AXE FX III Give away!!!

I'm not sure I'm deserving of it but I can plead my case. But first, I feel a little backround about me might help.
I was born into an unfortunate life. My mother was a three armed gypsy piano player that could never settle down. I never knew my father as he was already in federal prison serving time for making counterfeit condoms. Mom moved from town to town nonstop and when I was 5 she sold me to Carnies as an exhibition target shooter. I stayed there until I was 12 at which time I was recruited by an unnamed government to train assassin gnomes for black ops. By the time I was in my twenties, the carnage that had resulted from my training program took it's toll on me and I resigned and proceeded to spend years in therapy for it.
Luckily, I have come out on the other side as a somewhat normal person (except for Macho Grande....You NEVER get over Macho Grande) and I feel it's time for me to give back.
You see, it has long been my dream to open a music studio and give lessons to underprivileged inner city turtles to keep them off the streets and out of a horrible life of violence.
And the AXE FX III would really help that dream become a reality.
Hope you keep me in consideration.
Thanks for listening.
 
Hi yea I Def got screwed by sc@meron ! Man it would sure be amazing to try one , especially for gigging.

Such a nice thing of you to do , there is still hope for humanity ! Your inspiring me to do something good for someone now to ...
 
Hello Tone Monster, my Friend of Bestness!

I am Nigerian Prince and I am glad to have found you, my long lost brother! Did you know that our Royal Uncle of Highest Royalty has experienced recent death process! And yet, we are in his Will and will be receiving the sum total of 3,200,000,000,000,000 US currency from his estate to split between us!

BUT!

I need you to prove your identity to me first by sending me one (1) Fractal Audio Axe-FX III guitar musical sound machine! However do not distress! I will return it promptly after certification, definitely!

Please, esteemed fellow brother, message me in the Direct capacity for further instructs!
 
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