Significant other limiting your purchases?

[goldtele]

I have been truly blessed to have a wife that is as much of a gear nut as me. Our first Christmas together she bought me a Custom shop ES-335 and a ES-355. We weren't even married. I knew right then and there that I has met the perfect woman. She is always doing lots of gear research and making sure I get what I need. She know these are my tools to do my job and that's how I make our living so she is 100% supportive of me getting what I want.
She is the best

 

[thiswaythatway]

imo having a girlfriend/wife "telling" you what you can or can't do with your money is no-no.

if you're a responsible guy and your family ain't lacking anything, and you're buying gear with your "fun money" no one should have a saying on it.

just my opinion.

HAHA, just wait till you get married.

 

[glpg80]

My wife gets a little upset every now and then, but it's always after the fact. As long as I pay my bills and I don't leave her hanging if she wants something, we're square.

mojo sent

 

[Joeytpg]

imo having a girlfriend/wife "telling" you what you can or can't do with your money is no-no.

if you're a responsible guy and your family ain't lacking anything, and you're buying gear with your "fun money" no one should have a saying on it.

just my opinion.

HAHA, just wait till you get married.

 

[stratotone]

I lost a ton of gear in my first divorce (had to sell to pay bills she left me with) and made a deal with my current wife that whatever I make from my full time job goes for household. But what I make gigging, swapping gear, etc - is mine to spend as I want. We also have the understanding that if something horrible financially happens like the long term loss of a job, emergency, etc - that gear can be sold, but I get to choose what gets whacked. Worked for 10 years now with no problems.

Pete

 

[Shawn Lutz]

I don't know dude your girlfriend shouldn't be making rules for you to live by. As long as you are a responsible with with your finances, bills are paid and you save who cares what you do? Tell her you new hobby is titty bars and drinking and in willing to bet she won't make any rules for you

Your # 1 rule should be your girlfriend or wife don't make your rules

 

[Spaceboy]

haha it's one of those "I'm going to pretend like I'm kiddin' but you better listen anyway" kinda rules

i just thought it was funny

 

[Wizard of Ozz]

I really don't get some of these guys that need approval to buy gear... be it from a wife, long time girlfriend, or life-partner... if they are making their own money to pay for it. Now, if your wife, long time girlfriend, or life-partner is the majority earner and/or paying-for-it-all, well that's a different story.

I'm not married, and I can absolutely guarantee it will be no different if/when I do, but if I see something I want... I buy it. Simple. I don't need permission, approval, etc. It's my money, I can afford, so WTF? My house is paid for, my cars are paid for, I've got a nice retirement fund set aside, IRA, and a pension plan. Basically, my finances are in order and if I'm bringing in the majority of the money to any relationship, I'm going to be the one deciding whether or not to buy a guitar or amp I like. I mean its music gear people! Come the f-on. We aren't talking about buying a house or car here. See the difference?

 

[killertone]

So glad I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff. My wife could care less what I buy. She signed on for this shit a long time ago.

The thing about it is that I will never buy anything that I can't pay cash for. No CC's unless I pay the balance that month. I think that is the only responsible thing to do anyway.

 

[racerevlon]

Yeah--I haven't put any gear on credit in as long as I can remember--cash is king. No permission needed.

 

[Ventura]

Eh, we keep all our money separate aside from shared funds for neccessities, and it's amazing how well it works. We'll both make suggestions to each other, but there's none of this "no you can't buy that" nonsense.

Oddly enough, this is how my wife and I work things out... I'm the sole income earner for this family - my wife has access via bank card, cheques, and CC to our finances. No problem. I have $1000's worth of gear come and go, she never raises an eyebrow - ever. So long as this familial machine is welll greased and the kids are sorted and clothing and food and vehicles and discretionary spending and vacations and all that shit is solid, there's no reason for her to even question what my fanatical musical pursuits are - as she says - do whatever you want Baby, you don't drink, you don't gamble, you don't hang out watching strippers and football - enjoy whatever the hell makes ya happy. And I do just that

Mojo

 

[Ventura]

So glad I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff. My wife could care less what I buy. She signed on for this shit a long time ago.

The thing about it is that I will never buy anything that I can't pay cash for. No CC's unless I pay the balance that month. I think that is the only responsible thing to do anyway.

And lemme tell ya, the financial industry just hates you for this

Mojo

 

[nevusofota]

I feel very fortunate after reading this thread. If I'm on the fence about buying gear the wife is usually the one to rationalize why I SHOULD buy it. She always replies, "...besides, your the one that works hard and brings in the money". I found the right one (wife that is).

Now in your case, you need to find her a hobby. Once she starts getting into something and begins buying stuff it'll make things much easier for you.

 

[nevusofota]

So glad I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff. My wife could care less what I buy. She signed on for this shit a long time ago.

The thing about it is that I will never buy anything that I can't pay cash for. No CC's unless I pay the balance that month. I think that is the only responsible thing to do anyway.

I don't understand why people use cash for anything nowadays (as long as you can pay it off at the end of the month).
Reasons:
1) Builds credit score
2) Get cash back (or reward points). Last year I got over $600 back from one card.
3) Makes it easier to budget and see where your money is going (for me anyway).

However, as stated previously, YOU MUST PAY IT OFF MONTHLY to avoid finance charges.

 

[Stramm8]

I don't think I would be taking that sort of thing from a girlfriend...When I was dating my future wife I told her I buy and sell gear so don't freak out if I come home with a $3k Les Paul. We've been married for 6 years and she's never questioned a gear purchase. I on the other hand have changed my buying/selling habits since the situation is different and will give her a heads up on any major buy. All she wants to know is how much am I buying it for and how much will I make when I sell it That said she still wouldn't care. There have been plenty of times I've sold gear to buy something we needed or she really wanted. No big deal; just save some more cash, flip some things and you're back in business...

 

[Stramm8]

So glad I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff. My wife could care less what I buy. She signed on for this shit a long time ago.

The thing about it is that I will never buy anything that I can't pay cash for. No CC's unless I pay the balance that month. I think that is the only responsible thing to do anyway.

I don't understand why people use cash for anything nowadays (as long as you can pay it off at the end of the month).
Reasons:
1) Builds credit score
2) Get cash back (or reward points). Last year I got over $600 back from one card.
3) Makes it easier to budget and see where your money is going (for me anyway).

However, as stated previously, YOU MUST PAY IT OFF MONTHLY to avoid finance charges.

If you have the discipline and can afford it, then it probably is the way to go. The problem is too many people justify making purchases they can't afford and get into trouble...And that is the kind of trouble you never want to find yourself in. Cash is king for me

 

[Shawn Lutz]

I really don't get some of these guys that need approval to buy gear... be it from a wife, long time girlfriend, or life-partner... if they are making their own money to pay for it. Now, if your wife, long time girlfriend, or life-partner is the majority earner and/or paying-for-it-all, well that's a different story.

I'm not married, and I can absolutely guarantee it will be no different if/when I do, but if I see something I want... I buy it. Simple. I don't need permission, approval, etc. It's my money, I can afford, so WTF? My house is paid for, my cars are paid for, I've got a nice retirement fund set aside, IRA, and a pension plan. Basically, my finances are in order and if I'm bringing in the majority of the money to any relationship, I'm going to be the one deciding whether or not to buy a guitar or amp I like. I mean its music gear people! Come the f-on. We aren't talking about buying a house or car here. See the difference?

Exactly how I feel too. I think is so childish for guys who buy gear and have to sneak it by the wife. It's not high school hiding a bag of weed from your mom lol. Btw I'm married and been together since 87. My wife has never said one thing about my gear purchases other than that is cool looking

Men need to grow a pair. Shit like that McDonalds commercial where it's gonna rain so he can't paint the garage and she say I guess we'll have to go shopping for window shit. Fuck that, bitch you're in your own or the commercial where the dude is at dinner with the wife while watching the game on his mobile device. Fuck that, if I want to watch the game I'll watch the fuckin game. Are guys really that pussy whipped? No pussy is worth that kinda shit.

 

[killertone]

So glad I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff. My wife could care less what I buy. She signed on for this shit a long time ago.

The thing about it is that I will never buy anything that I can't pay cash for. No CC's unless I pay the balance that month. I think that is the only responsible thing to do anyway.

And lemme tell ya, the financial industry just hates you for this

Mojo

Yes they do. But they love my 826 credit score. They are just waiting for me to slip up. Not gonna happen.

 

[Ventura]

So glad I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff. My wife could care less what I buy. She signed on for this shit a long time ago.

The thing about it is that I will never buy anything that I can't pay cash for. No CC's unless I pay the balance that month. I think that is the only responsible thing to do anyway.

I don't understand why people use cash for anything nowadays (as long as you can pay it off at the end of the month).
Reasons:
1) Builds credit score
2) Get cash back (or reward points). Last year I got over $600 back from one card.
3) Makes it easier to budget and see where your money is going (for me anyway).

However, as stated previously, YOU MUST PAY IT OFF MONTHLY to avoid finance charges.

If you have the discipline and can afford it, then it probably is the way to go. The problem is too many people justify making purchases they can't afford and get into trouble...And that is the kind of trouble you never want to find yourself in. Cash is king for me

Furthermore, whoever said I was born with the pre-emptive necessity to have credit?

Sorry man, but fvck credit - fvck the banks - and fvck the system. Credit is this contrived and deliberate umbrella that's been forced upon us and we are fed the line that it's "good for us", well lemme tell ya, it's horseshit. Cash is king, and it also keeps 'The Man' from knowing your every move. Sorry if I sound jaded, but I work with big money and my disdain for this "mysterious omnipresence" called "credit rating" sickens me. But it's a killer, super well laid out con, lemme tell ya...

Put it this way... I remember speaking to a whack of business students back in the day - I was a graduate, whatever. I've also been a key-note speaker on all sorts of topics since I care to remember, whatever. ANYWAY, I'm standing there talking to an assembly of commerce and finance students... I said "who here had received one of those 'you've been approved for a $XXXX credit card by this bank, simply fill out form and mail to XXXXX' before you got into your post secondary education??". Barely a hand went up. I then said "Alright, now we're all into our last semester more or less, and have any of you received these letters? These offers? How many, 2? 3? 8 or 9???" and practically ALL the hands went up. I then asked... "Anyone here wonder how it is you're now getting these? Why it is or how it is the financial institutions know in a matter of months you ought to be employable? Just askin..."

I then went on this little dialogue about the ways of financial life... I said, you went to school, you were broke, we all went to school and most of us were borderline broke - shitty food in order to pay for expensive books - cheap beer night - no luxuries, just hard work. You did your time - some 4 years, some 6, some 8 years. Suddenly, doors are opening up...hey, I got 3 or 4 credit cards with $10,000 limits EACH without even ASKING!?!?!? AWESOME!!!! PARTY!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! And so the cycle begins, you spend, you pay, you spend you pay, you accrue, you pay interest, you accrue more, and pay it off, yada yada yada yada... And all this while, they're telling you "this is how to establish your credit, keep up the good work m'boy". And so you continue to do this - buy, pay, buy, pay - no problem, right? Sure.

Then one day...shit hits the fan, a loss of a job, uninsured accident, poor health, divorce, whatever extenuating circumstances we as human beings more often than not have to go through in the regular course of life!! You explain to these wonderful people you need a break, something bad happened, some time is needed, etc. What's the first thing they do? They threaten your credit - they say you may lose your credit rating, you could get docked on your credit score, bad things are going to happen...just make the minimum payment and everything will be fine. Well, sometimes it works out - many a time it doesn't, and suddenly, the system turns against you. YOU are no longer playing within THEIR rules. And watch what happens - this very thing that you never asked for, credit, starts to be used as a threatening device to scare you... It's not like food, shelter, warmth, comfort, water, sunlight... Credit wasn't deemed "a necessary element to existence" when we came out of the womb..!?!?!? But now... Now The Man is telling you it's all you are, and ya better play by the rules or you are fucked 100% laddy...and you don't wanna go there!! How did this happen? I graduate, they offer, I take, I use, they encourage, they continue to encourage, they entice with low rates, they entice with cashback offers, they SET YOU UP TO GET IN TO DEEP only to then threaten you with something you never even asked for.... Credit.

It's a fuckin' sham cats...a complete and utter racket. You wanna piss The Man off? Go with good ol' green and don't give a rats ass iota about "your credit rating". It's only another tool they use against you and to garner marketing profile data to better their consumer targeting and keep the machine running optimally.

Cheers,
Mo

PS - sorry for the tangent....just irks me.

 

[rcm78]

I think the question by itself is kind of foolish...
If you can afford something its not a problem, If you're struggling to pay the bills and you buy something then that's a problem.

I havent been here long but have seen a few threads where people admit to maxing out CC's on gear. Maybe if they had a voice of reason, or listened to that person it never would have happened...