Chuck Norris jokes

[JohnnyGtar]

There are no jokes about Chuck Norris. It's all true.

Chuck Norris plays the violin with a piano.

 

[Nigel]

Once a company tried to market Chuck Norris toilet paper.

The launch failed because it wouldn’t take shit off anyone.

 

[Stripped Rights]

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.

 

[Stripped Rights]

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

 

[Stripped Rights]

Chuck Norris can get in a bucket and lift it up with himself in it.

 

[Stripped Rights]

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

 

[Stripped Rights]

Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch. He determines time.

 

[Stripped Rights]

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

 

[Stripped Rights]

The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

 

[Stripped Rights]

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet!

 

[JohnnyGtar]

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

 

[MadAsAHatter]

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the crap out of it.

Chuck Norris didn't call the wrong number, you answered the wrong phone.

 

[MadAsAHatter]

Do you know why there are so many Chuck Norris jokes but not many Bruce Lee ones?

Because Bruce Lee is no joke.

 

[InfiniteLoop97]

Chuck Norris doesn't turn the lights on; he turns the dark off.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on. He turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your life with his words – but mostly, he just kicks doors down.

 

[Cordoba]

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, now they're just called the islands.

 

[JohnnyGtar]