I was much better in my 20s and early 30s. I was playing and practicing all the time since about 13 years old to 32 years old, when I got married and stopped playing in bands, and really had no music focus, goals or purpose.
After awhile, I found it challenging to find time or interest to practice or play, and gradually both faded away. When I did play occasionally, I quickly realized that I lost a lot of my dexterity, speed and accuracy; muscle memory remained but my execution lagged significantly. This made me play even less.
When my son was born, I got into it again; after divorce, I put in money, time and effort again, things improved greatly, but arthritis was added to the mix, and I got into keyboards - other than weighted keys, which I don't like, the impact of arthritis was less than on guitar and bass.
Even today, with the money I've spent on gear over the last 10 years and the time, I'm still no where near my peak level of my late 20s / early 30s. Songs I could play effortlessly are out of reach without significant effort.
It's a humbling and disheartening experience, but I've found music areas, interests and challenges I enjoy that allow me to focus on what I can do, learn new things, and minimize what time and arthritis have diminished. Unlike the past, today I do music for my own enjoyment, not to prove anything to anyone, show what I can do, or for others.
There have been times when my son had friends / girlfriends over while I was playing, and they'd come out to listen without me knowing they were there, and compliment me - which were nice 'accidents". I did teach my son early in his guitar learning journey, and still do occasionally. But now I only make music noise when no one else is home.
I've come to an understanding with reality - and found ways to continue to enjoy making music noise without ghosts of my past.
Cheers.
