Gibson CEO fired - caught banging midget with a fender Strat in his office

  • Thread starter Thread starter Deleted member 16554
  • Start date Start date
Boston Bruins coaching staff.
cut.jpg
 
Beyond Black said:
I wanna hear it. Have your bud type it and then copy and paste it. Make it happen you lazy bastard.
Click to expand...
so my buddy went to the court house to pay his taxes....gets in the elevator with a few other people and starts going up. Elevator goes up a floor and stops and everyone clears out but him.....or so he thought.....so my buddy is kind of a clown so he says he decides to gas up the elevator to fuck with the next person who decides to use it. So he leans forward placing both arms on the door and lets out the longest-loudest-gnarliest methane bomb ever. He said when he finished he looked up thinking damn-I better go wipe....and then he hears the sound of someone gagging.....he spins around and unbeknownst to him a midget in a three piece suite with a briefcase is standing there looking up at him with an enraged murder-death-kill expression on his face. He screams "YOU JUST SHIT IN MY FUCKING FACE! YOU LITERALLY JUST SHIT IN MY FUCKING FACE YOU FAT BASTARD!" He said he was in complete shock....had no idea little dude was in their with him. At this time the doors opened and he ran oUt to the midget following him screaming "GET BACK HERE YOU NASTY BASTARD! GET BACK HERE YOU FAT NASTY FUCK!".....He said he turned and hit the stairwell and took off....said he mailed his shit in....It's not over yet though. He said about five years later he's at the beach with his family and he's standing outside the hotel when this Lincoln town car pulls up and this midget climbs out the driver's seat. The midget looks at him and his eyes get big...it's the midget that he shit on at the courthouse. He said the midget immediately begins cursing him and tries to get him to fight him. Dude says he just turned around and took off with everyone laughing at him because it looked like he just got punked by a midget. Said his vacation was ruined because he kept looking over his shoulder for this midget the whole time he was there. Moral of the story....look down before you crop dust an elevator....there might be a midget attorney standing there......
 
JackBootedThug said:
so my buddy went to the court house to pay his taxes....gets in the elevator with a few other people and starts going up. Elevator goes up a floor and stops and everyone clears out but him.....or so he thought.....so my buddy is kind of a clown so he says he decides to gas up the elevator to fuck with the next person who decides to use it. So he leans forward placing both arms on the door and lets out the longest-loudest-gnarliest methane bomb ever. He said when he finished he looked up thinking damn-I better go wipe....and then he hears the sound of someone gagging.....he spins around and unbeknownst to him a midget in a three piece suite with a briefcase is standing there looking up at him with an enraged murder-death-kill expression on his face. He screams "YOU JUST SHIT IN MY FUCKING FACE! YOU LITERALLY JUST SHIT IN MY FUCKING FACE YOU FAT BASTARD!" He said he was in complete shock....had no idea little dude was in there with him. At this time the doors opened and he ran oUt to the midget following him screaming "GET BACK HERE YOU NASTY BASTARD! GET BACK HERE YOU FAT NASTY FUCK!".....He said he turned and hit the stairwell and took off....said he mailed his shit in....It's not over yet though. He said about five years later he's at the beach with his family and he's standing outside the hotel when this Lincoln town car pulls up and this midget climbs out the driver's seat. The midget looks at him and his eyes get big...it's the midget that he shit on at the courthouse. He said the midget immediately begins cursing him and tries to get him to fight him. Dude says he just turned around and took off with everyone laughing at him because it looked like he just got punked by a midget. Said his vacation was ruined because he kept looking over his shoulder for this midget the whole time he was there. Moral of the story....look down before you crop dust an elevator....there might be a midget attorney standing there......
Click to expand...
Oh my god, you win the internet for the day (at least)
 
Leveraged Sellout said:
Seriously dude we need a midget story :salute:

The most thought provoking midget story I heard recently was from watching the first tone talk episode with George Metropolous…he apparently went out partying with Reinhold Bogner and ended up in some LA alleyway drunk as a skunk…during the whole ordeal he remembered having a moment of clarity and realizing he was surrounded by some of the strangest people he had ever seen in addition to midgets and all he could say to himself was “I shouldn’t be here”
Click to expand...

I worked with one at a restaurant in Mass; she was an ex-prostitute, dabbled with crack on occasion, had a crazy mean streak in her and could drink most of our co-workers under the table. We all went out for Halloween once and when I got there people were already calming her down about something. That was a regular occurrence and I thought nothing of it until she disappeared and a bunch of commotion starts at the bathroom area, we all turn and she’s on some guy’s back clawing at him like a fuckin‘ bobcat.

I couldn’t do anything but laugh, I started making my way to that area but not to break it up, I was legit about to piss my pants from laughing so hard. Since by the time we all saw it, the guy was standing, once it was over we all asked her how she jumped that high and her reply had us all dying again, “He was sitting so I jumped off the fucking chair next to him, does it look like I can jump 5 feet in the air you fucking idiot? You think that’s the first time I jumped on a motherfucker’s back?“

She was like having a violent, female version of Hank The Angry Drunk Dwarf hanging around (Hank lived not far from that area, I would have loved to see those two together). Almost every night ended with her in the backseat of someone’s car clutching a bottle of water or gatorade like a baby bottle. She’d brag about being able to take dick better than “you skinny tall bitches with shallow cunts and weak mouths” :ROFLMAO: We had a party at my place one time and she was cooking coke down in the bathroom, if you walked in she’d say “This is for smoking rock, sucking dick or eating pussy and I ain’t suckin’ no dick or eatin no pussy unless you’re smoking rock with me so sit down or get the fuck out” I eventually asked her to go out in someone’s car to do it because everyone was freaking the fuck out about a crack smoking midget in the bathroom.

She also used to come into work after parties and randomly ask the dude servers “Did I suck your dick last night? I woke up tasting pussy and since you’re the biggest pussy in here I assumed I sucked your dick last night. Did I? What the fuck you laughing about?“ She was somethin’ else, man. She passed away a couple years ago. In the 5 years I knew her I only got to have one real conversation with her where she was chill, she had a majorly fucked up life and I can’t fault her one bit for living the way she did. That woman didn’t take shit from anyone and only did exactly what she wanted to do.
 
RevDrucifer said:
I worked with one at a restaurant in Mass; she was an ex-prostitute, dabbled with crack on occasion, had a crazy mean streak in her and could drink most of our co-workers under the table. We all went out for Halloween once and when I got there people were already calming her down about something. That was a regular occurrence and I thought nothing of it until she disappeared and a bunch of commotion starts at the bathroom area, we all turn and she’s on some guy’s back clawing at him like a fuckin‘ bobcat.

I couldn’t do anything but laugh, I started making my way to that area but not to break it up, I was legit about to piss my pants from laughing so hard. Since by the time we all saw it, the guy was standing, once it was over we all asked her how she jumped that high and her reply had us all dying again, “He was sitting so I jumped off the fucking chair next to him, does it look like I can jump 5 feet in the air you fucking idiot? You think that’s the first time I jumped on a motherfucker’s back?“

She was like having a violent, female version of Hank The Angry Drunk Dwarf hanging around (Hank lived not far from that area, I would have loved to see those two together). Almost every night ended with her in the backseat of someone’s car clutching a bottle of water or gatorade like a baby bottle. She’d brag about being able to take dick better than “you skinny tall bitches with shallow cunts and weak mouths” :ROFLMAO: We had a party at my place one time and she was cooking coke down in the bathroom, if you walked in she’d say “This is for smoking rock, sucking dick or eating pussy and I ain’t suckin’ no dick or eatin no pussy unless you’re smoking rock with me so sit down or get the fuck out” I eventually asked her to go out in someone’s car to do it because everyone was freaking the fuck out about a crack smoking midget in the bathroom.

She also used to come into work after parties and randomly ask the dude servers “Did I suck your dick last night? I woke up tasting pussy and since you’re the biggest pussy in here I assumed I sucked your dick last night. Did I? What the fuck you laughing about?“ She was somethin’ else, man. She passed away a couple years ago. In the 5 years I knew her I only got to have one real conversation with her where she was chill, she had a majorly fucked up life and I can’t fault her one bit for living the way she did. That woman didn’t take shit from anyone and only did exactly what she wanted to do.
Click to expand...

Christ almighty!

live fast die young, born to lose live to win
 
JackBootedThug said:
you have to share sir.....if I typed all that shit on my post your legally required to now....or something like that....
Click to expand...

When I was in high school I worked part time at a full service gas station, along with three other old guys (one dirty ass extremely alcoholic white guy, one black guy, and one extremely alcoholic midget)

The white guy and the midget would constantly drink on the job and get drunk as fuck and inevitably end up getting in heated arguments (leading to hilarious fist fights in a few instances) with each other; the midget was a real asshole when he was drunk (which was basically 24/7).

We had an old broken down tanker truck in the backyard and the midget always had a fifth of shitty Skol vodka stashed in the truck; he'd occasionally walk back there and take swigs when he thought no one was looking.

So with that bit of background info, one time the midget was drunk as fuck talking shit and started arguing with and threatening the black guy.

Eventually dude had had enough, and I watched him pick up the midget and throw him in the dumpster lololol

Was hilarious watching him try to climb out of it

Another time, the midget pissed the black guy off again. Black guy comes up to me and says "i'm tired of that little motherfucker; I got something for his ass - watch this"

So of course I'm intrigued. When the midget was busy elsewhere, black guy sneaks to the back and grabs the midgets fifth. He dumps out half of the vodka and then fills it back up with piss (was very obviously yellow too lmao).

About ten or fifteen minutes later, I watch the midget drunkenly walk back there and grab the bottle and turn that motherfucker up and chug it


That's just the tip of the iceberg of the shit I experienced there; by far the most entertaining job I've ever had
 
Devin said:
When I was in high school I worked part time at a full service gas station, along with three other old guys (one dirty ass extremely alcoholic white guy, one black guy, and one extremely alcoholic midget)

The white guy and the midget would constantly drink on the job and get drunk as fuck and inevitably end up getting in heated arguments (leading to hilarious fist fights in a few instances) with each other; the midget was a real asshole when he was drunk (which was basically 24/7).

We had an old broken down tanker truck in the backyard and the midget always had a fifth of shitty Skol vodka stashed in the truck; he'd occasionally walk back there and take swigs when he thought no one was looking.

So with that bit of background info, one time the midget was drunk as fuck talking shit and started arguing with and threatening the black guy.

Eventually dude had had enough, and I watched him pick up the midget and throw him in the dumpster lololol

Was hilarious watching him try to climb out of it

Another time, the midget pissed the black guy off again. Black guy comes up to me and says "i'm tired of that little motherfucker; I got something for his ass - watch this"

So of course I'm intrigued. When the midget was busy elsewhere, black guy sneaks to the back and grabs the midgets fifth. He dumps out half of the vodka and then fills it back up with piss (was very obviously yellow too lmao).

About ten or fifteen minutes later, I watch the midget drunkenly walk back there and grab the bottle and turn that motherfucker up and chug it


That's just the tip of the iceberg of the shit I experienced there; by far the most entertaining job I've ever had
Click to expand...
Holy hell! You gotta share more!!
 
I worked with a guy who used to bang a midget and tell us all the details. Said his dong looked like a tree trunk in her little hands. He’d bang her from behind while she stood on a chair. He’d bench press her on his face. Says he hung her from a ceiling fan and spun her on his dick like a basketball spinning on Dr. J’s fingertip. He was a twisted fuck and I believed every word.
 
JackBootedThug said:
so my buddy went to the court house to pay his taxes....gets in the elevator with a few other people and starts going up. Elevator goes up a floor and stops and everyone clears out but him.....or so he thought.....so my buddy is kind of a clown so he says he decides to gas up the elevator to fuck with the next person who decides to use it. So he leans forward placing both arms on the door and lets out the longest-loudest-gnarliest methane bomb ever. He said when he finished he looked up thinking damn-I better go wipe....and then he hears the sound of someone gagging.....he spins around and unbeknownst to him a midget in a three piece suite with a briefcase is standing there looking up at him with an enraged murder-death-kill expression on his face. He screams "YOU JUST SHIT IN MY FUCKING FACE! YOU LITERALLY JUST SHIT IN MY FUCKING FACE YOU FAT BASTARD!" He said he was in complete shock....had no idea little dude was in their with him. At this time the doors opened and he ran oUt to the midget following him screaming "GET BACK HERE YOU NASTY BASTARD! GET BACK HERE YOU FAT NASTY FUCK!".....He said he turned and hit the stairwell and took off....said he mailed his shit in....It's not over yet though. He said about five years later he's at the beach with his family and he's standing outside the hotel when this Lincoln town car pulls up and this midget climbs out the driver's seat. The midget looks at him and his eyes get big...it's the midget that he shit on at the courthouse. He said the midget immediately begins cursing him and tries to get him to fight him. Dude says he just turned around and took off with everyone laughing at him because it looked like he just got punked by a midget. Said his vacation was ruined because he kept looking over his shoulder for this midget the whole time he was there. Moral of the story....look down before you crop dust an elevator....there might be a midget attorney standing there......
Click to expand...
As funny as that story is, the funniest part is the midget driving a Town Car. :hys:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top