually forgot about doing that and I thought it was something wrong…. I took a good cussing over that one. Worth it tho….

 

[Floyd Eye]

I had dinner with and spent the night with one of the biggest female pop music stars in the world in 2011.

Which one ?

 

[Smash]

Wife had the litter box in the bathroom so I would scoop it whenever I was in there. Finally she said something was wrong with the cat…it wasn’t using the litter box. We had a Great Dane at the time and I got a scoop of his wolf bait and put in the litter box and forgot about it. Sometime that night my wife started screaming. I actually forgot about doing that and I thought it was something wrong…. I took a good cussing over that one. Worth it tho….

My stepdad took a shit in the litterbox to fuck with my mom. She was livid. But later i asked him about it, he said several of the kittens were furiously trying to cover the goddamn thing up..?

 

[Smash]

I remember when i was 9 or so, I pretty much grew up in my Dad's tattoo shop. Mom worked there too.
It was all bikers and military. Blues and rock blaring, cigarette smoke in the air, the coolest place ever..

There was a hotel next door that had extended stay, and had some people that just lived there. One such man was always at the tattoo studio hanging out.

One night, i sat on the bench out front next to him. He was looking into the distance.

I asked him, "what are you looking at, sir?"

He just pointed.

I squinted in that direction, "The Whataburger?"

"To some," he said "to others, the fourth dimension"

It was the last time I ever saw him

 

[voodooradio1]

I worked for a huge construction company when I was 19-20 as an iron worker building a huge refinery for Exxon. Total work force was around 1500-2000 folk during the day. I started a rumor that everyone was supposed to line up at the tool room/building before Thanksgiving, present their brass for a free ham and Turkey. Mind you this job site was 100 miles out in the middle of nothing and the company bussed most everyone to and from the job site from the towns that they lived in, and there was a huge man camp on site where many lived. It wasn’t like there was extra room to pack that shit home. I mentioned it to two people and it spread like wild fire. Even those that were skeptical left their work areas when they saw the massive line forming. I had a good laugh about that, but never admitted it.
Also watched David Lee Roth buy a dime bag on the Laguna beach board walk, and once made a nice fried chicken dinner for Radar of MASH fame.

 

[311boogieman]

My stepdad took a shit in the litterbox to fuck with my mom. She was livid. But later i asked him about it, he said several of the kittens were furiously trying to cover the goddamn thing up..?

My wife, luckily, takes care of the litter box (2 cats). She went out of town years ago and asked me to handle it. I go in a few days later to knock it out. There are these massive chunks of litter. Like the size of my computer mouse. I called her and asked her if it hurts the cat to poop out something so large.

It was the clumping kind so mostly soaked up pee. I can't believe I just typed all of that

 

[Kordoba]

Back in the early 90s I barfed on the hood of a yellow VW bug. Had a packet of smokes in my shirt pocket, and the smokes landed in the barf.