2ncicu
Well-known member
It was Their money which both worked hard for. It is not ours. I just think things should be transparent and equitable to the siblings. I am not a greedy person but I am fair.
P
paulyc
Well-known member
You can’t have a trust without at least two trustees, so your brother can’t run it alone, and USUALLY the other trustee is a lawyer or an accountant or financial institution like Fidelity or Vanguard, or a bank.
Last edited:
ccn
Well-known member
Demand that the cash is yours , ALL OF IT . After doing so make sure that you tell them you're not greedy and happen to be a very level headed and fair individual.
2ncicu
Well-known member
Oldest male and my sister are the eldest. They run the show.
311boogieman
Well-known member
I can't help you legally but I agree with Floyd here as it relates to a family Trust.
Also - very sorry to hear that you and your family are going through this AND it sucks about your dad passing and mom. Best of luck with all of it.
Also - very sorry to hear that you and your family are going through this AND it sucks about your dad passing and mom. Best of luck with all of it.
Last edited:
P
paulyc
Well-known member
If the money was in trust at least 5 years before your mom went into care, the state should be picking up the tab, if it went into trust when your dad passed, the trust is on the hook for 5 years, if theres money left after 5 years, you guys can stop paying the facility and the state will place her in a state run facility and pick up the tab if that’s your wish.
Floyd Eye
Well-known member
Dude, my apologies for being rude. My condolences on your loss.
2ncicu
Well-known member
Nah, the trust was made a decade ago. Mom is in a very nice place with Memory Care and deserves that. Not tossing her into a compost pile State run facility.
2ncicu
Well-known member
You were not rude at all- thanks for your input Bro.
2ncicu
Well-known member
Thank you Brothers and Sister for the input. I know what I will do, just wanted some opinions. Let the thread sink. Thanks again!
P
paulyc
Well-known member
My mom is in a nice private facility with memory care and it’s 8K a month, not 18K.
Floyd Eye
Well-known member
Good luck brother.
2ncicu
Well-known member
Well, maybe location. South hill Spokane with full size rooms and any amenity you can think of is available. She and Dad worked their asses off to afford nice. Their $, not mine not my say. Their wish.
CrazyNutz
Well-known member
Sounds like a fucked deal.
psychodave
Well-known member
You should get the additional $17k in some form. A give to your son seems to be the right choice.
Estates bring out the worst in people. I’m dealing with it now. My brother and I are successful and have money saved. My sister and other brother have always scraped by… and they feel entitled to more since they have less. ?
Estates bring out the worst in people. I’m dealing with it now. My brother and I are successful and have money saved. My sister and other brother have always scraped by… and they feel entitled to more since they have less. ?
C
Clig Herdunkachuk
Well-known member
Is this in writing with your fathers notarized signature or is this some “verbal“ deal one of your siblings is pushing?
With that said, I would say first and foremost: it is not you or your siblings money. The money is now your mothers as the surviving spouse because their possessions are jointly owned. I am guessing one or more of your siblings now have legal guardianship over your mother (and thus full control of her finances)?
I would suggest that no one should get a dime until your mother passes. It is her money. She is alive and may need those resources for her own health care and living expenses.
When your mother passes, the money becomes the property of her estate which should be divied in accordance with her will or as instructed by the courts in the absence of a wil. Presuming the will is not contested.
There is no estate tax at this point. Your fathers death caused your mother to become the sole owner of their assets and properties. No probate required. No inheritance. Full property rights simply shifted to your mother when your father passed… and to anyone with property guardianship over your mother.
His pension and any life insurance are not shared property and you need to make claims to access these assets (e.g. survivor benefits on the pension… if there are any, payouts on life insurance).
You will want to watch what any guardians do to her will. Legal guardians have the full control over the property rights of the person they have guardianship over. That includes the ability to create and/or alter wills.
You will be the asshole if you make a stink. That could have lasting impact on your familial relations. Are you ok with being cast as the asshole? Are you ok with the potential rift this could cause?
If you are, I would argue that no one should get a payment until your mother passes. If your fight were to make its way to the courts, I think a court would be more sympathetic to that argument than one that would amount to “give me more money”.
Once assets are the property of an estate, a completely different set of laws apply. Guardianships and legal powers of attorney are nullified and access to the assets of the estate are legally restricted. Final bills, liabilities, and administration fees must be settled from her estate before any payouts occur. You would have a stronger standing when an estate is divied I think than you would fighting a legal guardian.
That does not mean that a sibling with access to the bank account cannot access the funds, but it does mean they have to answer to the probate court for doing so.
The only people who walk away happy and enriched from shit shows like you are getting ready to go through are… the attorneys.
You are going to learn a lot about your family as you go through this process. Just my $0.02.
With that said, I would say first and foremost: it is not you or your siblings money. The money is now your mothers as the surviving spouse because their possessions are jointly owned. I am guessing one or more of your siblings now have legal guardianship over your mother (and thus full control of her finances)?
I would suggest that no one should get a dime until your mother passes. It is her money. She is alive and may need those resources for her own health care and living expenses.
When your mother passes, the money becomes the property of her estate which should be divied in accordance with her will or as instructed by the courts in the absence of a wil. Presuming the will is not contested.
There is no estate tax at this point. Your fathers death caused your mother to become the sole owner of their assets and properties. No probate required. No inheritance. Full property rights simply shifted to your mother when your father passed… and to anyone with property guardianship over your mother.
His pension and any life insurance are not shared property and you need to make claims to access these assets (e.g. survivor benefits on the pension… if there are any, payouts on life insurance).
You will want to watch what any guardians do to her will. Legal guardians have the full control over the property rights of the person they have guardianship over. That includes the ability to create and/or alter wills.
You will be the asshole if you make a stink. That could have lasting impact on your familial relations. Are you ok with being cast as the asshole? Are you ok with the potential rift this could cause?
If you are, I would argue that no one should get a payment until your mother passes. If your fight were to make its way to the courts, I think a court would be more sympathetic to that argument than one that would amount to “give me more money”.
Once assets are the property of an estate, a completely different set of laws apply. Guardianships and legal powers of attorney are nullified and access to the assets of the estate are legally restricted. Final bills, liabilities, and administration fees must be settled from her estate before any payouts occur. You would have a stronger standing when an estate is divied I think than you would fighting a legal guardian.
That does not mean that a sibling with access to the bank account cannot access the funds, but it does mean they have to answer to the probate court for doing so.
The only people who walk away happy and enriched from shit shows like you are getting ready to go through are… the attorneys.
You are going to learn a lot about your family as you go through this process. Just my $0.02.
Last edited:
dcburn
Well-known member
Its fucked up!
Tell 'em you'll settle for $30k
I jest, but I'd be pretty upset myself, need the money or not.
Tell 'em you'll settle for $30k
I jest, but I'd be pretty upset myself, need the money or not.
