The official guitar player selling phrases translated.

[thiswaythatway]

It's too much amp for me. = Why the fuck did I buy this?

I'm just not playing it that much. = I really hate this piece of shit.

I'm more of a Marshall guy. = I really hate Mesa.

I need money ASAP as my dog needs an operation, but hit me up with trade offers. = No translation needed, the dog's ok.

I bought this strat on an impulse buy, don't need it. = I watched Eric Johnson Cliffs of Dover video and this strat doesn't sound like that.

Axe-FX for sale, just want to try something else. = Everyone else bought a Kemper so I will as well.


Feel free to add to the list. I bet I'll be guilty of more than a few.

 

[Heritage Softail]

Wife is on my ass to sell some gear.

Equals

If I want that ass any time soon, I need to sell some gear...

 

[Chris6870]

New tubes = I tried everything,even new tubes and this thing still sounds like ass

 

[metalmaniac93]

 

[rupe]

I need more gain for my style = my technique sucks and I'm trying to bury it under tons compression and distortion
Splawn's have weird mids and/or are too stiff sounding = this amp completely exposes how badly I suck
I think I finally found the amp for me = check the classifieds next month

 

[moltenmetalburn]

Lmfao, bravo!

 

[Steinmetzify]

I need more gain for my style = my technique sucks and I'm trying to bury it under tons compression and distortion

I am completely guilty of this.

 

[DGW]

It sounds just like a Marshall,,,

 

[steve_k]

You'll never here because its an Acme Tone Sucker and sounds like ass.....

 

[thiswaythatway]

I leterally took it out of the box, made sure everything was ok, and packed it back up. = Wow what a shitty sounding POS.

 

[thiswaythatway]

On a related note, I was checking out a cab on Ebay and noticed some crap on the grill clothe so I asked what it was. But I offered a low bid on the item that I didn't think would get accepted, but he did take my low offer bid. Although, he didn't yet answer my question about the funk on the grill. THEN, after he accepted my bid he sends me a message saying the basment where the cab was got flooded during Hurrican Sandy and it had "some" debris on the grill and the cab was exposed to water. Well, it would have been nice if anything about that was mentioned in the auction. So yeah, major flags go up here right!

He said the cab was cleaned and checked out by someone, but I'm not touching anything that was in a flood. Mold can be a bitch, it doesn't bother me that much but my wife is seriously allergic to it. And enough black mold will fuck up anyone after a while.

Amazing what people don't mention sometimes in their auctions.

 

[Bob Savage]

I leterally took it out of the box, made sure everything was ok, and packed it back up. = Wow what a shitty sounding POS.

I have a craigslist ad up right now for a Mackie FR-800 power amp that's exactly this. Bought it to use with the Axe-Fx, never put the rig together and don't need it so it's for sale, like-new. I have no idea what it sounds like other than Mackie makes some pretty decent gear.

Edit: Just added it to the classifieds here too.

 

[crankyrayhanky]

"This is a player's instrument, not a museum piece">>beat to near death

 

[rlord1974]

It's the best sounding "hot rodded Marshall" style amp I've ever played = It sounds almost identical to all of the other "hot rodded Marshall" style amps I have owned, but I'm an idiot and want to purchase the recently released $3k "hot rodded Marshall" style amp that everyone is talking about right now. It must sound better than all the others, right?



This guitar has tone for days = This guitar sounds like fishing wire attached to a waterlogged piece of particle board, and I am just hoping some sucker will take this off my hands for close to what I paid for it.....



I'll probably regret selling this..... = I can't wait to get this POS outta here.



This is the best Marshall I've ever heard, and I've owned a LOT of them = This Marshall is ice picky and sounds HORRENDOUS! I'm STILL looking for one that sounds half decent.



My car just broke down and needs to be replaced so, reluctantly, I need to move this = If I pull on peoples' heartstrings, they just might give me close to the exorbitant asking price I posted for this. Oh, and by the way, my Mercedes is running just fine.

 

[thiswaythatway]

My wife left me and took everything, the house, the car, the kids, the dog. I need to sell to get my feet back on the ground = My wife found out I bought a guitar and got pissed off and I had to sleep on the couch for one night. But I need to get that new Joe Walsh Signature LP for 12K.

 

[thiswaythatway]

I hand picked this Strat out of the dozen that were available. = This was the only one without crusty strings, bowed or humped necks, tuned down the G flat, and the only without bugers on it from the GC tweeny crowd.

 

[Bob Savage]

"This is a player's instrument, not a museum piece">>beat to near death

One of my favs is also "normal wear for it's age."

 

[rlord1974]

One of my favs is also "normal wear for it's age."

Are we still talking about guitar Classified listings, or are we now talking about groupies?.....

 

[WizardSouth-JP]

Selling to make room for another purchase = why the hell did I buy this POS, I knew it was crap

Must sell, bills coming in = got drunk as a skunk and bought so much stuff online last night wife is going to sh&t bricks

 

[Bob Savage]

One of my favs is also "normal wear for it's age."

Are we still talking about guitar Classified listings, or are we now talking about groupies?.....

Yes.