Trojan; official condom of the NFL.
Crest; official toothpaste of the NFL.
Preparation H; official hemorrhoid cream of the NFL.
Motel 6; official motel of the NFL.
I'll consider buying stock in Sephora if they come to grips with reality and make the forward-thinking decision to rebrand as an all you can eat buffet.
Got a bicuspid pulled last week. Fuckin massive roots. Gonna use it as a guitar pick for punk music.
Can't say it's inauthentic if I'm playing punk music with my own entrails!
Named it "Lil Devil" cuz of them big horns and the fact that it gave me Hell for over 7 1/2 years. (Shattered part of it on a moving job in summer 2016.)