Opinion: It’s better to find older dudes to form bands with than younger guys

BigGuitars

BigGuitars

Active member
I recently replied to this ad by a 20 yeard-old who turned me away because I’m 30. He said “that’s too much of an age gap bro”. His ad stated that he was a “BADASS LEAD GUITARIST”.

In my follow up reply I told him that that’s a very arrogant attitude, and that 30 is YOUNG! He fancies himself a “badass” and won’t work with anyone over 25. I told him he had better broaden his horizons by a country mile if he wants to succeed in this business. We exchanged vids, and I’m on a completely different level compared to him, and I also look just as young as he does. My image is better, I’m better looking, I’ve got a more chiseled physique etc…

It got me to thinking, and I explained this to him… The last people you want to search for is super young early 20 somethings. The age range IMO for good band members is 25-40. 30 being the sweet spot. They’ve gotten their young/cocky phase behind them, they’re better seasoned, more reliable, and have a better footing in the business in general. If you’ve got 30 year olds replying to your ad who are good players and good looking (like me), you’re ignorant to turn them away. Hell, I don’t even consider people for my bands if they’re under 21 these days because I know I’m bound to get an overly-cocky punk kid with little to no experience who is nowhere near as good as they think they are. Of course there are exceptions, and I know how to spot them when I see them, but this is generally the case. I put 21-40 in my ads usually. I’m not even opposed to guys older than that but at some point you DO run into generational gaps in music taste. But still, I think musical prime is reached in the 30s-40s, not teens-20s.

Am I off the mark here?
 
There are no rules, just broad generalisations that don't mean much. Why is 30 the sweet spot? Every single person is different, plenty of mature 20 year olds for every 50 year old man child.
 
It's not a thing of age, it's just the character. I (33) play in a band with another guitarist (43) and two "kids", a singer (20) and a drummer(19). The singer is a girl and can punch you in the stomach with her voice, while the drummer is a genius. Both are very fine playing with us, no "old geezer" thing.
 
BigGuitars said:
I recently replied to this ad by a 20 yeard-old who turned me away because I’m 30. He said “that’s too much of an age gap bro”. His ad stated that he was a “BADASS LEAD GUITARIST”.

In my follow up reply I told him that that’s a very arrogant attitude, and that 30 is YOUNG! He fancies himself a “badass” and won’t work with anyone over 25. I told him he had better broaden his horizons by a country mile if he wants to succeed in this business. We exchanged vids, and I’m on a completely different level compared to him, and I also look just as young as he does. My image is better, I’m better looking, I’ve got a more chiseled physique etc…

It got me to thinking, and I explained this to him… The last people you want to search for is super young early 20 somethings. The age range IMO for good band members is 25-40. 30 being the sweet spot. They’ve gotten their young/cocky phase behind them, they’re better seasoned, more reliable, and have a better footing in the business in general. If you’ve got 30 year olds replying to your ad who are good players and good looking (like me), you’re ignorant to turn them away. Hell, I don’t even consider people for my bands if they’re under 21 these days because I know I’m bound to get an overly-cocky punk kid with little to no experience who is nowhere near as good as they think they are. Of course there are exceptions, and I know how to spot them when I see them, but this is generally the case. I put 21-40 in my ads usually. I’m not even opposed to guys older than that but at some point you DO run into generational gaps in music taste. But still, I think musical prime is reached in the 30s-40s, not teens-20s.

Am I off the mark here?
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Nobody`s going to succeed in this business anymore cause it doesnt exist. Except on the internet :m9:
 
The internet has given a much larger platform to the ‘child prodigy’ musician: 9 year old drummers nailing every fill to YYZ and 9 year old guitarists burning through Racer-X tracks. But by and large, the ability to sound truly ‘professional’ when playing live with other musicians is a skill that only develops with time. Laying in the pocket, swing, groove, style. That’s all the result of playing x hundred live shows and being honest enough to admit that you probably sh*t the bed during the first 90 or more. Another dynamic is that 80s metal and hard rock is experiencing such a resurgence in popularity. Hell, every pro and college stadium in the nation blasts ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ during time-outs. And appetite is what - 34 years old? Point is, the folks who grew up playing / living that style of music are now ‘old’ - and the ones of us who kept playing til now out of sheer love for that era of music have gotten nothing but better.

Imagine John Sykes replying to ‘badass boy’s’ ad for a killer lead guitarist, only to be told, ‘nah, man … you’re too old,’ I’ll take John 10 times outta 10.
 
If someone is in their 20's and wants to try to make a real run at putting together a band playing a particular style of music that would have a younger fan base,it is perfectly reasonable for he/them to want people in the same age range to create a "sellable" image.

This is the age of the internet, where style far exceeds substance. Its all about what you want to sell. Being an insane player with great experience means nothing to the unwashed masses,its all about having an image dialed into what younger people are digging on. Its just another version of the "boy-band" or K-pop thing,just done in a rock or pseudo-metal format.

Ghost would be a great example of a way to beat the "boy-band" issue i am talking about. The guy running the show has a cadre of disposable clones in matching weird outfits playing sellable tunes he writes in a somewhat creepy vein that turns on a certain type of people. The image itself is far more important than the music...tho he does know how to write a simple hook both musically and lyric wise.

But I hear a lot of the new heavier stuff on Sirius,and often look up these new bands to see what they got going on. Often they look straight out of central casting. The riffs are super simple(read as boring),and the songs often sound the same. But that's what the youngsters are into...I guess.

I can honestly say that in the mid 80's if you were young and playing hair metal,and a 40 year old showed up wanting to play in your band you were definitely not going to be into it no matter how great or experienced they were. But if you were a teenager and played thrash and a 40 year old drummer with Gene Hogland skills showed up,you did whatever it took to snag that guy. Because the thrash genre didn't give a fuck about image.

Style over substance. Simple sells. Just add image,stir in something your parents won't like and slap it on the internet and network with a bunch of influencers and its quite possible to get you 5 minutes of fame.
 
Marykelly said:
and then


LOL. Age is all perspective. When you're 40 you'll look back on this post from when you were 30 and cringe so hard.
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I was making this statement to say that this kid was not quite as "hot shit" as he perceived himself. Even though he perceived me told be "old", I still look better and play better than him.

By the way, I wish the old thread I made 7-8 years ago where you guys on this forum crucified me to the end of the universe for having the same attitude as this kid was still around. I believe it was in the off-topic section. Now that I'm taking the opposite position you guys are naysaying me for that. I was kind of taking up for some of you older dudes in this post so I figured you would side with me, but guess not. I guess everything is wrong when it becomes my position. No problem, I'll just throw my guitars in the lake and go stick my head in the mud. Thanks!
 
BigGuitars said:
I was making this statement to say that this kid was not quite as "hot shit" as he perceived himself. Even though he perceived me told be "old", I still look better and play better than him.

By the way, I wish the old thread I made 7-8 years ago where you guys on this forum crucified me to the end of the universe for having the same attitude as this kid was still around. I believe it was in the off-topic section. Now that I'm taking the opposite position you guys are naysaying me for that. I was kind of taking up for some of you older dudes in this post so I figured you would side with me, but guess not. I guess everything is wrong when it becomes my position. No problem, I'll just throw my guitars in the lake and go stick my head in the mud. Thanks!
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I get where you're coming from. I got chastised and tossed from RT for calling-out a (now well-known) scammer and thief. His sycophants had a vested interest in his work, so they defended him. In the end, this man's nefarious activities outweighed his proponents; thereby changing the status quo. A few jumped onboard, but most stayed quiet, and still do today. Never succumb to the witchery of group think... State your case, and stand by it. As for your situation, it's much ado about nothing. His reply displays his level of maturity... Why would you want to work under those conditions? Start your own band.
 
BigGuitars said:
By the way, I wish the old thread I made 7-8 years ago where you guys on this forum crucified me to the end of the universe for having the same attitude as this kid was still around. I believe it was in the off-topic section. Now that I'm taking the opposite position you guys are naysaying me for that. I was kind of taking up for some of you older dudes in this post so I figured you would side with me, but guess not. I guess everything is wrong when it becomes my position. No problem, I'll just throw my guitars in the lake and go stick my head in the mud. Thanks!
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It's hard to take someone seriously about being 'old' when they were born after a lot of the amps discussed here were made. At some point you'll outgrow any hangups you have about age and realize that forming bands with people is about a lot more factors than age or skill. I'll take a decent player that shows up to practice on time and maintains their gear and can tour over someone who is a killer player but cant or won't take time off work or never has money to pay for the rehearsal space, etc...
 
HEMI Cooper said:
I get where you're coming from. I got chastised and tossed from RT for calling-out a (now well-known) scammer and thief. His sycophants had a vested interest in his work, so they defended him. In the end, this man's nefarious activities outweighed his proponents; thereby changing the status quo. A few jumped onboard, but most stayed quiet, and still do today. Never succumb to the witchery of group think... State your case, and stand by it. As for your situation, it's much ado about nothing. His reply displays his level of maturity... Why would you want to work under those conditions? Start your own band.
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I didn’t want to work with the kid (not after he said that anyway). I just wanted to help him broaden his horizons and not pin himself into a box. Looking back I missed what were likely good opportunities because the people inquiring weren’t in my “18-23 year old” age bracket, and I considered them old. I now realize 30 year olds are a good age for bandmates. They’re most likely a bit more mature and reliable, and probably a bit more seasoned, but can still pass as “young” for those concerned with image.

But of course I’m wrong, as it’s been ruled here. That’s the name of the game, as always. I’m wrong no matter what my position is. I’ll take the dog-piling with a smile on my face. :) Thanks!
 
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