This is too obvious to be a troll right? No really right?
Customer Support: "Mesa Boogie amplifier assistant; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with my Mesa rectumfrier."
CS: "What sort of trouble?"
C: "Well, I plugged it in to an outlet and turned it on and had no sound"
CS: "No sound?"
C: "Yeah I couldn't hear anything."
CS: "Hmm. So what is it doing now?"
C: "Nothing."
CS: "Nothing?"
C: "It's dead no sound."
CS: "Do you have a cable from your guitar plugged in?"
C: "How do I tell?"
CS: "See that 1/4 inch jack on your guitar well there is a matching one one the face of your amp labeled input?"
C: "1/4 inch jack?"
CS: "Never mind. Maybe you go wireless?"
C: "I don't have a wireless but I have a cable I can plug from my guitar to the amp."
CS: "Does your Mesa have the amp jewel light on?"
C: "What's an amp jewel light?"
CS: "It's the thing on the faceplate that looks like a jewel. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
C: "I don't know."
CS: "Well, then look on the back of the amp and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
C: "Yes, I think so."
CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
C: ".......Yes, it is."
CS: "When you were behind amp, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
C: "No."
CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
C: ".......Okay, here it is."
CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your cabinet."
C: "I can't reach."
CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
C: "No."
CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
CS: "Dark?"
C: "Yes - my bedroom light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
CS: "Well, turn on your bedroom light then."
C: "I can't."
CS: "No? Why not?"
C: "Because there's a power outage."
CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the box and manuals and packing stuff your amp came in?"
C: "Well, yes, I keep it in the closet."
CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your amp and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
C: "Really? Is it that bad?"
CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a Mesa Boogie amplifier."