So your dream is to own a guitar shop?

[Anonymous]

all this and more...on a larger scale, more frustrating, and wayy more tempting to shoot people over even dumber shit.

i tapped out after 3 years.

 

[ejecta]

Now imagine owning and admin'ing a forum for musicians...

I'm on forums all the time. It's NOTHING like standing face to face with drunk, homeless guys, who want to play your guitars, gang bangers looking for a guitar string to do homemade tattoos, nutty musicians, ultra, ultra, ultra grinders and musicians not sophisticated enough to know how to register for a forum and take part.

I guarantee you have it easy.

I don't know mang. Can you imagine running a gear forum and getting PMs from members who are offended at someone for posting humorous quotes and vids of a homosexual nature? It must be enough to drive you crazy!?!?

 

[jerrydyer]

I just finished talking to a buddy about this and thought it might make a funny thread. Keep in mind, I love talking about gear with most customers, and most people like you find on most forums. If you can operate a computer, get on line, register for a forum and type, then this won't apply and I know you aren't this type of customer.

It is many guitarists dream to open a guitar shop. Wouldn't it be cool to work around guitars all day and you can just pick them up and play whenever it is slow? Let me tell you guys this, this will be the majority of your day, every day. This is for fun, by the way, a therapeutic blowing off of steam.

Customer: "How much is that beat up old Cry Baby in the display?"

Me: "That is a 1973, Thomas Organ era Cry Baby. Many people like these old ones better than the brand new ones. We are selling this one for $79. You can get a brand new one for $59 if you prefer."

Customer: "That seems expensive for how beat up and hammered it is"

Me: "Well, we have tested it out and it still works perfectly and sounds great. There's bound to be a little wear on them when they are 38 years old. But if you prefer newer and cleaner, I have this brand new one in the box for $59."

Customer: "Oh no. I have tried the new ones and they don't sound anywhere near as good as the old ones. I have been trying to find an early 70's Thomas Organ Cry baby for a few months now. I bought an even more beat up one off of ebay for $89 but the pot was all scratchy and someone had changed the inductor so I sent it back. They're just really hard to find and I want an old one because of the tone..... Would you take $39 for this one?"

Me: "We really need to get $79 for this one. You might find one for $39 at the swap meet or maybe at a garage sale if you keep looking."

Customer: "That just seems like a lot for an old one."

Me: "Didn't you say you bought a more beat up one on ebay for $10 more? Lets plug this one in and see what you think. You get to hear it. It has a 30 day electronics guarantee and you won't have to wait for it to be shipped to you."

Customer: "What year is this wah pedal?"

Me: "We believe it is a 1973"

Customer: "1973 huh? yeah, man.... in '73 I was in a band with my girlfriends brother and my cousin Don. I had this cool Cry baby. I got it from Al Kalie Music, that used to be over in Long Beach. Do you remember them? The guy from The Tourists used to work there after I stopped taking lessons from Tony Spinner. We did this gig and the wah diidn't work and I was freaking out. It turns out I forgot to put a battery in it and it died right during the solo of Heartbreaker. So my drummer did this solo. He had a Ludwig Octoplus Vista Lite, you know like Bonham used, except he wasn't really into Bonham.... he was more into Billy Cobham. Oh man, have you heard Teaser with Tommy Bolin. I saw him with James Gang at Dodger stadium. I went with my wife, but it was before we were married and had kids. I gave that wah pedal to my oldest son and he is still using it. You can check out his band at thiskidsbandisgoingtosuck.com Go ahead, bring up their web page right now and check them out. I want to see what you think.

That guitar he's using in that video I got from Guitar Guitar in Hollywood, remember them? It was $349 and I had it refretted twice as the first guy screwed it up. Did you know Bill at Joe's Guitar Repair?"

Me: "No. Is that who did the bad re-fret?"

Customer: "No, Bill was great. he played a left handed Tele through an old Twin. he was great. So anyway, I put a new battery in my wah pedal and it worked fine after that."

Me: "Cool. A wah pedal should work for a long, long time."

Customer: "Do you have the bag of 12 Tortex picks for $3.95 like Guitar Center does?"

Me: "I have Tortex picks in that tray right there sold individually. They are 4 for $1."

Customer: " Yeah, but I can get 12 for $3.95 at Guitar Center and they come packaged in a little bag."

Me: "You can get 12 of them here for $3 or 16 of them for $3.95 here and I'll put them in a little zip lock bag for you."

Customer: "I think I'm going to head to Guitar Center because I can get two bags of them for like $8 there.

Me: "Ok. have a good one."


Two hours later, customer comes back in with a beat up old Thomas Organ era wah pedal.

Customer: "Do you have a tech that fixes pedals?"

Me: "Yeah. Why? What's up?"

Customer: "I just bought this vintage wah from Guitar Center for $119, and they threw in 2 bags of those Tortex picks. But the wah isn't working right"

Me: "uhm..... yeah.......Our tech doesn't fix pedals like that. You should return it to Guitar Center and buy this one that works for $79."

Customer: "Would you take $59 for it?"



Think I'm joking?

not only is this a great picture of what you deal with but this is a great picture of OUR general population here in CA, and prob everywhere else. people are freakin retards. I could not have a store like you have because I would have told that guy what an idiot he is. If you keep your cool under those circum,stances, your like god in muman form. I would have thrown his own wah pedal at him.

 

[iplayloudly]

Probably a repost, but I had to do it...

 

[Badronald]

I would never consider it. It'd drive me insane.

I'm fortunate that I'm really happy with what I do. Many/most people aren't.

 

[The Hoff]

I totally get it. The good side is that you don't have a computer shop. Not every idiot owns a guitar, but every idiot has a computer.

I had something that relieved stress for me on occasion. It was called the "asshole discount." If we had a screamer come in complaining about service and didn't want to pay the $90 for the 6 hours of labour he received to save all his important docs and pics after getting porn site and media stealing related viruses.

He would be screaming at the front about how it was too much money. I would come out and say "You don't want to pay?". I would rip up the invoice and say "There, you don't have to pay. You can tell all your friends that you shouted and carried on until you didn't have to pay. You can tell them you that you got the asshole discount for being the biggest asshole in the store today"
The look on their faces were always priceless. The begging and pleading to pay the bill was always hilarious and well worth the $90 lost time I have never found anyone that really wants the asshole discount after getting it. Lol.

I LOVE it!!!!

What I usually do is give the guy who is bitching NOTHING. I tell him/her, "we care about all of our customers and attempt to give everyone fair and equal treatment. It would be unfair to the gentlemen/lady behind you if I didn't."

It sucks because people know that if they bitch enough they'll get what they want. We are unfortunately apart of, "the squeaky wheel gets the oil society." There is evidence of it everywhere. Even in professional sports (for example: with the NBA stars complaining about no-calls, the refs will consciously/subconsciously begin giving them more attention).

 

[skoora]

I totally get it. The good side is that you don't have a computer shop. Not every idiot owns a guitar, but every idiot has a computer.

I had something that relieved stress for me on occasion. It was called the "asshole discount." If we had a screamer come in complaining about service and didn't want to pay the $90 for the 6 hours of labour he received to save all his important docs and pics after getting porn site and media stealing related viruses.

He would be screaming at the front about how it was too much money. I would come out and say "You don't want to pay?". I would rip up the invoice and say "There, you don't have to pay. You can tell all your friends that you shouted and carried on until you didn't have to pay. You can tell them you that you got the asshole discount for being the biggest asshole in the store today"
The look on their faces were always priceless. The begging and pleading to pay the bill was always hilarious and well worth the $90 lost time I have never found anyone that really wants the asshole discount after getting it. Lol.

I LOVE it!!!!

What I usually do is give the guy who is bitching NOTHING. I tell him/her, "we care about all of our customers and attempt to give everyone fair and equal treatment. It would be unfair to the gentlemen/lady behind you if I didn't."

It sucks because people know that if they bitch enough they'll get what they want. We are unfortunately apart of, "the squeaky wheel gets the oil society." There is evidence of it everywhere. Even in professional sports (for example: with the NBA stars complaining about no-calls, the refs will consciously/subconsciously begin giving them more attention).

With a lot of bigger companies though people get fucked left and right with super long hold times, overly complicated automated systems that often drop your call or kick you back in the menu....and then getting a CSR, if you're lucky to get a human being, that won't do dick and can't transfer you fast enough to the wrong dept. That's of course if you even make through the transfer hold without getting dropped. Damn straight am I going to be a little"squeaky" by the time things might actually happen.

I know this is off base to a much smaller music store but after getting screwed for 7 hours on the phone by Expedia a while ago I'd shove the wheel through the phone and run over a motherfucker!

Yeah, working in a music store sucks

 

[petethorn]

Hahahahaha I worked in guitar stores for a long long time- and I worked in one that sold not just guitars- but karaoke stuff. For 5 years.

"do you have "the rose"??

Yes, here you go ma'am

"No, not that one, i need it in a higher key. And I want to try it. Can you set me up on a machine so I can try it?"

Yes ma'am.

Then- 5 minutes of gut wrenching squealing horrible singing-screeching

"no I don't like it. Do you have "a whole new world" and "the wind beneath my wings?"

Yes ma'am

And on and on

For 5 fucking years

Yes folks- Pete Thorn paid his dues

 

[The Hoff]

I totally get it. The good side is that you don't have a computer shop. Not every idiot owns a guitar, but every idiot has a computer.

I had something that relieved stress for me on occasion. It was called the "asshole discount." If we had a screamer come in complaining about service and didn't want to pay the $90 for the 6 hours of labour he received to save all his important docs and pics after getting porn site and media stealing related viruses.

He would be screaming at the front about how it was too much money. I would come out and say "You don't want to pay?". I would rip up the invoice and say "There, you don't have to pay. You can tell all your friends that you shouted and carried on until you didn't have to pay. You can tell them you that you got the asshole discount for being the biggest asshole in the store today"
The look on their faces were always priceless. The begging and pleading to pay the bill was always hilarious and well worth the $90 lost time I have never found anyone that really wants the asshole discount after getting it. Lol.

I LOVE it!!!!

What I usually do is give the guy who is bitching NOTHING. I tell him/her, "we care about all of our customers and attempt to give everyone fair and equal treatment. It would be unfair to the gentlemen/lady behind you if I didn't."

It sucks because people know that if they bitch enough they'll get what they want. We are unfortunately apart of, "the squeaky wheel gets the oil society." There is evidence of it everywhere. Even in professional sports (for example: with the NBA stars complaining about no-calls, the refs will consciously/subconsciously begin giving them more attention).

With a lot of bigger companies though people get fucked left and right with super long hold times, overly complicated automated systems that often drop your call or kick you back in the menu....and then getting a CSR, if you're lucky to get a human being, that won't do dick and can't transfer you fast enough to the wrong dept. That's of course if you even make through the transfer hold without getting dropped. Damn straight am I going to be a little"squeaky" by the time things might actually happen.

I know this is off base to a much smaller music store but after getting screwed for 7 hours on the phone by Expedia a while ago I'd shove the wheel through the phone and run over a motherfucker!

Yeah, working in a music store sucks

That's different than what I'm talking about though. You have all the right in the world to be squeaky after that incident. A little off topic because I don't work in a music store (I work as a manager at a minature golf place-with rides, an arcade, that kind of thing). The type of situation I'm talking about is when a 6' 4" 250 pound man screams at my 17 year old 90 pound 4' 9" employee because she let customers "cut in front of him for 20 mins." (This just happened this past Saturday). First of all, he waited 5 mins max and there was a large group in front of him. The customer at the window made the purchase for all of them, the people who "cut" him were just picking up their golf clubs. Anyway, after I told him that he needed to calm down or leave, he demanded a bunch of free stuff. Long story short (in a mature and respectful manner) I gave him nothing. That's the kind of squeaky I'm talking about.

 

[kasperjensen]

Anything to do with customer service can be a little bit of a nightmare.

Most of the time, people just go about their business, but every once in a while you get someone who thinks they own you because they have bought a pair of socks once.

I have a small shopping centre here, and there is a really nice open court yard in the middle. I had hired a Jump Jazz band for a Saturday afternoon. People showed up by the hundreds. Free entrance. Free seat. Table service.
Anyway, a guy was sitting by the fountain. I recognized him as he normally comes in every friday to collect the free newspapers (or anything else that's free). He hadn't bought a single drink or anything else that whole day, nor had he ever.

Suddenly he sees me, and storms over to me.

"OI! Here I am bringing up 4 of my friends to your place, and you can't even get us chairs to sit on!"

"I am afraid we are full up"

"That's just not good enough"

By now I am getting quite angry with him... So I say:

"Tell you what, I will refund you the money you paid to come here and watch the music"

"But I didn't pay anything!!"

"Exactly.. Now get the f*** out!"


He started coming back a few years later... Now he is all smiles, and is the most polite man ever. Still doesn't buy anything though

Christ... I have so many little run-ins with various customers, it's not even funny.

 

[Spaceboy]

Probably a repost, but I had to do it...

 

[Bronco]

Back in the late 80's/early 90's I had grown so sick of everyone who either worked in or stood in a music store trying to pass themselves off as some sort of expert in one way or another. One of the most annoying things for me was trying to work a solid deal while, seated a few feet away, was some thirteen-year-old kid who had 'shedded some Yngwie lick ALL WEEK so he could come into the store at opening, grab the most expensive shredder axe that he could never afford, plug it into whatever amp-of-the-week had the most gain, crank it up, and play that ONE lick over and over and over and over and over...

One day my other guitar player (at the time) walked up to one of such kids playing an Randy V through some monster rig, pulled out a $100 Bill, and said, "Hey, kid. If you can play a whole song right now, I'll give you this $100." Kid unplugged and sulked out of the store while we laughed hysterically. Good times...

This leads right into the standard guitar store corollary:

For every increase in volume level, there is an equal and opposite decrease in skill level.

 

[squank]

Hahahahaha I worked in guitar stores for a long long time- and I worked in one that sold not just guitars- but karaoke stuff. For 5 years.

"do you have "the rose"??

Yes, here you go ma'am

"No, not that one, i need it in a higher key. And I want to try it. Can you set me up on a machine so I can try it?"

Yes ma'am.

Then- 5 minutes of gut wrenching squealing horrible singing-screeching

"no I don't like it. Do you have "a whole new world" and "the wind beneath my wings?"

Yes ma'am

And on and on

For 5 fucking years

Yes folks- Pete Thorn paid his dues

LOL Pete, that's a great story. I was cringing just at the thought of "The Rose" on karaoke!

 

[mentoneman]

Hahahahaha I worked in guitar stores for a long long time- and I worked in one that sold not just guitars- but karaoke stuff. For 5 years.

"do you have "the rose"??

Yes, here you go ma'am

"No, not that one, i need it in a higher key. And I want to try it. Can you set me up on a machine so I can try it?"

Yes ma'am.

Then- 5 minutes of gut wrenching squealing horrible singing-screeching

"no I don't like it. Do you have "a whole new world" and "the wind beneath my wings?"

Yes ma'am

And on and on

For 5 fucking years

Yes folks- Pete Thorn paid his dues

i worked for country entertainer gary morris as a cameraman on his show north american sportsman on tnn-he was the first to record wind beneath my wings and sold it to bette middler. his secretary used to be faith hill, whom i'd call to process my invoices after a shoot. weird huh?

 

[Norton666]

Ive owned a guitar shop for the last 8 years. I could go on and on with those type of stories.