I might die today, read carefully

[eco70777]

I am stoked.
I am waiting for a 101b amp.
I stayed at home just to wait for it and then, boom, when i got out of bed i found wifey in the kitchen cooking because tonight someone is coming over for dinner.
So she does not know i bought another amp.

I want here to leave. as i am writing this she is still here

If the FedEx guy gets here while she or the guests are here i am truly dead.

I decided to buy because the other day i told here, look honey, a XTC for a good price, and she said it was nice, me in a douchebag move translated it to: BUY IT HONEY< OH LORD OF THIS HOME.

I am afraid!!!!!

Will give updates!!!! If i am still alive tonight.

 

[lessthanone]

Lol, this made my day.

 

[chunktone]

 

[Crunchtime]

I've had the same thing happen to me. Family is visiting and new guitar arrives and my wife is looking pissed and sarcastically says," Look, a big box for John. I wonder what that could be?"

 

[Drkorey]

I learned my lesson, for the last 2 guitars and amps I hold them at the UPS/Fedex/mailbox store, then go and pick them up when she is not around.
Then I slowly introduce them into the living room, etc.
Sometimes she wonders if it is a new one and I'll say "no, I got this a long time ago remember?"
I've had so much stuff come through that I an get away with that most of the time.

 

[Racerxrated]

My last relationship ended in part due to my addiction to gear. No shit. Even if I made a little money......and yes I picked them all up at UPS. But then she was expecting a package and ups said there was a permanent 'hold at location' for our address, which I never approved. I would just contact ups and change each delivery. So I was busted. My new girl's dad still gigs at 64yrs old, so she's much more supportive with gear/gigging. She gets it.

 

[eco70777]

she is still here!!!

It is her fault, why wasn't i told people were coming in tonight?
Why doesn't she leave?????

 

[Racerxrated]

Good luck. Seriously....

 

[Rayneman]

You could try the following:

1. Confiscate a necessary ingredient for dinner. She will have to leave to get more.

2. Get in your car and wait down the street for any FedEx truck that arrives. Flag down truck, check for amp, present ID, take control of amp.

3. When Fedex pulls up...light small kitchen fire to distract wife. Run outside before driver rings bell, take control of amp.

4. Claim trade, taking delivery of amp for buddy who isn't home, etc...she may simply forget and/or not be able to ID new amp among other amps.

5. Use my method and announce "HE WHO MAKES THE GOLD MAKES THE RULES. I SHALL HAVE A NEW AMP TODAY, TODAY IS NEW AMP DAY."

6. After using #5, use my method of escape and run screaming down into the basement and hide behind the bar.

 

[eco70777]

You could try the following:

1. Confiscate a necessary ingredient for dinner. She will have to leave to get more.

2. Get in your car and wait down the street for any FedEx truck that arrives. Flag down truck, check for amp, present ID, take control of amp.

3. When Fedex pulls up...light small kitchen fire to distract wife. Run outside before driver rings bell, take control of amp.

4. Claim trade, taking delivery of amp for buddy who isn't home, etc...she may simply forget and/or not be able to ID new amp among other amps.

5. Use my method and announce "HE WHO MAKES THE GOLD MAKES THE RULES. I SHALL HAVE A NEW AMP TODAY, TODAY IS NEW AMP DAY."

6. After using #5, use my method of escape and run screaming down into the basement and hide behind the bar.

i tried number five and got kicked butted.
Then while she was on top of me trying to mold me a new nose i manage to scream i was just lying.
A client called and she had to leave.

Thank you for number 5

 

[evhfan]

I learned my lesson, for the last 2 guitars and amps I hold them at the UPS/Fedex/mailbox store, then go and pick them up when she is not around.
Then I slowly introduce them into the living room, etc.
Sometimes she wonders if it is a new one and I'll say "no, I got this a long time ago remember?"
I've had so much stuff come through that I an get away with that most of the time.

a) this ^^^^^^

b) most entertaining thread so far!

 

[RJF]

Are you the bread winner? Yes? Then lay down the F ing law. I hate these threads.

 

[Rayneman]

You could try the following:

1. Confiscate a necessary ingredient for dinner. She will have to leave to get more.

2. Get in your car and wait down the street for any FedEx truck that arrives. Flag down truck, check for amp, present ID, take control of amp.

3. When Fedex pulls up...light small kitchen fire to distract wife. Run outside before driver rings bell, take control of amp.

4. Claim trade, taking delivery of amp for buddy who isn't home, etc...she may simply forget and/or not be able to ID new amp among other amps.

5. Use my method and announce "HE WHO MAKES THE GOLD MAKES THE RULES. I SHALL HAVE A NEW AMP TODAY, TODAY IS NEW AMP DAY."

6. After using #5, use my method of escape and run screaming down into the basement and hide behind the bar.

i tried number five and got kicked butted.
Then while she was on top of me trying to mold me a new nose i manage to scream i was just laughing.
A client called and she had to leave.

Thank you for number 5

You cannot do #5 without being prepared for #6!!!!

 

[Stumplegriltskin]

Keep the fucking pimp hand strong fellas.

 

[crankyrayhanky]

"Oh, that must be my box of guitar parts that I ordered"

 

[PBGas]

Well.....some times you gots to take your licks. This is one of those times. Man up and deal with your good choice!
But....in the end, you will still have the XTC so all good!
Thankfully, my wife doesn't bother me about these things.

and....send the guests packing so you can crank it!

 

[eco70777]

Well.....some times you gots to take your licks. This is one of those times. Man up and deal with your good choice!
But....in the end, you will still have the XTC so all good!
Thankfully, my wife doesn't bother me about these things.

and....send the guests packing so you can crank it!

 

[Webb]

It's rare my wife complains about the endless packages I have coming to the house, but on the odd chance she does, I just tell her I got it in a trade. I have so much gear she is none the wiser.

 

[James_E]

I once heard something like the following:

Guy 1: I want to buy XXX but the wife says no.
Guy 2: What would happen if you bought it?
Guy 1: She'd be so pissed.
Guy 2: And then what
Guy 1: Big fight, I'll be in the doghouse for a week or two.
Guy 2: After that week or two will you still have XXX?
Guy 1: Yes
Guy 2: ... and the problem is?

 

[Shawn Lutz]

Why are you married to someone who controls you. This kind of shit is a pet peeve of mine. Guys hiding guitars/amps gear from wives, lying about costs etc it is sad...ya'll married the wrong woman or just enjoy handing in the nutsack and being pussy whipped. And then think it funny posting about how whipped you are. Quit buying shit and save money for a divorce attorney as it sounds like you'll need in the not too distant future. If you lie about simple shit like gear what else are you dishonest about? Honesty is the best policy in all things.

Some folks need a mother figure to tell em what they can and cant do...I don't get why anyone would want to be in a relationship like that myself.

I've been married to the same woman for 23 years...she never tells me what I can or can't do. I have an assload of expensive gear and if she asks the cost I tell her the truth. I don't ask her if I can buy anything I just buy it and ask her if she can be home when it will be delivered so she can sign for it. Then again I a responsible adult that puts family first before myself..I don't miss the mortgage or buy gear I can't afford to pay cash for or if something else is a priority for us.