DanTravis62
Moderator
Moderator
I'm finally coming around, guys.
"Metallica does not get nearly enough credit for one of its most important contributions to modern music.
I’m talking about inventing Divorced Dad Metal.
Before 1996, heavy metal was mostly concerned with death, war, Satan, nuclear annihilation, fantasy creatures, and occasionally giant robots from space riding motorcycles shaped like dinosaurs (Painkiller rules).
Load is the sound of a 36 year old man standing in the driveway of a split level ranch house at 7:15 on a Saturday morning, shirtless, wearing cutoff jean shorts and white New Balance shoes, aggressively washing a Dodge Dakota while trying not to think about why Cheryl kept the dining room set.
This was revolutionary stuff. Metallica had spent the previous decade making music that sounded like civilization collapsing. Now they sounded like a guy who just bought a leather bracelet at Spencer’s. And somehow? It worked.
This is the era where James Hetfield stopped looking like a man who might shank you behind a liquor store and started looking like the assistant manager of a Harley dealership. The head hair got shorter. The facial hair got more elaborate. The shirts became increasingly likely to have flames on them. The entire band suddenly looked like four men who would absolutely tell you that their divorces were “actually pretty mutual” despite nobody asking. And the music followed.
“Until It Sleeps” is basically the national anthem of staring silently through the blinds after your ex wife’s new boyfriend drops the kids off. “King Nothing” sounds like something blasting from a garage while a man reorganizes the same Craftsman toolbox for the sixth time because he needs to “clear his head.” “Bleeding Me” is nine minutes of a guy insisting he’s doing fine. He is absolutely the fuck NOT doing fine.
Then came ReLoad, because one album of emotionally unavailable bar and grill metal wasn’t enough. ReLoad opens with “Fuel,” which may be the single greatest Divorced Dad Metal song ever recorded.
“GIMME FUEL, GIMME FIRE...”
There is no stopping it. “Fuel” is what happens when the phrase “the divorce is finalized” becomes a guitar riff. This song has probably caused more unnecessary burnouts in Applebee’s parking lots than any piece of recorded music in human history.
Then you get “The Memory Remains,” featuring Marianne Faithfull singing hauntingly in the background while Metallica pounds away like four men assembling a gazebo after drinking six Miller Lites. That is art. That is emotional complexity. That is a man staring at an old wedding photo before saying “fuck it” and ordering a Fleshlight online.
The real genius of Load and ReLoad is that Metallica accidentally discovered an entirely new demographic. They weren't making music for teenagers anymore. They were making music for men whose children were teenagers. Men with a red Pontiac Grand Prix GTP. Men who had recently started calling themselves “single again.” Men with one earring. Men who bought a Harley at age 41 despite having never previously expressed any interest in motorcycles. Men who described their new apartment as a “bachelor pad” even though it contained one recliner, a TV on a folding table, and three framed Dale Earnhardt posters. This aesthetic would eventually spread everywhere.
Nickelback. Godsmack. Staind. Theory of a Deadman. Five Finger Death Punch. Disturbed. Every radio station with a name like 103.7 THE BONE. All of them owe Metallica royalties. Metallica crawled so some guy named Blake could drive a lifted Silverado to Buffalo Wild Wings listening to “The Sickness", trying to duplicate David Draiman's mating call... OOH, WAH-AH-AH-AH!!!!
People complained that Load wasn’t metal enough. Wrong. It was simply metal for a different battlefield.
Not Normandy. Just family court.
This was metal about emotional damage, midlife reinvention, resentment, regret, combustible fluids, and owning at least one piece of furniture made entirely of black leather. That makes Load one of the most historically important albums of the 1990s.
Metallica had already conquered thrash. They had conquered mainstream metal. They had conquered stadium rock. So where could they possibly go next? The answer was obvious... Dave & Buster’s after the custody exchange. And ReLoad perfected the formula. Or at least continued it.
So the next time somebody mocks Metallica’s 1990s era, show some goddamned respect. Those albums walked into unexplored territory. Without Load and ReLoad, millions of middle aged men might have been forced to process their emotions normally. Instead, they got tribal tattoos, Oakley sunglasses, and a six disc CD changer containing Metallica, Creed, and three burned CDs labeled ROAD MIX. That is a cultural legacy."
"Metallica does not get nearly enough credit for one of its most important contributions to modern music.
I’m talking about inventing Divorced Dad Metal.
Before 1996, heavy metal was mostly concerned with death, war, Satan, nuclear annihilation, fantasy creatures, and occasionally giant robots from space riding motorcycles shaped like dinosaurs (Painkiller rules).
Load is the sound of a 36 year old man standing in the driveway of a split level ranch house at 7:15 on a Saturday morning, shirtless, wearing cutoff jean shorts and white New Balance shoes, aggressively washing a Dodge Dakota while trying not to think about why Cheryl kept the dining room set.
This was revolutionary stuff. Metallica had spent the previous decade making music that sounded like civilization collapsing. Now they sounded like a guy who just bought a leather bracelet at Spencer’s. And somehow? It worked.
This is the era where James Hetfield stopped looking like a man who might shank you behind a liquor store and started looking like the assistant manager of a Harley dealership. The head hair got shorter. The facial hair got more elaborate. The shirts became increasingly likely to have flames on them. The entire band suddenly looked like four men who would absolutely tell you that their divorces were “actually pretty mutual” despite nobody asking. And the music followed.
“Until It Sleeps” is basically the national anthem of staring silently through the blinds after your ex wife’s new boyfriend drops the kids off. “King Nothing” sounds like something blasting from a garage while a man reorganizes the same Craftsman toolbox for the sixth time because he needs to “clear his head.” “Bleeding Me” is nine minutes of a guy insisting he’s doing fine. He is absolutely the fuck NOT doing fine.
Then came ReLoad, because one album of emotionally unavailable bar and grill metal wasn’t enough. ReLoad opens with “Fuel,” which may be the single greatest Divorced Dad Metal song ever recorded.
“GIMME FUEL, GIMME FIRE...”
There is no stopping it. “Fuel” is what happens when the phrase “the divorce is finalized” becomes a guitar riff. This song has probably caused more unnecessary burnouts in Applebee’s parking lots than any piece of recorded music in human history.
Then you get “The Memory Remains,” featuring Marianne Faithfull singing hauntingly in the background while Metallica pounds away like four men assembling a gazebo after drinking six Miller Lites. That is art. That is emotional complexity. That is a man staring at an old wedding photo before saying “fuck it” and ordering a Fleshlight online.
The real genius of Load and ReLoad is that Metallica accidentally discovered an entirely new demographic. They weren't making music for teenagers anymore. They were making music for men whose children were teenagers. Men with a red Pontiac Grand Prix GTP. Men who had recently started calling themselves “single again.” Men with one earring. Men who bought a Harley at age 41 despite having never previously expressed any interest in motorcycles. Men who described their new apartment as a “bachelor pad” even though it contained one recliner, a TV on a folding table, and three framed Dale Earnhardt posters. This aesthetic would eventually spread everywhere.
Nickelback. Godsmack. Staind. Theory of a Deadman. Five Finger Death Punch. Disturbed. Every radio station with a name like 103.7 THE BONE. All of them owe Metallica royalties. Metallica crawled so some guy named Blake could drive a lifted Silverado to Buffalo Wild Wings listening to “The Sickness", trying to duplicate David Draiman's mating call... OOH, WAH-AH-AH-AH!!!!
People complained that Load wasn’t metal enough. Wrong. It was simply metal for a different battlefield.
Not Normandy. Just family court.
This was metal about emotional damage, midlife reinvention, resentment, regret, combustible fluids, and owning at least one piece of furniture made entirely of black leather. That makes Load one of the most historically important albums of the 1990s.
Metallica had already conquered thrash. They had conquered mainstream metal. They had conquered stadium rock. So where could they possibly go next? The answer was obvious... Dave & Buster’s after the custody exchange. And ReLoad perfected the formula. Or at least continued it.
So the next time somebody mocks Metallica’s 1990s era, show some goddamned respect. Those albums walked into unexplored territory. Without Load and ReLoad, millions of middle aged men might have been forced to process their emotions normally. Instead, they got tribal tattoos, Oakley sunglasses, and a six disc CD changer containing Metallica, Creed, and three burned CDs labeled ROAD MIX. That is a cultural legacy."
