Douchiest guitarists of all time...

[D-Rock]

The fact that they left off these guys, is a glaring mistake:

Bats and bandana's.

 

[D-Rock]

The fact that they left off these guys, is a glaring mistake:

Just so we're clear and you guys know who I'm refering to.

 

[joepete77]

Article is funny and i agree with some choices but no doubt the writer is a hipster douche half a fag.

 

[Mr. Willy]

They left off the 2 assholes from Blind Melon. Here's what they said about Dream Theater years ago. But they were equally dickish about Satriani and a few others.







"Guitar for the Practicing Musician" - January 1994

"Pull Me Under"
Images And Words
Dream Theater (ATCO/East-West)



Christopher: This could be metal at any moment--I'm just warning everybody.
Rogers: Either that or it could build up into a power ballad.
C: I feel like we might have to excuse ourselves here for a second. We might
have to leave.
R: This is one of those guitar sounds that when he hits a note, about a million
lights jump up on his guitar rig.
C: Any minute now there is gonna be a squealy.
R: Is this, like, Queensryche?
C: If it is, let's turn it off right away because I hate that band.
R: Hate it. This is the kind of music you listen to right when you start to get
your pubic hairs.
C: I can't even be fair to this music, I hate it so bad. I can't even sit
through one song. I know I'm not being fair but I think it is complete
garbage. That sort of guitar playing is just stupid.
R: If I want to hear a metal band I really like old Black Sabbath and
Soundgarden, heavy bands with brains. If I were listening to an angry metal
band I would be more into Rage Against the Machine or Sugar. I like that
Sugar record a lot, I like Sonic Youth a lot. That's heavy, guitar based
music that I listen to.
C: Playing fast for the sake of fast is hideous. I hate that whole mentality of
sitting around playing scales and cock-rock crap.
R: I heard some squealies. I don't really like that sound either. I'm not into
those guitar sounds. When I hear that stuff I get feeling squeamish.
Guitar: That was Dream Theater.
C: We'll remember not to buy that record. I bet they have really nice hair...
now I'm being mean.
R: This is just our opinion. There's a lot of people that like Dream Theater and
that's fine. They get off on it--good for them. They'll probably hate us,
maybe they won't.
C: They probably do because we sound like we're playing sloppy. But that's
alright, that's a different thing. We're just coming from a different space.
R: In no way do we condemn this sort of music. These people have a right to
exist.
C: Just keep it the hell away from us.
[on to the other songs.]

To give you an idea how fucked-up Blind Melon are, they liked:
Medicated Goo - Traffic
Midnight Rider - Almond Brothers

And they hated:
Babe I'm Gonna Leave You - Sons of Mercury
Omaha - Moby Grape
Pull Me Under - Dream Theater
Little Miss Can't Be Wrong - Spin Doctors
Always With Me Always With You - Joe Satriani

These following letters to the editor appeared in the February 1994 issue with
Alex Lifeson of Rush on the cover!!

"...I've had it! I'm sick of these stupid fucks writing that heavy metal is
soulless, mindless bullshit..."

"...If you have something to say about another type of music, keep it to
yourself."

And in March 1994:

"Blind Lemon only wish they could compare to Queensryche and Dream Theater!"

"...John Petrucci's technical skill and rapturous melodies are things of beauty,
things that Christopher and Rogers hate because they can't create such things
themselves..."

And so on.

Return to the Dream Theater FAQ

Almond Brothers Band.

 

[D-Rock]

Blind Melon was awesome. Fuck DT with DP.

 

[steve_k]

Didn't the Blind Melon singer die of an overdose on the tour bus?

 

[Bob Savage]

It started out humorous but it turned stupid in a hurry. The author seemed to exhaust all of his material in the first paragraph or two.

I give it 1.2 out of 10.

 

[D-Rock]

Didn't the Blind Melon singer die of an overdose on the tour bus?

Yup, he got clean, had a baby and one day did some smack on the bus. Except he took his previous sized dose that he used to have when he was a junkie.
His clean body couldn't handle it, so he OD'd.

 

[the rossness]

Wait... No Impellitteri?

 

[leib10]

Lots of A7X hate here, lol. I agree that when they first broke out into the mainstream their image was pretty over-the-top, and there are a lot of guys who will never get over that, but for a pop hard-rock/metal band they have some serious skills. I think they get a lot of hate because of their fanbase as well that consists of a lot of post-emo girls and faggy teenaged boys. It's a shame because this band has a lot of hidden talent that often goes ignored because people get turned off by the image, which they've definitely toned down in recent years.

 

[Heritage Softail]

Lots of A7X hate here, lol. I agree that when they first broke out into the mainstream their image was pretty over-the-top, and there are a lot of guys who will never get over that, but for a pop hard-rock/metal band they have some serious skills. I think they get a lot of hate because of their fanbase as well that consists of a lot of post-emo girls and faggy teenaged boys. It's a shame because this band has a lot of hidden talent that often goes ignored because people get turned off by the image, which they've definitely toned down in recent years.

They found their market. And every piece of management is trying to squeeze the last drop of blood from it.

Some could say Poison was the most contrived band ever. But others love them.

It's all laughable in the end.. Whatever you like, somebody somewhere is looking down their nose on ya for it... Fuck 'em!

 

[steve_k]

Whatever you like, somebody somewhere is looking down their nose on ya for it... Fuck 'em!

Well said.....

 

[Michi]

God, I Hate to admit it but I kind of dig the latest Avenged Sevenfold. It's getting too much play on the radio here but the guitar playing is very solid, Portnoy's drums are killer, it sounds incredible (except the tone of the harmony guitars, too thin) and I dig the tone of the guys voice on it. He doesn't use what I would call the typical whiny becomes scream voice we usually hear and sings some good melodies. Plus the footage I've seen of them live recently, they put on a pretty good show and can play everything they recorded. That being said I wouldn't call myself a fan because too much of their past stuff has too much cheese but I do like like what they're doing now.

Who's playing drums on Carry On? Is that a carry over from the Portnoy sessions?

I'm guessing it's the new drummer they're working with, Arin Ilejay.

EDITed: Every time I hear Carry On on the radio I think of Helloween's Eagle Fly Free. Damn the songs have such a similar vibe!

I saw them live a couple of years ago when they opened for Maiden here. I gotta say I was very impressed with their live energy and delivery. Funny thing about the Nightmare album, I just can't gel with Portnoy's drumming on it . Other than that, I kinda like the music. Emo image or not.

 

[leib10]

It is Arin Ilejay. Probably slated to be their new drummer after they kicked Mike Portnoy out. And nobody can say they don't put on an incredible live show.

Lots of A7X hate here, lol. I agree that when they first broke out into the mainstream their image was pretty over-the-top, and there are a lot of guys who will never get over that, but for a pop hard-rock/metal band they have some serious skills. I think they get a lot of hate because of their fanbase as well that consists of a lot of post-emo girls and faggy teenaged boys. It's a shame because this band has a lot of hidden talent that often goes ignored because people get turned off by the image, which they've definitely toned down in recent years.

They found their market. And every piece of management is trying to squeeze the last drop of blood from it.

Isn't that what every single pop band in existence does?

And you're right, haters are gonna hate, no matter who it is. It's probably what drove this article to be written- disdain with a hint of jealousy. It's what helps to make music such a compelling thing- it's so subjective it's not even funny.

 

[dfrattaroli]

I've never heard a single A7X song so I don't even know if I like their music. But their guitar players do look like douches.

 

[Schaf]

Lots of A7X hate here, lol. I agree that when they first broke out into the mainstream their image was pretty over-the-top, and there are a lot of guys who will never get over that, but for a pop hard-rock/metal band they have some serious skills. I think they get a lot of hate because of their fanbase as well that consists of a lot of post-emo girls and faggy teenaged boys. It's a shame because this band has a lot of hidden talent that often goes ignored because people get turned off by the image, which they've definitely toned down in recent years.

Yeah man, I agree. And the image? How much different is it than Motley Crue? Those guys can play for sure. I mean some of the guitar harmonies and arrangements are pretty killer. And, I'm pretty selective about the more modern music that I like. That drummer (the Rev) that died.....he was an Fn bad ass. A real tragedy.

 

[bigdaddyd]

They left off the 2 assholes from Blind Melon. Here's what they said about Dream Theater years ago. But they were equally dickish about Satriani and a few others.







"Guitar for the Practicing Musician" - January 1994

"Pull Me Under"
Images And Words
Dream Theater (ATCO/East-West)

Christopher: This could be metal at any moment--I'm just warning everybody.
Rogers: Either that or it could build up into a power ballad.
C: I feel like we might have to excuse ourselves here for a second. We might
have to leave.
R: This is one of those guitar sounds that when he hits a note, about a million
lights jump up on his guitar rig.
C: Any minute now there is gonna be a squealy.
R: Is this, like, Queensryche?
C: If it is, let's turn it off right away because I hate that band.
R: Hate it. This is the kind of music you listen to right when you start to get
your pubic hairs.
C: I can't even be fair to this music, I hate it so bad. I can't even sit
through one song. I know I'm not being fair but I think it is complete
garbage. That sort of guitar playing is just stupid.
R: If I want to hear a metal band I really like old Black Sabbath and
Soundgarden, heavy bands with brains. If I were listening to an angry metal
band I would be more into Rage Against the Machine or Sugar. I like that
Sugar record a lot, I like Sonic Youth a lot. That's heavy, guitar based
music that I listen to.
C: Playing fast for the sake of fast is hideous. I hate that whole mentality of
sitting around playing scales and cock-rock crap.
R: I heard some squealies. I don't really like that sound either. I'm not into
those guitar sounds. When I hear that stuff I get feeling squeamish.
Guitar: That was Dream Theater.
C: We'll remember not to buy that record. I bet they have really nice hair...
now I'm being mean.
R: This is just our opinion. There's a lot of people that like Dream Theater and
that's fine. They get off on it--good for them. They'll probably hate us,
maybe they won't.
C: They probably do because we sound like we're playing sloppy. But that's
alright, that's a different thing. We're just coming from a different space.
R: In no way do we condemn this sort of music. These people have a right to
exist.
C: Just keep it the hell away from us.
[on to the other songs.]

To give you an idea how fucked-up Blind Melon are, they liked:
Medicated Goo - Traffic
Midnight Rider - Almond Brothers

And they hated:
Babe I'm Gonna Leave You - Sons of Mercury
Omaha - Moby Grape
Pull Me Under - Dream Theater
Little Miss Can't Be Wrong - Spin Doctors
Always With Me Always With You - Joe Satriani

These following letters to the editor appeared in the February 1994 issue with
Alex Lifeson of Rush on the cover!!

"...I've had it! I'm sick of these stupid fucks writing that heavy metal is
soulless, mindless bullshit..."

"...If you have something to say about another type of music, keep it to
yourself."

And in March 1994:

"Blind Lemon only wish they could compare to Queensryche and Dream Theater!"

"...John Petrucci's technical skill and rapturous melodies are things of beauty,
things that Christopher and Rogers hate because they can't create such things
themselves..."

And so on.

Return to the Dream Theater FAQ

I think you are taking this a little too seriously. I believe they were fucking around. I did security for them and they signed my Kamikaze and were fans of Lynch. I got to hang out with them and Shannon Hoon asked me to come party with them on the bus. Unfortunately, I didn't get to. RIP Shannon.

 

[Ventura]

I've never heard a single A7X song so I don't even know if I like their music. But their guitar players do look like douches.

Ditto. So I just spent the morning cruising several of their tunes on YT. Seems pretty straight up pop metal. I'm neither here nor there with it, I'm sure it's selling which is what the management company/agent wants. As a personal note, I used to date this bimbette that was about 15 years younger than me. She drove around in her VW bug, had her tatties and piercings, dressed the part of a young hotty, etc. There was absolutely nothing "there" with respect to "chemistry" in our relationship - the reasons for it should be obvious to anyone reading. But she liked this kind of music - and I heard a lot of it. The thing that always struck me about the music and its players were that they were seemingly designed in short order to then belt out this latest concoction of music. What I mean by this is, most of these cats seem to me like they've barely got fuzz on their nuts, yet they're covered in ink, dressing like 30s playboy thugs, and their songs are about hardcore life experiences and the like. In the past, this music was "developed" from the ground up. We had Black Sabbath on the mystical side, then Deep Purple, then Uriah Heep, then Motorhead, then Helmet, then then then then.., It evolved. It came to be through experience and use.

These cats just seem to get inked up, buffed up, thrown on stage with a set M.O. to play "songs like this" and sing "lyrics like this" and deliver the goods to an audience of instant-grata youngens who feel they've got hard times and problems and are living on the edge. This hasn't "evolved", this is "designed".

That's my only beef. And as for the bimbette that was way younger than me, she really wasn't the brightest thing and her music seemed to coincide with that. Hey, I'm not an old fart - I dig a lot of newer heavier shit...but when the music relies on "image", I always get a bit skeptical.

Mo

 

[Michi]

Ditto. So I just spent the morning cruising several of their tunes on YT. Seems pretty straight up pop metal. I'm neither here nor there with it, I'm sure it's selling which is what the management company/agent wants. As a personal note, I used to date this bimbette that was about 15 years younger than me. She drove around in her VW bug, had her tatties and piercings, dressed the part of a young hotty, etc. There was absolutely nothing "there" with respect to "chemistry" in our relationship - the reasons for it should be obvious to anyone reading. But she liked this kind of music - and I heard a lot of it. The thing that always struck me about the music and its players were that they were seemingly designed in short order to then belt out this latest concoction of music. What I mean by this is, most of these cats seem to me like they've barely got fuzz on their nuts, yet they're covered in ink, dressing like 30s playboy thugs, and their songs are about hardcore life experiences and the like. In the past, this music was "developed" from the ground up. We had Black Sabbath on the mystical side, then Deep Purple, then Uriah Heep, then Motorhead, then Helmet, then then then then.., It evolved. It came to be through experience and use.

These cats just seem to get inked up, buffed up, thrown on stage with a set M.O. to play "songs like this" and sing "lyrics like this" and deliver the goods to an audience of instant-grata youngens who feel they've got hard times and problems and are living on the edge. This hasn't "evolved", this is "designed".

That's my only beef. And as for the bimbette that was way younger than me, she really wasn't the brightest thing and her music seemed to coincide with that. Hey, I'm not an old fart - I dig a lot of newer heavier shit...but when the music relies on "image", I always get a bit skeptical.

Mo

well said.

 

[bigdaddyd]

I've never heard a single A7X song so I don't even know if I like their music. But their guitar players do look like douches.

Ditto. So I just spent the morning cruising several of their tunes on YT. Seems pretty straight up pop metal. I'm neither here nor there with it, I'm sure it's selling which is what the management company/agent wants. As a personal note, I used to date this bimbette that was about 15 years younger than me. She drove around in her VW bug, had her tatties and piercings, dressed the part of a young hotty, etc. There was absolutely nothing "there" with respect to "chemistry" in our relationship - the reasons for it should be obvious to anyone reading. But she liked this kind of music - and I heard a lot of it. The thing that always struck me about the music and its players were that they were seemingly designed in short order to then belt out this latest concoction of music. What I mean by this is, most of these cats seem to me like they've barely got fuzz on their nuts, yet they're covered in ink, dressing like 30s playboy thugs, and their songs are about hardcore life experiences and the like. In the past, this music was "developed" from the ground up. We had Black Sabbath on the mystical side, then Deep Purple, then Uriah Heep, then Motorhead, then Helmet, then then then then.., It evolved. It came to be through experience and use.

These cats just seem to get inked up, buffed up, thrown on stage with a set M.O. to play "songs like this" and sing "lyrics like this" and deliver the goods to an audience of instant-grata youngens who feel they've got hard times and problems and are living on the edge. This hasn't "evolved", this is "designed".

That's my only beef. And as for the bimbette that was way younger than me, she really wasn't the brightest thing and her music seemed to coincide with that. Hey, I'm not an old fart - I dig a lot of newer heavier shit...but when the music relies on "image", I always get a bit skeptical.

Mo

I would hardly call myself and Avenged Sevenfold fan. I used to see them and thought the same thing most people did. My friend did too. His son then played him Nightmare. He promptly brought it to me. He said, "dude you have to crank this up." So I did. I don't know if I like it because Portnoy is playing drums, or because their guitars sound ridiculously good on that disc, but it is an insanely good disc. I bought it. I listen to it often, and I especially like to listen to it with my Grados because it sounds amazing. That said, I have no desire to see them live or buy anything else from them. Like I said, I am not a "fan." That particular disc was really good and just showed me that their is definite talent in the band regardless of what they look like.