Chubtone":1z3jnvqb said:
I've been married 17 years and in reading your first post my thought was that you must be quite an intense guy and that can get quite difficult to deal with over time. Your wife may have put the stitches in there and been embarrassed when you found them because that's pretty gross and the last thing a woman wants is for her guy to think she's disgusting. So maybe she told a little white lie so this would go away and you wouldn't think she was weird or nasty. And then you blow this way out of proportion with a "would you EVER lie to me?!!!!" and she's so afraid you'll find out she lied to you and won't trust her when it counts.
Like the other married guys have said and you have agreed with, let this go and I mean, really let this go. You are already sensitive to the fact her mom is a habitual liar. That doesn't mean she is. You should have figured out if she was before marriage.
Now go play that Roadster some more and don't sweat the small stuff.
Dude, calm down, it'll be alright ... Your comments are fine, but seriously -- there is nothing intense about what I wrote or who I am. You assume that there is nothing to worry about, and I am fine assuming both possibilities.
To say that you can figure out everything there is to know about a person before you get married is just not reality. There are millions of married and divorced people who can back that up. I've been together with this girl for 8 years. 7 of those we've lived together. I trust her a lot.
I have high expectations of achieving the good and can live with the consequences of such beliefs. I tolerate mistakes, but not blatant lying that goes unchecked. I've never seen good things happen through lying. I will not be an enabler of allowing someone I love to pursue a path of lying.
I am also not living everyday pretending that the little things matter less than the big things. Anytime lying is involved, white or not, it always matters. You can have your opinions, and I value your input, but my experiences and educational background tell me that lying is never a sign of good things. Honestly, I'd rather be alone than with some who lies to me. I tolerate everything and anything actually.
At the end of the day, until I know it is a lie, there is little I have to worry about. I do find it interesting that many people suggest just dealing with lies, even small ones, if they know they have been truly lied to. I am glad to know that people are able to maintain healthy relationships through this. I also have studied plenty of negatives associated with lying and relationships too.
