Devin
Well-known member
Man me and a couple of my buddies used to prank call Musician's Friend all the fucking time in the late 90's/early 2000's
Wish I had some of those recorded
Mesa Mark V:25 Holiday Giveaway!!!
- Thread starter Tone Monster
- Start date
Man me and a couple of my buddies used to prank call Musician's Friend all the fucking time in the late 90's/early 2000's
Wish I had some of those recorded
shredi knight
Well-known member
So, I came across this really disgusting adult movie the other day. It was about this guy who had a diarrhea fetish. It was called....
"Don't Do Me A Solid"
"Don't Do Me A Solid"
All of this is completely true. Not a joke but possibly a funny story.
I grew up in Wilkes County North Carolina and one of my favorite pastimes was canoeing in the mountains specifically on the New River in Ashe County. So like all misguided youth on an eight hour canoeing trip we had to have basic essentials. Being the studious young men we where, we thought of everything which basically consisted of fishing rods, bait, beer, and some cheese crackers. About halfway through the trip and mostly through the beer we decided to stop at this one deep swimming hole and finish off the beer and crackers while taking a break for an hour or so and enjoying some swimming. I don't know if it was the beer, the cheese crackers or all the physical motion from swimming and jumping, but one of the guys on the trip named Danny decided he absolutely had to take a shit. Now, we are not near any type of cover, we have no toilet paper or nothing he can used as a substitute. The direness of the situation seemed obvious and after we all discussed it for a good bit we decided the best course of action would be for Danny to wade out into the river about half way, squat down facing the current, spread his cheeks and pray for the best. So once the river was clear of all coming and going people Danny preceded to do just that. Halfway through this Hail-Mary of a bowel movement we start hearing him laugh because he said he saw a huge log break off and start rolling down the river. About this time around the bend in the river came what had to be a frat and sorority house from Appalachian state university on an outing. Danny was stuck, not quite finished with his business he remained frozen in the river trying not to panic, or bust out laughing. Everyone was very polite as they passed by us and was talking and everything went smoothly. No one seemed to notice what was taking place, or the fact that we where all about to die from trying to hold back our laughter. As the group passed us and got roughly about 50 yards down the river all of a sudden we heard girls screaming and guys asking wtf. We all busted out laughing as we heard one of the girls scream "Oh my god is that a turd?" I have never laughed so hard in my life, and still look back on this and crack up. Still a kid at heart laughing a poop jokes I guess.
I grew up in Wilkes County North Carolina and one of my favorite pastimes was canoeing in the mountains specifically on the New River in Ashe County. So like all misguided youth on an eight hour canoeing trip we had to have basic essentials. Being the studious young men we where, we thought of everything which basically consisted of fishing rods, bait, beer, and some cheese crackers. About halfway through the trip and mostly through the beer we decided to stop at this one deep swimming hole and finish off the beer and crackers while taking a break for an hour or so and enjoying some swimming. I don't know if it was the beer, the cheese crackers or all the physical motion from swimming and jumping, but one of the guys on the trip named Danny decided he absolutely had to take a shit. Now, we are not near any type of cover, we have no toilet paper or nothing he can used as a substitute. The direness of the situation seemed obvious and after we all discussed it for a good bit we decided the best course of action would be for Danny to wade out into the river about half way, squat down facing the current, spread his cheeks and pray for the best. So once the river was clear of all coming and going people Danny preceded to do just that. Halfway through this Hail-Mary of a bowel movement we start hearing him laugh because he said he saw a huge log break off and start rolling down the river. About this time around the bend in the river came what had to be a frat and sorority house from Appalachian state university on an outing. Danny was stuck, not quite finished with his business he remained frozen in the river trying not to panic, or bust out laughing. Everyone was very polite as they passed by us and was talking and everything went smoothly. No one seemed to notice what was taking place, or the fact that we where all about to die from trying to hold back our laughter. As the group passed us and got roughly about 50 yards down the river all of a sudden we heard girls screaming and guys asking wtf. We all busted out laughing as we heard one of the girls scream "Oh my god is that a turd?" I have never laughed so hard in my life, and still look back on this and crack up. Still a kid at heart laughing a poop jokes I guess.
Mailman1971
Moderator
Hey all I did was watch.
psychodave
Well-known member
I find this meme funny with all of the Covid heart issues talk. Now that kids can take the vax…
Gibsonchild
Active member
I went to my dentist a couple weeks ago because I was having severe tooth pain issues. She did the standard work up… took a couple x-rays and then proceeds with the usual poking and prodding around.
After a just a few seconds of digging around in my mouth, she lets out an exasperated sigh and says “You need to stop masturbating so much”. I asked her why, and she says, “Because I’m trying to examine you”.
After a just a few seconds of digging around in my mouth, she lets out an exasperated sigh and says “You need to stop masturbating so much”. I asked her why, and she says, “Because I’m trying to examine you”.
hstlaurent
Member
It was Dan the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, which she closed behind him, and took him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a giant breakfast with eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry pancakes, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar coin on the table. “All this was just too wonderful for words,” he said. “But what’s the dollar for?”
“Well,” she said. “Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, ‘Screw him. Give him a dollar.’ The breakfast was my idea.”
At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, which she closed behind him, and took him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a giant breakfast with eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry pancakes, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar coin on the table. “All this was just too wonderful for words,” he said. “But what’s the dollar for?”
“Well,” she said. “Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, ‘Screw him. Give him a dollar.’ The breakfast was my idea.”
Bash_Man
Well-known member
A guy goes to a foreign country for work and the night before his meeting he gets a hooker.
He goes to get it on with her and he's having the time of his life while she's screaming "fugifu.. fugifu.. fugifu".. and he's thinking, oh yeah I am giving her the time of her life.
Next day he goes to his meeting at a golf course.. hits the ball and he scores a hole in one.. he yells "FUGIFU"... His meeting partner turns around says "No, that's the right hole"
He goes to get it on with her and he's having the time of his life while she's screaming "fugifu.. fugifu.. fugifu".. and he's thinking, oh yeah I am giving her the time of her life.
Next day he goes to his meeting at a golf course.. hits the ball and he scores a hole in one.. he yells "FUGIFU"... His meeting partner turns around says "No, that's the right hole"
psychodave
Well-known member
Markedman
Well-known member
Barbara Walters was interviewing an Indian Chief and asked why he had many feathers while the braves had very few. The Chief told her that he had one feather for every squaw he had screwed, to which she exclaimed, "how hostile", the chief said, "hostile, doggy-style, it doesn't matter." Barbara then shouted, "Oh dear" to which the Chief replied, "no fuck 'em deer, ass too high, run too fast."
bubbastain
Well-known member
All I have is a pretty funny picture of my dog. Went playing in the snow for a few minutes and grew snowball dingleberries all over.
Emg77
Well-known member
Well this is quite embarrassing. But I can certainly laugh at it now!
This is more of a PSA!!
I came across an article onetime on the subject of semen retention. It talked about how doing this practice would reinvigorate you sex life and make you feel young again!
I decided, hey let's give a try! So, I researched the subject to discover just how to implement this technique.
To my surprise, it was quite an involved process. There was a lot of prep work. I guess you could say, practice for the big game. The big game being the introduction of your partner into mix.
After a couple days of practice I felt like I was ready to go for it! So that night I followed the sequence with my wife. The process is to have sex And just at the point of climax you pull out and squeeze and press you fingers in a certain spot and basically have mini orgasms internally. Here we are going at it and the time presents itself, I pull out and my wife looks back at me wondering what and the hell is wrong with me! Meanwhile I'm in some odd posture, shaking like a leaf on a tree trying with all my might to hold back the explosion that has been so easily allowed for many years previous. I said don't worry baby, I'm trying something new and it's going to rock your world! She was game. I did this process a couple more times that night.
Another part of the process after the action is to use your will to circulate the retained energy around and through your entire body.
This went on for few nights and I must admit things were going great. The wife was certainly enjoying it and I did feel more invigorated.
A couple of nights later we decided to go out of town for the night. We went to dinner and had some drinks and then retired to our hotel room. We then engaged in the act of love. It was outstanding!
Until.........
It was about 2am and i woke up to a horrid stench and the feeling of moisture on the bed. It took me a moment to gather myself and realize what I was experiencing. To my shock I had SHIT the bed!! I'm not talking about a little squirt! It was full on emptying of the ass! It looked like a shit bomb had went off!! I was mortified! I couldn't believe it. I didn't even feel it happen. I woke my wife up and said, "babe, I just shit the bed!" She was unphased, like no big deal. I was like " BABE, I JUST SHIT THE BED!!!!" I ripped the sheets of the bed. Here it is now 2:15am and I'm hunched over the hotel bathtub, scrubbing shit out of the sheets!
I guess all that retained tension needed to be released somewhere as I wasn't allowing it to move through its normal path! IT FOUND IT'S OWN PATH!!!
I didn't realize that the promise of youth using this practice, actually meant reverting back to a new born baby shitting itself! Lesson learned.
Needless to say, I immediately stopped this practice!
This is more of a PSA!!
I came across an article onetime on the subject of semen retention. It talked about how doing this practice would reinvigorate you sex life and make you feel young again!
I decided, hey let's give a try! So, I researched the subject to discover just how to implement this technique.
To my surprise, it was quite an involved process. There was a lot of prep work. I guess you could say, practice for the big game. The big game being the introduction of your partner into mix.
After a couple days of practice I felt like I was ready to go for it! So that night I followed the sequence with my wife. The process is to have sex And just at the point of climax you pull out and squeeze and press you fingers in a certain spot and basically have mini orgasms internally. Here we are going at it and the time presents itself, I pull out and my wife looks back at me wondering what and the hell is wrong with me! Meanwhile I'm in some odd posture, shaking like a leaf on a tree trying with all my might to hold back the explosion that has been so easily allowed for many years previous. I said don't worry baby, I'm trying something new and it's going to rock your world! She was game. I did this process a couple more times that night.
Another part of the process after the action is to use your will to circulate the retained energy around and through your entire body.
This went on for few nights and I must admit things were going great. The wife was certainly enjoying it and I did feel more invigorated.
A couple of nights later we decided to go out of town for the night. We went to dinner and had some drinks and then retired to our hotel room. We then engaged in the act of love. It was outstanding!
Until.........
It was about 2am and i woke up to a horrid stench and the feeling of moisture on the bed. It took me a moment to gather myself and realize what I was experiencing. To my shock I had SHIT the bed!! I'm not talking about a little squirt! It was full on emptying of the ass! It looked like a shit bomb had went off!! I was mortified! I couldn't believe it. I didn't even feel it happen. I woke my wife up and said, "babe, I just shit the bed!" She was unphased, like no big deal. I was like " BABE, I JUST SHIT THE BED!!!!" I ripped the sheets of the bed. Here it is now 2:15am and I'm hunched over the hotel bathtub, scrubbing shit out of the sheets!
I guess all that retained tension needed to be released somewhere as I wasn't allowing it to move through its normal path! IT FOUND IT'S OWN PATH!!!
I didn't realize that the promise of youth using this practice, actually meant reverting back to a new born baby shitting itself! Lesson learned.
Needless to say, I immediately stopped this practice!
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Teacher asks all her kids how they pray. One by one the kids stand, sit, or kneel and explain how they pray. Tommy gets his turn and lies flat on his back with both legs spread wide and up in the air.
Tommy, the teacher asks, what are you doing?
Well, the other night I peeked in the bedroom and saw mommy lying like this and screaming, "Oh God! I'm coming!!", but luckily my dad was on top and wouldn't let her go!
Tommy, the teacher asks, what are you doing?
Well, the other night I peeked in the bedroom and saw mommy lying like this and screaming, "Oh God! I'm coming!!", but luckily my dad was on top and wouldn't let her go!
Webb
Active member
I was at Guitar Center with my girlfriend when she got pissed I wanted to buy a new amp. We got into a heated argument before she started throwing amps onto the floor right in the middle of the store.
The police were called and she was arrested. During her court appearance, the judge asked her “first offender?”. To which my hot blonde girlfriend responded, “no sir, first a Mesa, then a Fender.” She is hot though...
The police were called and she was arrested. During her court appearance, the judge asked her “first offender?”. To which my hot blonde girlfriend responded, “no sir, first a Mesa, then a Fender.” She is hot though...
shredi knight
Well-known member
So, I saw this adult movie the other night. It was about the world's most inexpensive prostitute. It was called....
"In For A Penny, In For A Pounding"
"In For A Penny, In For A Pounding"
Mailman1971
Moderator
Guys wife is going into labor. Screaming in pain.
Get to the hospital ‘doctor the pain is unbearable!!’ Doctor -‘well we got a new procedure you can transfer some the pain. To the father by pushing this button.’
She pushes it ‘that’s a little better but still killing me’
Husband - ‘ I barely felt anything’
Wife -‘ need more relief’. Pushes the button till all the pain is gone
Husband ‘ not a ounce of pain. Not sure what you were complaining about?’
They have the baby.
Go home.
Mail man is dead on the porch.
Get to the hospital ‘doctor the pain is unbearable!!’ Doctor -‘well we got a new procedure you can transfer some the pain. To the father by pushing this button.’
She pushes it ‘that’s a little better but still killing me’
Husband - ‘ I barely felt anything’
Wife -‘ need more relief’. Pushes the button till all the pain is gone
Husband ‘ not a ounce of pain. Not sure what you were complaining about?’
They have the baby.
Go home.
Mail man is dead on the porch.