I had a finger up my ass today!

[PeteLaramee]

Bah, wait till you hit Colonoscopy Town and right afterwards your wife decides since your not at work its a great time for her to aquire a new vehilce. Everything is great, except for the fact you have to politely leave the room every two minutes because your ass is going off like a fat kid playing a tuba in a small town 4th of July parade.

The sound you're referring to is called "the anal belch"...and I know it well.

 

[Gainfreak]

Im literally in tears

 

[mentoneman]

 

[PeteLaramee]

I'm at work right now and I'm laughing so hard I just blew snot out of my eye....I'm going to get fired.

 

[lamppost]

I love this thread with every fiber of my being!

Seriously, I'm thinking of finding a way to stay 26. You guys aren't giving us youngsters nothing to look forward too!

 

[headlessdeadguy]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHKTE75dgE4

I had to stop production in the shop so everyone could see what the hell I was laughing at.

 

[kannibul]

PMG...Tuba Fats....

 

[bill]

First time I ever had that done was unexpected. I was in for a life insurance physical and I think I was around 45 or so age wise. They did all the normal stuff and then had me go into a room to disrobe for the naked stuff. In walks the Doctor who I had never met. Total knock out should have been a model. She proceedes to do the hernia check etc. Then she does the fickled finger of fate. 1st time for me but due to the beauty of the doctor it wasn't so bad. I now get the full physical every year on my birthday and still have a female doctor. Also get the PSA done at the same time. Better to safe than sorry and also better a female than a male.

 

[PeteLaramee]

Bah, wait till you hit Colonoscopy Town and right afterwards your wife decides since your not at work its a great time for her to aquire a new vehilce. Everything is great, except for the fact you have to politely leave the room every two minutes because your ass is going off like a fat kid playing a tuba in a small town 4th of July parade.

BTW - I could never cross my legs while sitting down utnil I had a colonoscopy. Now I'm so loose I can twist my legs together like a sugary cruller.

 

[david simpson]

Yeah...great fun every February for me....I refer to my Doc as "Father Torrelli" that time of the year......"Father Torrelli" always goes a little further up there than I can take.....

 

[Gainfreak]

Bah, wait till you hit Colonoscopy Town and right afterwards your wife decides since your not at work its a great time for her to aquire a new vehilce. Everything is great, except for the fact you have to politely leave the room every two minutes because your ass is going off like a fat kid playing a tuba in a small town 4th of July parade.

BTW - I could never cross my legs while sitting down utnil I had a colonoscopy. Now I'm so loose I can twist my legs together like a sugary cruller.

Hey Pete, this should give you some inspiration for your next CD.......Adulthood memories

 

[david simpson]

Bah, wait till you hit Colonoscopy Town and right afterwards your wife decides since your not at work its a great time for her to aquire a new vehilce. Everything is great, except for the fact you have to politely leave the room every two minutes because your ass is going off like a fat kid playing a tuba in a small town 4th of July parade.

BTW - I could never cross my legs while sitting down utnil I had a colonoscopy. Now I'm so loose I can twist my legs together like a sugary cruller.

This right here....is golden..

 

[PeteLaramee]

Bah, wait till you hit Colonoscopy Town and right afterwards your wife decides since your not at work its a great time for her to aquire a new vehilce. Everything is great, except for the fact you have to politely leave the room every two minutes because your ass is going off like a fat kid playing a tuba in a small town 4th of July parade.

BTW - I could never cross my legs while sitting down utnil I had a colonoscopy. Now I'm so loose I can twist my legs together like a sugary cruller.

Hey Pete, this should give you some inspiration for your next CD.......Adulthood memories

I guess this song would be called "Anal Virgin...No More: The Ballad of the Quivering Sphincter."

 

[PeteLaramee]

Bah, wait till you hit Colonoscopy Town and right afterwards your wife decides since your not at work its a great time for her to aquire a new vehilce. Everything is great, except for the fact you have to politely leave the room every two minutes because your ass is going off like a fat kid playing a tuba in a small town 4th of July parade.

BTW - I could never cross my legs while sitting down utnil I had a colonoscopy. Now I'm so loose I can twist my legs together like a sugary cruller.

This right here....is golden..

...maybe not golden...more rosey and swollen...with the smell of shame in the air.

 

[Code001]

Yea - my problems started with taking assloads (pun intended) of sudafedrine. Also, I have a cyst in my urethra probably caused from taking a few in the nuts (I was a catcher for 11 years). So, I've had two cystoscopies which is when they take a water hose with a camera attached and go in the end of my dork, power spray the scar tissue, and procede all the way to my blatter where he filled me up so I'd have to urinate. Picture me with my pants around my ankles laying on a table...the nurse walking around doing nothing in particular....the room is very cold and I'm shriveled up like a stack of dimes...the doctor holding my unit as he feeds the tube in me...he's giving me a play by play, "I'm now at the point of the cyst...I'm now spraying the cyst..." He can feel me getting more and more uncomfortable and simply says, "why don't you just put your head to the side and pretend you're somewhere else!"

The first time I saw him he thought I had vd too. He stuck his hand up my ass and squeezed my prostate for about a minute. This was the most pain I ever felt in my life. When my eyes started to tear up he said "yea I know this is painful but it's only going to be another 30 seconds or so." Then, when a white-ish liquid started dripping out the end of my shriveled up pecker he wiped it on a slide and took it to the lab.

Now, when it only hurts me for about 12 hours instead of 3 days I feel pretty lucky.

EDIT - I forgot to mention I just turned 40 a few months ago too and I've been taking Flomax for 8 years!!!

Keep going. I'm almost finished.

 

[headlessdeadguy]

Yea - my problems started with taking assloads (pun intended) of sudafedrine. Also, I have a cyst in my urethra probably caused from taking a few in the nuts (I was a catcher for 11 years). So, I've had two cystoscopies which is when they take a water hose with a camera attached and go in the end of my dork, power spray the scar tissue, and procede all the way to my blatter where he filled me up so I'd have to urinate. Picture me with my pants around my ankles laying on a table...the nurse walking around doing nothing in particular....the room is very cold and I'm shriveled up like a stack of dimes...the doctor holding my unit as he feeds the tube in me...he's giving me a play by play, "I'm now at the point of the cyst...I'm now spraying the cyst..." He can feel me getting more and more uncomfortable and simply says, "why don't you just put your head to the side and pretend you're somewhere else!"

The first time I saw him he thought I had vd too. :LOL : He stuck his hand up my ass and squeezed my prostate for about a minute. This was the most pain I ever felt in my life. When my eyes started to tear up he said "yea I know this is painful but it's only going to be another 30 seconds or so." Then, when a white-ish liquid started dripping out the end of my shriveled up pecker he wiped it on a slide and took it to the lab.

Now, when it only hurts me for about 12 hours instead of 3 days I feel pretty lucky.

EDIT - I forgot to mention I just turned 40 a few months ago too and I've been taking Flomax for 8 years!!!

Keep going. I'm almost finished.

 

[Code001]

 

[lordriffenstein]

"Hi, my name is Dover, Ben Dover"



This thread is killer!

 

[White_Van]

Stop complaining, some guys pay good money for that.

 

[PeteLaramee]

Stop complaining, some guys pay good money for that.

Yea - but that should include a nice dinner too.