Quitting a band via text message

[mightywarlock]

one of my drummers quit via email as well last year, after laying down tracks for a new album. he was very busy at work, working on a huge movie, and was about to venture into opening his own business, so no time and such.
we all shrugged and said, ok...kinda sucky as we decided to disband after rather than replace, but still finish the album, our 3rd, after 3 years of nonstop playing and gigging.
Other's have done the akward in person thing or phone. not sure which is best?

 

[Digital Jams]

It is how kids communicate these days, to them it was the proper media to use.

 

[Shiny_Surface]

I got booted out of a band via email, no big deal.

 

[Capulin Overdrive]

i'm very happy being an old fart!

 

[sinfish]

If you weren't suck a dick to her she probably wouldn't have quit! You scared the poor thing and she probably didn't want to hear you dog on her anymore. HAHA

Seriously it sounds like a try out to me too. No emotional attachments existed so texting was OK in this situation.

 

[crankyrayhanky]

Let's shorten the text message even more; here's some candidates:

IQ: I Quit
INYIM: it's not you it's me
WOSP: working on solo project
YSAOOK: Your solos are out of key

 

[Mr. Willy]

If you weren't suck a dick to her she probably wouldn't have quit! You scared the poor thing and she probably didn't want to hear you dog on her anymore. HAHA

Seriously it sounds like a try out to me too. No emotional attachments existed so texting was OK in this situation.

Let me clear up some things. I just put this band together. It was our second practice all together. I tried my best to make sure everyone was on the same page musically and get a feel for what we all wanted out of the band before we even played a note. We all talked on the phone and emailed each other. We decided on a meeting place to discuss things and met at a restaurant, talked, decided on some songs (about 2-3) to work on, a common direction for the band and played together for the first time about 2 weeks later. The band was tight.

She can sing, I'd heard her before about 4 years ago sing an acapella piece and she really nailed it. She flaked out then about something, I can't quit remember. She even apologized for being "such a flake back then" when we spoke again. Anyway, at practice she stands off to the side, holds the mike way down, and doesn't know the lyrics. Luckily, I figured she wouldn't know them, so I brought copies for both of us. I've always ended up being the default singer in almost every band I've been in because nobody else wants to or has the balls.

We were all very encouraging to her and tried to help her as much as we could. She even thanked us for being so encouraging. We decided for the next practice not to work on anymore new songs so she would be comfortable and have time to learn the songs. This is two weeks now on the same two songs. Songs that SHE picked out. When we come together, she doesn't know them. It was very irritating, but we were all cool and supportive as much as we could be. I could tell by the look on my bassist's face that he was pretty annoyed that she hadn't learned the songs.

I called her about 3 days later to ask her how she felt about band practice, and she said it was really cold and this and that. I told her there'd be gigs that were cold and gigs that are hot, it's just something she'll have to learn to push on through with. I really was trying to encourage her, but I have little patience for someone who isn't going to carry their weight and makes excuses.

In the end, she's turned out to be a quitter and I'm glad we've found this out now before we book shows and she decides to quit then. Looks like I'm the singer again until we find another one, dang it.

I still think telling someone face-to-face or over the phone is the best way to do things. I'm old, I guess, and to me it's a matter of respect. It doesn't take 5 minutes to call someone, but it takes a lot more balls than sending a text. It's like telling the person they aren't even worth your time or energy. I'm not trying to get anyone to "see it my way" or anything, I'm just curious how everyone else viewed it.

 

[Ben Hur]

i agree with ya bro, it's a matter of respect. sad to say, not something that's taught much anymore. circumstances aside, it's probably better for you guys if she bailed if she's not motivated to carry some weight of her own. that doesn't make it right or wrong, i'm just saying. when i quit the band i started after 4 years, i got everyone together and we talked face to face. i felt like i owed them the face time and explanation of where i was at. not saying it was easy, i cried like a baby. that band meant everything to me but it was time to move on.


carry on!

 

[IHateRap]

I think it's ok. Better than being strung along with wasted practices/not showing up/being unreachable etc....

If it was a good/hard to replace musician I'd be disappointed that they were leaving...not necessarily how they made it known.

 

[chunktone]

She did you a favor. It's pretty rare to find a good female rock singer. I can count all the ones I actually like on one hand.

 

[Spaceboy]

Honestly, people these days (at least at my age) text more than they call. I wouldn't really be bothered with the medium in which they said something, as long as it they quit on respectable terms and didn't randomly stop coming to practice and ignoring phone calls or anything. I'm probably going to quit all of my bands soon, and that will most likely be handled via text message. I rarely actually talk on the phone with anybody that isn't female.

 

[crwnedblasphemy]

Texting can be kinda cowardly. Cuz I had employees text off of work.....call me damnit.

 

[chunktone]

If you have an unlimited texting deal and it didn't cost you anything, I can't see how it's a problem.

It's a question of etiquette, brother axe. It isn't whether or not it cost me anything or how many practices she had with us. I'm of the notion that it shows more backbone to do things like that in person, regardless of one practice, two, etc. Not trying to say one way is better, just curious how everyone else views the question.

That's society these days. No one returns phone calls, pretty much no one answers calls.

People answer calls, just not your calls.

 

[billboogie]