As a seller, I don't mind eating PayPal fees if I know the buyer and/or buyer has a solid long-standing reputation on the forums.
As a seller, if I don't know the buyer, and they have little to no references or e-cred as it were, then I will only accept PayPal gift. Don't want to do gift? Come back when you have some references and have proved to the community you're not a scumbag.
As a buyer, I don't mind doing gift if I absolutely know and can trust the seller. SteveK, Gsxrbusa, MailmanDan, etc. etc. Guys like that, I'll PayPal gift any day of the week.
As a buyer, if I don't know the seller, I will gladly add the 3% to gain the protection I need/want. I've learned that lesson the hard way. There are too many assholes looking to take advantage of people these days not to protect myself when it comes to an unknown seller.
If anyone objects to the above approach, I'd rather not do business with them.
All that said, I mainly use Reverb these days. It's the only place I move gear on a consistent basis. I've had nothing but great experiences via Reverb to date.