Giving Up After All These Years?

G

Gitfiddler

Well-known member
This may be a better topic for the off-topic board, but have any of you ever considered just giving up on your instrument or just leaving it behind?

I have been playing the guitar since 1987. I have not gigged since 1996. I have bought and sold a lot of guitars and gear over the years, and I am the best player I have ever been now. I have played guitar for many hours each day in recent months, and quite a bit, since the pandemic started. I am a much better player than I ever dreamed, and can play a lot of the stuff that I wanted to learn from my guitar heroes.

I do not anticipate ever being in a band again, and often question why I spend time trying to learn new things on the guitar, checking out guitar gear, sites, and following my heroes on Instagram. At the end of the day, I’m not sure I even enjoy playing, but I’ve just done it for so long. I am also starting to develop a muscle pain on the side of my neck due too shitty playing posture.

Recently, I have mentally stepped back to think about this stuff. I have no emotional attachment to any of the guitars I have, and could give them all up tomorrow. I am not sure I am even looking for inspiration. It is everywhere! I still like listening to music and appreciate great guitar playing, but I am finding that I just don’t care to play it.

just thinking out loud with this post, but have any of you found yourself in this situation?
 
Yes. You are not alone. I’ve been playing since ‘84. I became obsessive in ‘87. I did the G.I.T. thing in ‘89. Played 4-nighters - mostly covers sprinkled with originals - in the early 90s. Moved back to LA and did the ‘let’s get signed’ thing in the early 90s (at the WORST possible time…) I gave up in the mid 90s, went back to school, and have had a really good life since.

Had a lil’ project with a few really good musicians from back in the day and did an early VH thing before Ed passed and before VH ‘tribute’ bands were all the rage. We had a great time and got really positive feedback, but everyone was busy, then COVID hit, and it just fizzled.

I am stunned at the amount of really, really nice gear that I have now - compared to when I was actually trying to do this thing full time. I also wonder why I spend so much of my free time with a guitar across my lap when I really don’t ever see myself playing out again. It’s strange, it was just such an enormous part of my identify for such a long time - and during such a ‘formative’ time - that I really don’t know how I would ever be able to sell all the gear and not play anymore.

I have a very good friend and professional colleague who is an incredible artist - never ‘sold’ any of his work to speak of - but paints literally every day after work. His paintings are absolutely stunning. And SO personal - as far as what they represent from his life. I don’t dare equate my guitar playing to his paintings, but there is some crossover there. Having something that is purely creative and purely ‘artistic’ balances our lives against all the financial, stressful, bullshit that we necessarily have to deal with every day.

I say do it because you love the way it feels and sounds when your right hand syncs up with your left hand and the notes start to flow. Do it because you love that sense of affirmation when you nail that really challenging solo that you thought you’d never be able to play. Do it because you enjoy it.

P.S. There are people in my professional word who are 10 years younger than I am who look and act 10 years OLDER! I genuinely think love of rock and metal music has kept my outlook on life younger and looser and happier than it would ever be without it.
 
mooncobra said:
I would never even entertain the idea of quitting guitar or playing music. To me, it’s the greatest heights of fun. I love it. I love everything about it.
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Same here . I don't have the natural talent and never have that a lot of folks have even lots of them on RT . But I thoroughly have enjoyed playing , figuring things out and having fun . I'm over 60 and still enjoy all kinds of shows . My parents did the church choir and my mom and sister played piano . It's really been a way of life that I've never been bored with . I'll openly admit There's been times I didn 't play for long periods but I've always come back to it .
 
You don’t have to treat it like a business to want to be interested. Many studies have shown how much of your brain you use playing a musical instrument and how it benefits memory and cognitive skills. It keeps you mentally sharp. That alone has absolutely nothing to do with a business model out gigging.

For me I enjoy play king very sought after guitars and amps, but I also thoroughly enjoy the friendships it’s allowed me to make over the years.

You could also teach others if your skills are so inclined. Videos only take it so far and you are living the reasons to get lessons for posture and good technique which videos overlook.

Plus there’s the investment aspect - it’s way better than automotive hobbies on a minimal loss of investment if any at all.

Put the gear in a closet out of sight in an air conditioned/heated room covered away from dust. If you can go an entire year without wanting to play it or even think about touching it then sell it all and move on to something you do enjoy. Life’s way too damn short to sell yourself short in finding something you enjoy. For me it’s music. It’s tattooed on my back.
 
It sucks to not get recognition for something you spent so much of your life on..
Sometimes things in life turn out to be different than what you thought they were.
There are worse things to spend your time and money on.. You could have crippling Meth and Hooker problem..
That's life.. It's never exactly like you'd want it to be..
 
midnightlaundry said:
It sucks to not get recognition for something you spent so much of your life on..
Sometimes things in life turn out to be different than what you thought they were.
There are worse things to spend your time and money on.. You could have crippling Meth and Hooker problem..
That's life.. It's never exactly like you'd want it to be..
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If you only play guitar for recognition and not for the love of music then IMHO that’s a pretty shitty outlook.

Friendships are one thing, but to go for recognition and fame really means you have to network and treat it like a business. To literally be the best in playing and song writing.

One thing I’ve learned about music is that there is always going to be someone else that can play better than you do. It’s a fact of life - some people have devoted stupid time woodshedding and its a direct result of how bad someone wants to succeed. If fame is the reason you do that and not the love of music I really don’t see how anyone could get far and write killer riffs.
 
As a guitar teacher for a long time I’ve seen guy’s actually do this 2 or 3 times and just keep coming back to guitar . So I always tell people now to atleast keep one around . I’ve seen alot in overall . Guys have came back 5 or 6 years later. I guess my 2 cents is definitely keep one if you had to at the least
 
Just take breaks from it now and then. I started playing in ‘80. Played in original, cover, tribute bands. They were all fun at times. Not playing in anything now and may not again. Hard to say.
The most fun I have is playing and recording at home. Pretty much always has been. Maybe someone will hear it someday, I just enjoy the whole process.

When I need a break I head to the garage and work on my race car or go to the track for a day here and there.

We have to do something with our time while we are here…
 
No, never. Not after all the years into it and the inspiration I get from RT. It may not come easy sometimes, it is hard to play well. Not everyone can do it but when it happens it's worth it.
 
glpg80 said:
If you only play guitar for recognition and not for the love of music then IMHO that’s a pretty shitty outlook.

Friendships are one thing, but to go for recognition and fame really means you have to network and treat it like a business. To literally be the best in playing and song writing.

One thing I’ve learned about music is that there is always going to be someone else that can play better than you do. It’s a fact of life - some people have devoted stupid time woodshedding and its a direct result of how bad someone wants to succeed. If fame is the reason you do that and not the love of music I really don’t see how anyone could get far and write killer riffs.
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There is a friend of mine that is just like this. He only played for the attention and to “make” it. He has “retired” or “given up” multiple times. Sells off everything and doesn’t even think about music. I could never wrap my head around that thinking…you either love music for the music or you don’t.
 
I’ll be 68 next month! Zero desire to play out. I’m buying guitars left and right. Love learning those riffs and songs from the 70’s and 80’s. Have no amps, using modeler, headphones. Love it.
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At this point I've been playing guitar for about 70% of my life. It makes me happy, plain and simple. Sitting down and playing just about always makes me smile at least, and at most, it puts me into some kind of self actualizing flow state where the rest of the world disappears and hours can pass without me even realizing it.

I've been in a handful of bands and collaborative projects I enjoyed but as of now I have zero desire to play out live or anything like that. I just like playing, chasing tone, and recording ideas for my own personal well being. All that stuff just makes me happy, or sometimes not so much happy as in excited and exuberant, but rather it leaves me satisfied with having achieved something I set out to accomplish or discover, which is just as fulfilling. Achieving goals in this area of my life inspires me in ways that sometimes even spill over into other areas of my life including keeping my self confidence high, to other areas like how solving problems with my instrument helps how I approach troubleshooting other kinds of problems like ones that come up at home or at my job, all kinds of stuff.

Playing electric guitar is one of those endeavors that covers so much ground, too. First there's the act of simply playing the thing, getting the notes out in an expressive way. You can spend a lifetime on your playing and always find areas to improve. And there’s endless other players to learn about and from which to draw inspiration. Then there's the gear/tech aspect of it. Learning how to play is one thing, but learning about tone and how to get it is entirely another area that scratches a totally different itch in the brain. And along with learning about tone, there's an entire history of gear out there to learn about with who made what, where they got the idea, how they eventually arrived at success, and what that lead to. And then there's playing with other people, from playing locked-in setlists to improvising, then there's doing that in a just-friends environment all the way to to playing in front of huge groups of people. And after that, there's recording, which is another whole universe on its own. All of these things require entire skillsets to master. There is an effectively endless amount of cool stuff to learn about and do here.

I can't even conceptualize just putting it down forever. That seems as absurd to me as deciding I'll never, I don't know, get dressed again or drive a car again or watch a movie again. At this point playing guitar feels almost like part of the core of who I am. I can't see myself ever putting it down unless I became physically unable to play or if some unlikely, ultra-traumatic thing happens to me specifically related to guitar lol.

If the only reason a person picks up a guitar in the first place was to be in a band with buddies or hoping to get famous or to get laid or whatever, then yeah I could see putting it down eventually. But if it makes you happy at all, then there's almost zero reason to just give up on it for good. Even if you only decide to keep a Squier strat and Roland cube or something around and only play it to give your hands something to do while you think about other stuff, you can keep it in your life in some way for very, very little money or space requirements if you need.
 
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Started around the same time George did; back in 1980. Wore records out trying to learn by ear. First band at 18; played out for a couple years then went in the military for a time. Out in 92 then played in cover bands up till 2017 when I turned 50. Funny, I hardly cared about my gear for most of my playing out days but when I found Rig Talk game over. Just played the same rig for years until I found this place lol. I've had more fun trying different rigs out, which made me enjoy it all the more. I play more now (nearly every day) then when I still played out. I'm 56 now and still enjoy it; still have a few things I'd like to try but they are super rare.....
Some days I don't feel like it but usually force myself to, and am happy I did. If I were you, OP I'd just take a break for a bit and keep your gear for the time being. You may miss it sooner than you think.
 
I feel this.

I'm 53 and have been so lucky to have been in bands since I was 16. If I wasn't making music with my best friends at this point, I think I would ditch it.

Guitar is a hateful mistress.
 
I’ve taken some breaks here and there, but never completely stopped playing. I played very little in the mid 1990’s when I was chasing girls, etc, 🤣 I got back into it in the late 1990’s and kept it up ever since. After Covid hit I was playing a lot and when 2021 rolled around I was playing a bit less than usual. Still would play, but not every day. A few months ago I really got back into play and blew past a playing plateau. So now playing is really fun… so much so I’ve been learning lots of new stuff. I will NEVER play out again. I have no desire to load and unload gear at 2-3am. I play for fun and enjoyment. I don’t play or jam with anyone either. Just alone in my basement 🤣
 
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