Someone left this in my office today

FokenBusker said:
In my mid 30's I worked as a furniture mover. Around that time, I also started really feeling my age. The first thing that really took me by surprise was how much happier I was at work if I took my shit first thing in the morning. My brain works better after that. Makes me wonder how much wasted cranial RAM goes towards keeping track of turtlehead-related shit dangers
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I used to work with a guy that would take “heat shits”. His theory was that the turds were little logs of heat, and if he took one on a hot day it would cool him off.
I couldn’t disprove him
 
CrazyNutz said:
Fuck dude, when I was 18 my buddy convinced me to work with him as an apartment mover over the weekends. I already had a good job, but I just did it because he needed a partner, or else they wouldn't even issue any jobs to him (makes sense).

Gawwwwwd damn son, people only call the movers to move brutally heavy shit. It was a MF'er. Gave me hemorrhoids and shit :hys:
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Fuck man, every day. Every. Single. Day.

I worked for a moving company that's insured, too. It meant if we broke your stuff we'd be on the hook to replace it. We were painstakingly trained in not breaking shit because the owners didn't want their premiums jacked. As a result of the higher overhead price associated with using this company, we basically only moved rich people. They were fucking horrendous, and owned soooooooo much bullshit. And the demands, holy shit.

One time a customer grabbed me by the arms while I was team lifting his antique cabinet down a particularly claustrophobic victorian basement stairwell, just to yell "BE CAREFUL WITH THAT," an entirely unnecessary request, and technically an act of physical assault, not to mention a huge endangerment to me in that precarious position. I wanted to kill the fuck.
 
FokenBusker said:
Lots of noise complaints in spring
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Actually I only worked summers there so I can’t confirm his winter attitude.

It was a beautiful property with world renowned gardens and no one had any idea that a bunch of degenerates took care of it lol.

Another guy had me convinced for almost 3 years that his wife had a fake leg. I met her multiple times too.
 
FokenBusker said:
Fuck man, every day. Every. Single. Day.

I worked for a moving company that's insured, too. It meant if we broke your stuff we'd be on the hook to replace it. We were painstakingly trained in not breaking shit because the owners didn't want their premiums jacked. As a result of the higher overhead price associated with using this company, we basically only moved rich people. They were fucking horrendous, and owned soooooooo much bullshit. And the demands, holy shit.

One time a customer grabbed me by the arms while I was team lifting his antique cabinet down a particularly claustrophobic victorian basement stairwell, just to yell "BE CAREFUL WITH THAT," an entirely unnecessary request, and technically an act of physical assault, not to mention a huge endangerment to me in that precarious position. I wanted to kill the fuck.
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Yeah man we had a job with a massive glass antique china cabinet, no way to back the trailer up to the door, and a uneven yard. we had to get sheets of plywood to make a smooth path to roll that fucker out across the yard. Luckily it was in three pieces.

We used to break shit at times, however I was good at getting them to sign a waiver LOL. My strategy was find the husband, give him some money off the move, worked every time. If the wife caught wind of it first we were always fucked, not in a good way.

By far the worse move was a Judge, he had the best, and most expensive everything. The expensive shit weighs a lot. We moved ALL his shit to a loft apartment downtown, he had the whole top floor. This is the job that made me quit.
 
CrazyNutz said:
Yeah man we had a job with a massive glass antique china cabinet, no way to back the trailer up to the door, and a uneven yard. we had to get sheets of plywood to make a smooth path to roll that fucker out across the yard. Luckily it was in three pieces.

We used to break shit at times, however I was good at getting them to sign a waiver LOL. My strategy was find the husband, give him some money off the move, worked every time. If the wife caught wind of it first we were always fucked, not in a good way.

By far the worse move was a Judge, he had the best, and most expensive everything. The expensive shit weighs a lot. We moved ALL his shit to a loft apartment downtown, he had the whole top floor. This is the job that made me quit.
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giphy.gif
 
CrazyNutz said:
Yeah man we had a job with a massive glass antique china cabinet, no way to back the trailer up to the door, and a uneven yard. we had to get sheets of plywood to make a smooth path to roll that fucker out across the yard. Luckily it was in three pieces.

We used to break shit at times, however I was good at getting them to sign a waiver LOL. My strategy was find the husband, give him some money off the move, worked every time. If the wife caught wind of it first we were always fucked, not in a good way.

By far the worse move was a Judge, he had the best, and most expensive everything. The expensive shit weighs a lot. We moved ALL his shit to a loft apartment downtown, he had the whole top floor. This is the job that made me quit.
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We once did a 3 week gig for a local miser family in their rotten old victorian mansion. The unfinished concrete basement was absolutely slick with mould, and it was insulated with exposed asbestos. They were fucking insane. Absolute worst customer we had the entire time I worked there.
 
Aynirar27 said:
I used to work with a guy that would take “heat shits”. His theory was that the turds were little logs of heat, and if he took one on a hot day it would cool him off.
I couldn’t disprove him
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As you entered your mid-30s, you noticed that taking care of your bowel movements in the morning made you happier and more productive at work. This observation led you to consider the mental energy expended on managing bathroom-related concerns.
 
CrazyNutz said:
Yeah man we had a job with a massive glass antique china cabinet, no way to back the trailer up to the door, and a uneven yard. we had to get sheets of plywood to make a smooth path to roll that fucker out across the yard. Luckily it was in three pieces.

We used to break shit at times, however I was good at getting them to sign a waiver LOL. My strategy was find the husband, give him some money off the move, worked every time. If the wife caught wind of it first we were always fucked, not in a good way.

By far the worse move was a Judge, he had the best, and most expensive everything. The expensive shit weighs a lot. We moved ALL his shit to a loft apartment downtown, he had the whole top floor. This is the job that made me quit.
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This is why I never want to move.
 
Aynirar27 said:
Odd thread bump
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That's 'cause it's a bot Danno.

Mitchel7866 said:
As you entered your mid-30s, you noticed that taking care of your bowel movements in the morning made you happier and more productive at work. This observation led you to consider the mental energy expended on managing bathroom-related concerns.
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Yeah... na. Terrible effort even for a bot. :LOL:

Bye now. :banhim: :gethim:

Bant - Clint & Clyde.gif
 
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