My Bassist Bought a Queer Phaser

[BeZo]

I got a Greenhouse Effects Sonic Orb phaser on a whim because it gets good reviews on bass. I liked it on guitar, but it is amazing on bass. A lot of phasers fall short for bass, because of frequency range or loss of low end, but this one does not. I like it.

I let my bassist take it off my board and try it out at practice, and he loves it too. The very next morning, he bought one online. He got a limited edition version that is black with a rainbow colored graphic. I called him gay, we laughed, all is well.

It finally shows up, and he says it doesn't work through his practice rig. I got to look at it at rehearsal last night, and it seems the input jack is wonky. I got it to work, but it cuts out and barely works unless you wiggle the jack. I guess his stupid rainbow version is acting queen too.

He likely has the option to return it without question, but he is hesitant. I think he wants people to know he is an ally. I could probably fix it for him. We gotta see what the return policy is wherever he bought it.

What would you guys do?
Fix it and show off your pride?
Return it and get one that acts straight?
Ask for money off to do gender reassignment surgery on it?

 

[Devin]

Bet the input jack prolapsed

 

[Findthetone1]

Bet the input jack prolapsed

Technically, it's probably the output jack that somebody tried to use as an input jack...

 

[Devin]

Have your friend email the company and tell them that the jack prolapsed and requires medical intervention

 

[Exo-metal]

I would get a new bass player.

 

[BeZo]

When my Blackout Effectors Whetstone phaser was all noisey, Wayne told me about an internal trim pot to adjust the bias. I turned it up and it fixed the noise issue, but I lost some of the headroom. I was hoping that was the issue with his pedal.

Possibly someone set the bias knob too far to the left and I just needed to turn it to the right to straighten it out. Alas, when I looked under the hood, there was no pot to turn.

 

[rsm]

as long as it doesn't clash with his Malekko B:assmaster.

 

[griff10672]

I got a Greenhouse Effects Sonic Orb phaser on a whim because it gets good reviews on bass. I liked it on guitar, but it is amazing on bass. A lot of phasers fall short for bass, because of frequency range or loss of low end, but this one does not. I like it.

I let my bassist take it off my board and try it out at practice, and he loves it too. The very next morning, he bought one online. He got a limited edition version that is black with a rainbow colored graphic. I called him gay, we laughed, all is well.

It finally shows up, and he says it doesn't work through his practice rig. I got to look at it at rehearsal last night, and it seems the input jack is wonky. I got it to work, but it cuts out and barely works unless you wiggle the jack. I guess his stupid rainbow version is acting queen too.

He likely has the option to return it without question, but he is hesitant. I think he wants people to know he is an ally. I could probably fix it for him. We gotta see what the return policy is wherever he bought it.

What would you guys do?
Fix it and show off your pride?
Return it and get one that acts straight?
Ask for money off to do gender reassignment surgery on it?

I'd have Uncle Waynzo rehouse it a manly enclosure ..... and fix the jack while he's at it

 

[DanTravis62]

I would trade your bass player in for one without propaganda face

 

[Monkey Man]

Every bassist goes through a queer phase.

 

[thegame]

Every bassist goes through a queer phase.

Those are called 5 string players

 

[shredi knight]

Sounds like it belongs on this board:

 

[nightlight]

Send it back, get a new one. Is he afraid that he won't get another with a rainbow graphic? There are better ways to show support for people who are non-cisgender.

 

[Floyd Eye]

Every bassist goes through a queer phase.

Patently false Monkey.

 

[BeZo]

He gave it to me to fix after rehearsal the other day. I took it apart and gave it a good look. The connections and solder joints all look good, but the tabs on the jacks are brown. I'm pretty sure it's just a dirty jack.

So I get out my LPS and douch the whole thing out. Here I am with this rainbow pedal fucking the lubed up jack hole with a patch cable when tragedy strikes. The shaft on the mini toggle switch broke. I broke the fucking dingus in between the knobs!

Luckily, I had another mini toggle switch on hand. I replaced the switch and touched up all the solder joints while I was in there. They all looked good, but now they're all fat and shiny. I got it back together (carefully) and rage quit and went to bed.

I gotta text my bassist and tell him I broke the dingus off his gay phaser, but I surgically repaired it.