Since President elect Trump won in a landslide:
I'm sleeping better.
I made the best pot of chili I ever made before.
I had a bad roll of duct tape that wasn't very sticky, but now it is sticky like it should be.
My car is getting an extra 4 miles per gallon
I'm playing guitar better that I ever have, it's amazing!
My bad neighbor's tractor blew up.
I rarely hit a red light anymore

My favorite icecream went on sale.
My finances have tripled and then tripled again... all my banks are calling me because they are out of storage room again.
I bought some rust olem gold spray paint to huff, but instead it sprays out REAL 24 caret gold!!! WoW!
We were playing a game of Jarts throwing them over the house and one hit the back yard and struck oil!!
There is more, but you get the idea