Finding family members after 40 plus years

  • Thread starter Thread starter Artjr
  • Start date Start date
I made the call. It was weird at first but turned out real nice. She was my older 1/2 sister by 20 years. My dad passed when I was 12. She was able to give me factual information about my father. Turned out Mom told me lots of wrong things. Like my Dad graduated from U of Miami, It was U of Maryland. Either way, glad I did it.
 
Artjr said:
I made the call. It was weird at first but turned out real nice. She was my older 1/2 sister by 20 years. My dad passed when I was 12. She was able to give me factual information about my father. Turned out Mom told me lots of wrong things. Like my Dad graduated from U of Miami, It was U of Maryland. Either way, glad I did it.
Click to expand...
That's great to hear man!
 
VonBonfire said:
Never mind family, I got a few friends from way back that have messaged my band page telling me "call me".

Why?

You ain't been there for 30 years, have no life, and now want to include me in your circle? You had my number, never called. I invited you over when you were gonna be in my area and you never even acknowledged my messages? I reached out a bunch of times only to get spurned but now you wanna be homies all of a sudden when it suits you? Have a great life now get lost.
Click to expand...
friends are overrated; family can be too.

I have relatives I haven't seen or talked to in decades; once the older generations passed, the connections between the branches withered.

I was amazed to learn the percentage of men raising kids that are NOT their biological kids, but they believe / think they are. Recently some pro soccer player found out his three kids are not his; his wife was doing their pastor, and they are the pastor's kids; a judge in his 70s just found out his two adult kids aren't his:





seems women have been having the attractive, fun guy's kids and marrying the "nice guy" worker bee letting him provide for the kids that are not his, and not telling him, forever; most guys never know or find out their kids they think are theirs, aren't theirs. For those who have had paternity tests, around 11% (and as high as 30%) find out their kids they think are theirs, aren't theirs. Some states are now passing laws for mandatory paternity tests at birth...and many women are against it - not surprised.
 
rsm said:
friends are overrated; family can be too.

I have relatives I haven't seen or talked to in decades; once the older generations passed, the connections between the branches withered.

I was amazed to learn the percentage of men raising kids that are NOT their biological kids, but they believe / think they are. Recently some pro soccer player found out his three kids are not his; his wife was doing their pastor, and they are the pastor's kids; a judge in his 70s just found out his two adult kids aren't his:





seems women have been having the attractive, fun guy's kids and marrying the "nice guy" worker bee letting him provide for the kids that are not his, and not telling him, forever; most guys never know or find out their kids they think are theirs, aren't theirs. For those who have had paternity tests, around 11% (and as high as 30%) find out their kids they think are theirs, aren't theirs. Some states are now passing laws for mandatory paternity tests at birth...and many women are against it - not surprised.
Click to expand...

My wife had a daughter that was 4 when I married her. I never badmouthed the sperm donor, knowing it wouldn't benefit me and knowing he would sink his own ship in due time. I always welcomed him to my house but he never came around. She's in her 20s now and watched her dad interact with another daughter and I think it hurt her. She's my kid, I love her as my own, everyone loves her even my parents. My old man even bought her a car and she bought me harley parts for father's day. Love wins!
 
VonBonfire said:
My wife had a daughter that was 4 when I married her. I never badmouthed the sperm donor, knowing it wouldn't benefit me and knowing he would sink his own ship in due time. I always welcomed him to my house but he never came around. She's in her 20s now and watched her dad interact with another daughter and I think it hurt her. She's my kid, I love her as my own, everyone loves her even my parents. My old man even bought her a car and she bought me harley parts for father's day. Love wins!
Click to expand...
Same. My daughter was 8 when I moved in with her mom. We never talked shit about the dirtbag, never refused to let him see her even though he never paid child support. In fact I remember many Friday nights the kid sitting on the front porch waiting for him and eventually coming back in the house balling her little eyes out because dickhead didn’t show. I raised the kid. I paid for all her shit. Got her a house. Did all the shit a dad does. That’s why I’m her dad and he’s her father. He’s still a dickweed.
 
Floyd Eye said:
Same. My daughter was 8 when I moved in with her mom. We never talked shit about the dirtbag, never refused to let him see her even though he never paid child support. In fact I remember many Friday nights the kid sitting on the front porch waiting for him and eventually coming back in the house balling her little eyes out because dickhead didn’t show. I raised the kid. I paid for all her shit. Got her a house. Did all the shit a dad does. That’s why I’m her dad and he’s her father. He’s still a dickweed.
Click to expand...
Good on you brother. Agreed on not down talking the guy, it'll only build resentment and make problems for the step parent, which is a tough job already.

It's all good when you're young and shirk your fatherly duties to go out and party. When you're 75 and on your death bed and no one is there for you because you weren't there for them itll sink in like a ton of bricks.

A part of me feels bad he's so short sighted and he lost all that time he could've formed strong bonds cause he was out partying instead. He did take her for an outing once. I was like great, he spends time with his daughter and me and my woman got a. night to ourselves so we went out for drinks and.....he was sa the bar drinking with his.buddy while the kid ran around the club. No xmas, no birthday. I can be pretty cruel but damn if that ain't just pure hesrtlesness. I can't imagine what kids go through that never get.a decent replacement pop. No wonder this world is so effed up, nothing but dysfunctional families..

I have no regrets about being there. She kept her last name which was her choice but my name is dad. Has a nice ring to it that I guess I esrned.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top