Belac - Stones

[CJ7]

My latest song. I appreciate a lot of people here who have been giving me advice about how to make everything sound a little bit more professional. This is my third mix (my first 5 songs were copy/pasted for the production really) and it's leaps and bounds better than the last, IMO! I'd love critique, specifically on the production side. Thanks to all who have helped and I hope you enjoy!

 

[DanTravis62]

Cool arrangement and song man - I like the guitar solo a lot. I like the growls too, although they could use slightly more rhythmic and tonal variation. I really like the idea of the the "fake out" intro that builds up and then stops and builds up again, kind of like a melodeath version of "phobophile."

As far as critiques:

I would either turn the bass guitar down, or use a multi-band compressor on it to wrangle the low end a bit. Especially in the intro. Because of the way it's played, it's distracting, sounds chaotic in a bad way, and is just a little too messy.

The drum beats themselves work okay, although they are a little haphazard and groove averse. You might be okay using that 12312312 beat structure for one part, or one measure followed by a normal groove, and it would sound quite a bit better. As it is, it sounds too chaotic and not well thought out enough.

The second part of the intro around 1:15 after it builds up and is just piano - when the guitar comes in, it would sound a lot more natural if the drums were doing something. Maybe some kind of "intro esque" beat with a more simple bassline? Something to build up with the guitar riff. Having no drums there sounds awkward.

The drum machine needs some work mix wise. The kick drum is either too loud or too present in the mix - you have to either turn it down or cut out some frequencies so the guitar, piano/keys, and bass guitar have some space. The the crashes are probably close to the right volume, but the hi-hat and ride similarly are either too loud or need to share more frequencies with the guitar because they drown it out.

The guitar might sound good? It might sound bad, I honestly don't know because it's drowned out by the kick and cymbals.

All in all this is a really cool song and idea that could use a little more work and refinement mixwise and arrangement wise.

 

[CJ7]

Thank you! Lots of good notes for me to take here, I really appreciate it. My drums I've written for my next few songs are definitely chaotic lol that's honestly going to be the harder part to figure out, and likely singing I'll struggle with until I start actually playing drums and learning.

I was having a hard time with the cymbals for sure. I revisited them a lot and it seemed like when I made progress in one aspect, they sounded messed up in another. Same with the kick, when I made them less punchy I lost them behind the bass. But maybe better eq work on the bass would have solved that problem?

My wife criticized my vocals too, she said it's like bad slam poetry lol I have much more range in my voice but honestly I get scared to use it for some reason.

I really appreciate the feedback. Thank you!

 

[DanTravis62]

Thank you! Lots of good notes for me to take here, I really appreciate it. My drums I've written for my next few songs are definitely chaotic lol that's honestly going to be the harder part to figure out, and likely singing I'll struggle with until I start actually playing drums and learning.

I was having a hard time with the cymbals for sure. I revisited them a lot and it seemed like when I made progress in one aspect, they sounded messed up in another. Same with the kick, when I made them less punchy I lost them behind the bass. But maybe better eq work on the bass would have solved that problem?

My wife criticized my vocals too, she said it's like bad slam poetry lol I have much more range in my voice but honestly I get scared to use it for some reason.

I really appreciate the feedback. Thank you!

Yeah no problem. Taking critique onboard is the best way to improve!

As far as the drums, I totally get what you're going for with the chaotic drums, it's just there isn't enough groove for the listener to "grab a hold of" if it's ALL chaos. Therion's "Ho Drakon Ho Megas" and Dark Tranquility "The Gallery" both do similar stuff with the drums, but you have to have some "normal" drum beats for the listener to get sucked into the groove. When you do those chaotic parts it has to ebb and flow, tension and release. When the drums are all chaotic there's no release, and it's unpleasant for the listener.

Yeah your wife is on the same track as me, the basic "tone" of your growl vocals is good, but you have to emphasize parts by changing tone to a high pitched scream, or a lower pitched cookie monster, something. You gotta change it up to give it more rhythm and flow.

As far as the mix, yeah there's quite a few things to work on, but the songwriting part and melody part is quite good! Just needs a little more time in the oven, and fixing some things that clash with each other.

I would start with subtractive EQ. Especially the drums and bass need to be more "surgical" in the frequencies they represent in the mix - that's what gives you "space" for the guitars, and makes it so everything in the mix is audible.