What’s your retirement number?

[CrazyNutz]

You pay child support to your ex but your kids live with you?!

If you've never gone through the ringer with the court shit you don't know, sometimes it not fucking worth it, just to keep the peace.

Basically when he goes after her, the battle starts all over, she'll pull the kids back. Been there. smart to leave it alone.

 

[Bad Brain]

If you've never gone through the ringer with the court shit you don't know, sometimes it not fucking worth it, just to keep the peace.

Basically when he goes after her, the battle starts, she'll pull the kids back. Been there. smart to leave it alone.

Dang. Sorry to hear.

 

[CrazyNutz]

Dang. Sorry to hear.

Women are mean, and soulless

I'm all good, and my kids all grown, way past all this stuff.

But yeah, it sounds crazy, but it's best to not stir this stuff up especially if the kids are almost 18.

She could get the kids back (which would suck for a father that finally has his kids), and somehow they would find more fucking money she could get.

 

[rsm]

You pay child support to your ex but your kids live with you?!

yes. clearly you haven't been through family court in the USA?

 

[rsm]

If you've never gone through the ringer with the court shit you don't know, sometimes it not fucking worth it, just to keep the peace.

Basically when he goes after her, the battle starts all over, she'll pull the kids back. Been there. smart to leave it alone.

exactly, high probability I will lose more and pay more if I took my ex-wife to court. Lost and paid enough the first time through the process.

 

[DanishDon]

exactly, high probability I will lose more and pay more if I took my ex-wife to court. Lost and paid enough the first time through the process.

Long shot but .... only asking dude .... no offence .... is your .... wife's ... with all due respect ..... new husband ....... a Muslim by any chance?

 

[Bad Brain]

yes. clearly you haven't been through family court in the USA?

Are they all bad, or state dependent?

 

[CrazyNutz]

Are they all bad, or state dependent?

It's all the same. Basically they look at whats best for the children, and if that means the father has to break his back to support himself, and the kids/mother then they don't give a shit.

Usually the mother will just be getting a ton of free money, while she has a new dude taking care of her, and providing, etc..

All while the father only realistically gets to see his kids a few times a month.

Now that being said, I've seen the tables turned, If a woman has a great job, and works/provides like a man. I've totally seen it the other way around. Few, and far between but I've seen it. LOL

 

[DanishDon]

It's all the same. Basically they look at whats best for the children, and if that means the father has to break his back to support himself, and the kids/mother then they don't give a shit.

Usually the mother will just be getting a ton of free money, while she has a new dude taking care of her, and providing, etc..

All while the father only realistically gets to see his kids a few times a month.

Now that being said, I've seen the tables turned, If a woman has a great job, and works/provides like a man. I've totally seen it the other way around. Few, and far between but I've seen it. LOL

Does this apply if ex-wife gets re-married?

 

[rsm]

Are they all bad, or state dependent?

IDK, but I think in general they all favor the mother; some horror stories of women who are awarded custody of their kids, getting involved with drugs and prostitution, which eventually leads to their kids being abused.

I can only speak from my own experience...

I did fight for full shared custody without conditions and got it; however, the state is required by law to assign one parent the primary...so if we ever disagreed on a matter for our kids, her choice/decisions is supported over mine by state law.

When we divorced, my ex was a stay at home mom for many years, there's a legal concept of accustomed lifestyle - I forget the real term - that requires the parent with primary custody to provide the same lifestyle for the children, and by extension the primary custody parent. Guess who has to pay for it? In my case, me. In general, stay at home moms get more in divorce since they have no income of their own.

The court decided that half my income at the time would go to alimony and child support, and that the combined amount would continue for 4 years after my youngest turned 18 after which time both would end. According to the law, in most cases here, child support ends on the child's 18th birthday. My family court judge thought different, and added 4 more years of child support because she could.

Even after my ex-wife went back to work (she's an attorney FWIW, corporate attorney) for me to go back to family court and update things in my favor, I was advised that there was a high probability I would lose more and have to pay more. It would likely cost me a small fortune in attorney fees if she decided to contest it....and BTW, I had to pay her attorney fees for the divorce too.

Welcome to the matriarchy!

 

[CrazyNutz]

Does this apply if ex-wife gets re-married?

For child support yes. Not sure about alimony, alimony is much less a thing here in TX. I think it's something that's pre-negotiated.

But child support is on going until 18

 

[DanishDon]

For child support yes. Not sure about alimony, alimony is much less a thing here in TX. I think it's something that's pre-negotiated.

But child support is on going until 18

Alimony makes no sense nowadays ...

 

[thegame]

I just want to go to heaven when I die.

Please take a seat. I've got some bad news for you. In fact, it's really, really bad:

 

[CrazyNutz]

Alimony makes no sense nowadays ...

Yeah, would seem so, with more women working, etc..

I think still at some point the man makes enough to provide everything, and the wife just takes care of the home duties.
That's what it's like at my house.

We started with her working for a long time, but eventually she didn't need to

I've often wondered if we did split, WTH would she do? ?‍

 

[rsm]

For child support yes. Not sure about alimony, alimony is much less a thing here in TX. I think it's something that's pre-negotiated.

But child support is on going until 18

Here, as in my case, judges can decide differently. They can't end child support early, but they can extend it if they choose, like my family court judge did to me.

 

[Music&Chaos]

If you're making $100K+ in the USA and can't save/invest, you're living above your means. You need to sacrifice now for your future, time and compounding your biggest assets.

Not going into what I had to do to get where I am, but I will say I did it myself, even after losing half my wealth, house and assets in divorce, paying half my income in alimony and child support for several years with several more to go, even though my kids live with me by their own choice.

As far as food goes, I've been ready for years, living in a hurricane and flood zone: food, water, fuel, etc. I have at least 6 months supplies of all.

For both retirement savings and planning for famine:

"Failing to plan is planning to fail." - Benjamin Franklin

I agree for the most part with that. I personally have a home that I built by hand and paid for and have been scraping by for years. If you look at the housing market now, there is a reason No One is buying. People pulling 90k /yr after taxes and medical etc will bring home around 4800/mo. For many people, feeding a normal family is costing $1200/mo, not including gas hikes and all sorts of things. The reason I listed a high wage is just that, everyone would assume that this person could live however they want but just adding in groceries and a house not for the average family comes to 2400/mo. Think of that. What about electric bills, etc on top of that? Easily hitting a cost of $3400/month for most people with two vehicles and such.

I don't have that cost but it is wild that is the average.

Inflation is real. We see there has been approximately 30% inflation on certain items within the past 10 years. I plan for retirement by saving what I can but social security is basically investing in nothing. I also try to prepare food wise as a generality but there have been warnings about food production issues hitting us. Who knows in reality but never hurts to try to save what you can if you can!!

 

[VonBonfire]

Please take a seat. I've got some bad news for you. In fact, it's really, really bad:

Why don't you try telling me all about it.

 

[dcburn]

Knowing I can retire now if I wanted is huge peace of mind.

Great place to be!

Its almost as good as "fuck you" money...

 

[rsm]

Great place to be!

Its almost as good as "fuck you" money...

working on the FU money now. I want 2x / 3x what I have now.

There are retirement calculators that work really well, to test and compare different scenarios; if used with conservative values, it can be very useful for retirement planning.

 

[thegame]

Why don't you try telling me all about it.

The good news is that you're already there.