Anybody else have any transgender kids?

[billsbigego]

Here's my long winded sob story. Just was looking at the "as clown world turns" thread and saw a picture of a girl with a beard. I want to fucking puke.

Nothing worse than a woman with a beard. And my transgender son (boy in a girls body) wants to start taking T @ age 16
Got all the guessers (doctors) involved and get the usual "of course it's fine, there are no long term physiolocal adverse repercussions for a 16 year old to take Testosterone therapy."

So I respond with. "So the human body is trying to do one thing, and you're going to give a 16 year old Testosterone therapy to make his body do something it was not designed to do." Just blank stares in response.

Sounds like a recipe of disaster.

But I'm outnumbered by the experts and my wife (who is an RN - loves anything big pharma produces) and my kid (16 year old expert on everything.)
Kid already tried to off himself a few years back before he or (she at the time) came out.

I know this has all been discussed before on here. Just wondering how others deal with this shit. I've said what I have to. I operate in the realm of logic.
Kid takes ADHD medicine because he doesn't do enough in life to occupy his mind. School is crippling for him. He's not the type to sit in a chair for 6 hours and listen to a school teacher mumble. He retains nothing, because it's uninteresting AF. Same as I was.

According to modern logic, the kid is Transgender. Can't just be gay. Nope, Transgender. My opinion of course. They have highly educated Harvard Grads figuring out the terminology for this and how to worm their agenda into the school curicullum in order to brainwash everything.

Kid is on Anti-depressent medicaiton. Instead of all the therapists, doctors and my wife and him listening to what I have to say. The fact is, 99% of the reason the kid is depressed is because of his sexual situation (figuring himself out) and only working 3 hours a week pushing shopping carts at the supermarket, and having way way too much free time on his hands. Then coming home, drinking a monster energy drink full of sugar, staying up till 2am and waking up at 6 and going to school. The sugar has nothing to do with the depression, or the 5 recees peanut butter cups he ate right before bed, washing it down with monster energy drinks.

I feel partly responsible because of my piss poor attitude about life. But I don't take meds and will not. I don't think I'm overly depressed, I've had deep dark clinical depression and now I exercise and take supplements and consume less sugar. I'm out of the hole. The only thing that drags me down is lack of sun in New England for 6 months out of the year and the fact that I'm a working slave. I try my best to help the kid with the depression, but I feel defeated that big pharma has won out.

I can't say much or be too harsh as the kid is very mentally fragile. I'm complety supportive regarding him figuring out his sexuality. I allow him to wear the shit he wears (think punk rocker) and bring him to get some piercings (to express his individuality) but it's the drug thing that scares the shit out of me. I don't know what else I can do. I mean I didn't listen to my parents either as a teen. But these drugs can potentially have a life long impact.

Anyhow, this is why I like to get myself paralyzed on Saturdays when I pound beers and listen to thrash metal to forget about life for 5-6 hours. LOL.

Look forward to taking the kid to some heavy metal shows this summer. Went to Anthrax last year and found a band on a side stage called Municipal Waste and with me and the kid moshing, it was the most fun I've had in a long time.

 

[acceptance]

Wow dude, that sounds tough. 16 is getting towards adulthood and him/her being able to make their own decisions and figure stuff out anyways. I think the most you can do at this point is suggest waiting until they are older before the continue on a path that they will likely later regret. I'd be pissed at my wife who should know better, but sounds like they drank the pharma koolaid. Most Docs are probably useless here too, as they are owned by big pharma and indoctrinated in wokeism. But there are doctors and psychologists that would challenge the treatment. You could consider legal action but that would lead to all kinds of strife if your wife and kid are all in and you will just create a chasm and risk divorce and estrangement. So just love your kid as it sounds like you're doing and enjoy your relationship as much as you can regardless I'd say. Continue with your support but don't deny your honest views of it either. Maybe they end up being totally at peace and happy with it and that's just how it is, and if so, great. My only concern would be their health and happiness.

 

[JackBootedThug]

fuck bro. man I'm sorry. It's mental bro.....pure and simple. If you and your wife are not on the same page then your fighting a losing battle. I would say get the kid in therapy but what's the point? Church? that's the key imo..... Or if she wants to be a man then treat her like a fucking man....My sons are men and my daughter is a female. Same way with these furry fucks. You want to be a cat then go sleep in the barn or go shit in the fuckin weeds. Hungry? Go catch something to eat. Hell I don't know....

 

[acceptance]

Gender discontent is just a phase for most kids, a new study shows

https://www.rt.com/news/595657-lgbtq-gender-confused-kids

I would also suggest a support group if there is such a thing.

 

[rsm]

Sorry to hear this.

Maybe you can convince your child that it's better to wait until at least 18 if not 21 before deciding, give the body and mind time to mature before interrupting the body's cycle.

I mean she can't get a tattoo, drink alcohol, own a firearm, enlist in the military, send nudes, have sex with 18+ partners, etc. legally. 16 is still a minor in most states.

The good news is your daughter is confiding in you.

Research the outcomes of these treatments, and many people end up regretting these decisions, and suing because they were minors; some day she may want children, and there could be complications because of this.

The bigger concern are the surgeries that are basically permanent, have many complications, sterility, etc.

I recommend you research as much as you can; then write a list of your concerns; be open, honest, loving, caring, concerned, non-judgmental, and have a family discussion. Also, be prepared for their objections, emotional responses, and other talking points and call out that the long term effects are not well known, etc. Remain calm, cool, collected resist getting defensive or going on the offense.

I hope it works out for you and your daughter.

 

[Aynirar27]

my only advice would be to take away your bias towards "big pharma" to help you look at it more objectively. Personally, I think 16 is too young for any kind of treatment. Therapy or support groups would be more beneficial at this stage IMO.

But again, while I'm not crazy about medications, they aren't the only evil in the world, they just happen to be one that you are sensitive to. For perspective, the alcohol industry has ruined way more lives than pharmaceuticals, yet you openly get plastered every weekend. I'm not saying that as a judgement towards you, just that your negative views towards some treatments (meds) are the same as other people's views on things you are ok with (alcohol).

There is no simple answer, but objectivity is always best for complicated scenarios

 

[rsm]

Another approach I use with my kid was about getting older and maturing...for example when he was 10 years old, I'd ask him, "hey, what's it like to be 15 years old?" Obviously he wouldn't know, so I said, well I know because I've been 15 years old. Or, I'd say remember when you were 5 years old and this was your favorite toy/game etc.? he'd say yes, and I'd say do you want to play the game or with the toy, and he'd look at me like I was crazy...

TL;DR, my point was to show him that as he gets older he will see things differently, and what's important at 10 years old isn't that important at 12, 15, etc.

 

[Floyd Eye]

I would do everything in my power to keep them from poisoning your kid with that shit.

 

[rsm]

my only advice would be to take away your bias towards "big pharma" to help you look at it more objectively. Personally, I think 16 is too young for any kind of treatment. Therapy or support groups would be more beneficial at this stage IMO.

But again, while I'm not crazy about medications, they aren't the only evil in the world, they just happen to be one that you are sensitive to. For perspective, the alcohol industry has ruined way more lives than pharmaceuticals, yet you openly get plastered every weekend. I'm not saying that as a judgement towards you, just that your negative views towards some treatments (meds) are the same as other people's views on things you are ok with (alcohol).

There is no simple answer, but objectivity is always best for complicated scenarios

My concern is many in the medical and therapy fields can make money off of these kids; much of the discussion seems to encourage kids towards making a change, it's not well balanced and is rife with many agendas that don't always have the kid's best interest as the priority. They also attempt to separate the child from the parents, and even make the parents concerns seem hostile or controlling, and have concerted efforts to reduce or eliminate parental controls.

I'm no expert, and maybe it's the minority of cases that seem greater in number due to media reporting...but it is something to be aware of. IIRC, some states will take kids away from their parents if the parents don't go along with the child's decision; also many schools / councilors have policies where they don't inform parents or obtain parental consent before discussing with minors.

Again, I think many kids what have social, mental or emotional issues are targeted by non-parental adults in positions of authority and used by these adults to promote their agenda or gain credit for themselves... In most cases, parents know best, want what's best, and should have the final say - not government employees or others that can benefit from taking advantage of a confused or troubled child.

 

[watson503]

Man, this is tough when this shit hits home and if I can say anything, do not allow this child to take any exogenous testosterone as there are a host of issues taking it at that age - especially being a female (I would not allow anyone under the age of 25 even if a male to take it as the body has not fully grown during the teen and early 20 years so you run into problems with bone growth and development which exogenous testosterone inhibits at these younger ages). This right now is a huge avenue of wealth for the pharmaceutical companies so expect most doctors to go along with this shit but do not give in - serious issues physically that cannot be undone down the road will occur. I'm really sorry to hear you're dealing with this, man.

 

[Aynirar27]

My concern is many in the medical and therapy fields can make money off of these kids; much of the discussion seems to encourage kids towards making a change, it's not well balanced and is rife with many agendas that don't always have the kid's best interest as the priority. They also attempt to separate the child from the parents, and even make the parents concerns seem hostile or controlling, and have concerted efforts to reduce or eliminate parental controls.

I'm no expert, and maybe it's the minority of cases that seem greater in number due to media reporting...but it is something to be aware of. IIRC, some states will take kids away from their parents if the parents don't go along with the child's decision; also many schools / councilors have policies where they don't inform parents or obtain parental consent before discussing with minors.

Again, I think many kids what have social, mental or emotional issues are targeted by non-parental adults in positions of authority and used by these adults to promote their agenda or gain credit for themselves... In most cases, parents know best, want what's best, and should have the final say - not government employees or others that can benefit from taking advantage of a confused or troubled child.

I think a lot of that just strengthens my comparisons to alcohol. Billions have been spent to make you think drinking makes you popular, chicks will dig you and generally every gathering is better with it. It’s all a money grab.

But I like counseling/therapy as an option because unless you are seeing a psychiatrist, you aren’t going to be prescribed anything.

I know several people who have worked with transgendered kids and I don’t believe any of them has tried to sway the kid one way or the other. I’m sure it’s happened, but at the heart of it, that isn’t what it’s about.

 

[rsm]

I think a lot of that just strengthens my comparisons to alcohol. Billions have been spent to make you think drinking makes you popular, chicks will dig you and generally every gathering is better with it. It’s all a money grab.

But I like counseling/therapy as an option because unless you are seeing a psychiatrist, you aren’t going to be prescribed anything.

If know several people who have worked with transgendered kids and I don’t believe any of them has tried to sway the kid one way or the other. I’m sure it’s happened, but at the heart of it, that isn’t what it’s about.

Just saying parents have to be aware and involved; anyone who attempts to remove or eliminate parents/guardians from the discussion is suspect and not to be trusted; even worse when the laws are on their side not the parent's/guardians. Most parents and guardians want what's best for their kids and should have that power and control of their minor kids.

 

[billsbigego]

my only advice would be to take away your bias towards "big pharma" to help you look at it more objectively. Personally, I think 16 is too young for any kind of treatment. Therapy or support groups would be more beneficial at this stage IMO.

But again, while I'm not crazy about medications, they aren't the only evil in the world, they just happen to be one that you are sensitive to. For perspective, the alcohol industry has ruined way more lives than pharmaceuticals, yet you openly get plastered every weekend. I'm not saying that as a judgement towards you, just that your negative views towards some treatments (meds) are the same as other people's views on things you are ok with (alcohol).

There is no simple answer, but objectivity is always best for complicated scenarios

Yeah I've used meds to get me out of a rough spot. I'm not totally anti med. But at 16, taking stuff that is altering your hormones, when your brain is not in a good mental state to begin with to me is not good.

As for me getting drunk 1 day a week, it's not bad in my opinion. The worst that happens is I might go on one of my anti Biden rants or make everyone in my house watch a Slayer video or two. I know poeple that drink that fall down every weekend and end up in the ER. I know my limits and don't let it get to the point of adversely affecting others. I just love pounding beers and listening to metal. That's my poor ass excuse and I'm sticking to it.

 

[billsbigego]

Kid is in counseling for a few years now. They just talk, which I suppose is good, but she gives him no real world tactics to get over his fears. Primarily being misgendered. He absolutely hates having a female body. I told him, if he doesn't confront the people misgendering him, and stand up for himself "my name is Jesse now, I'm a boy and I changed my name from Alexis," he's going to encounter nothing but people that misgender him. I told him, this is his first real hurdle to get over in life.

I try to involve him in things that teach self sufficiency. Anything that needs to be fixed or assembled, "grab the tools man..., you're gonna fix it."

But it's weird, looking at old pictures of this pretty blond haired, blue eyed baby girl, and now I got a punk rocker boy, LOL. But it's cool that he got off Taylor Swift and is listening to Blink 182, Misfits and a lot of the stuff I listened and still listen to. He's got 4 guitars and an Alien bass that I fixed up for him. So in a way I guess I'm at peace with the fact that I have a son now, LOL. My wife was initially devestated. She's healing from this as well.

But at the end of the day, boy, girl, this, that, they, them..... I ask myself a simple question. Is the kid responsible for the most part? Yes. And my number one rule above all is this. Is he respectful of others, polite, compassionate and understanding of others needs? Yes, 100%
So when I get down on myself for being a shit dad, I just look at that last part and tell myself that I haven't done that bad. Luckily he's got a 26 year old older sister (my daughter from a GF from a long time ago) and they hang out and do stuff (hike and smoke weed....)
He thinks I don't know. But like I told him. I'm a dad and I'm in IT. I know everything.

 

[Aynirar27]

Yeah I've used meds to get me out of a rough spot. I'm not totally anti med. But at 16, taking stuff that is altering your hormones, when your brain is not in a good mental state to begin with to me is not good.

As for me getting drunk 1 day a week, it's not bad in my opinion. The worst that happens is I might go on one of my anti Biden rants or make everyone in my house watch a Slayer video or two. I know poeple that drink that fall down every weekend and end up in the ER. I know my limits and don't let it get to the point of adversely affecting others. I just love pounding beers and listening to metal. That's my poor ass excuse and I'm sticking to it.

I feel for ya man. I agree 16 is too young for treatments. I mean it's not my kid so it's easy for me to say that though. It's clear that his well being is your top concern and that's what is important. I'm just trying to help that line not be blurred by a bias you may have towards the medical field, whether it is justified or not.

 

[billsbigego]

I feel for ya man. I agree 16 is too young for treatments. I mean it's not my kid so it's easy for me to say that though. It's clear that his well being is your top concern and that's what is important. I'm just trying to help that line not be blurred by a bias you may have towards the medical field, whether it is justified or not.

I feel for ya man. I agree 16 is too young for treatments. I mean it's not my kid so it's easy for me to say that though. It's clear that his well being is your top concern and that's what is important. I'm just trying to help that line not be blurred by a bias you may have towards the medical field, whether it is justified or not.

What's up with the forum? Acting whack.

Yeah like I said, I'm just weary of the fact that this hormone therapy on teenagers is basicly an expirment for now. The data is not there. Every single drug known to man has a side effect. He doesn't take the ADHD meds any longer, thank God. At least he realized he didn't like the way they made him feel. Medicine has it's place, but not for expirementing on kids. The thing that bothers me is that everyone in that realm is not capable of individual critical thinking. They all are of the same mindset and don't really hear what I'm saying. It's like they feel the need to push their agenda, instead of doing their actual job, which is to do no harm.

And when I'm lied to by doctors that say these drugs are fine, when in fact there is no long term data, is disconcerting.

 

[acceptance]

I told him, if he doesn't confront the people misgendering him, and stand up for himself "my name is Jesse now, I'm a boy and I changed my name from Alexis," he's going to encounter nothing but people that misgender him. I told him, this is his first real hurdle to get over in life.

I understand where you're coming from but I don't think urging confrontation of those "misgendering" is a good idea.

 

[Aynirar27]

Just saying parents have to be aware and involved; anyone who attempts to remove or eliminate parents/guardians from the discussion is suspect and not to be trusted; even worse when the laws are on their side not the parent's/guardians. Most parents and guardians want what's best for their kids and should have that power and control of their minor kids.

There was an instance of that in a school not far from me. A girl was being harassed, councilors did next to nothing about it, for quite a while, and the parents didn’t hear anything about it until after they got word that their daughter killed herself in her dorm room.

Now, knowing what I know about that school, I see it as a reflection of that institution and not the medical field as a whole, but you are right it does happen. It also raises questions as to why she never said anything to her parents herself, but that’s another discussion altogether.

 

[Aynirar27]

I understand where you're coming from but I don't think urging confrontation of those "misgendering" is a good idea.

There is a difference between correcting and confronting though. It’s ok to let people know what you want to be called. After you correct the same person a few times, that’s when it’s time to confront them.

 

[acceptance]

There is a difference between correcting and confronting though. It’s ok to let people know what you want to be called. After you correct the same person a few times, that’s when it’s time to confront them.

Let's say that a peer would call them by their new name name but not acknowledge their transition or refer to them by their chosen gender. What would you suggest?