The stupidest shit youve heard a guitar store guy say......

[The~Kid]

"Im sorry, we only allow 5 minutes playing time on gear...... Can't put too many miles on it."



Sam Ash employee...... Look at Sam Ash now

 

[RaceU4her]

“Don’t scoop your mids”

 

[The~Kid]

“Don’t scoop your mids”

Classic

 

[thegame]

Me, “what kind of speakers are in this cab?”
Store clerk, “Celestions”
Me, “I know but what type of Celestion?”
Store clerk, “Celestion”

I guess the guy was still living in 1965 when there was only one type of Celestion for guitar.

 

[Geo]

"sir, you have to pay for that guitar before you leave with it"

 

[TheGreatGreen]

“No no, it’s fine if you leave a tube amp running without a speaker cable plugged in. It’s solid state amps you have to have a cab plugged in or else they’ll blow up.”

This was well before reactive loads came out.

 

[tallcoolone]

Me, “what kind of speakers are in this cab?”
Store clerk, “Celestions”
Me, “I know but what type of Celestion?”
Store clerk, “Celestion”

I guess the guy was still living in 1965 when there was only one type of Celestion for guitar.

Amen. Another reason to keep a screwdriver in the car haha

 

[ZEN Amps]

In the early 2000's I worked as a recording engineer on an album for a pretty well known Aussie band. They had lots of great gear but ended up using some of my amps for much of the project - Vox, old Marshalls etc.

A year later some muppet tried to convince me to buy a Pod because "his mate" worked at the studio, and reliably told him both of the band's guitarists exclusively used that kidney bean POS. I wasn't convinced.

 

[thegame]

“No no, it’s fine if you leave a tube amp running without a speaker cable plugged in. It’s solid state amps you have to have a cab plugged in or else they’ll blow up.”

This was well before reactive loads came out.

If a purely digital 5150 Hypersonic gets unplugged in the forest, does it blow up or still make a sound?

 

[sytharnia1560]

only interaction I can even remember with a store employee was when Jackson guitars first came to new zealand. No USA made ones, just Japanese, so I went in and took a King V off the rack and said "i'll take this" ... the dude behind the counter said "do you want to try it first?" .. I said "oh yeah I suppose" .. but I was buying that fucker regardless of how it sounded hahahaha

 

[Philhouse]

In the early 2000's I worked as a recording engineer on an album for a pretty well known Aussie band. They had lots of great gear but ended up using some of my amps for much of the project - Vox, old Marshalls etc.

A year later some muppet tried to convince me to buy a Pod because "his mate" worked at the studio, and reliably told him both of the band's guitarists exclusively used that kidney bean POS. I wasn't convinced.

Was it "Let There Be Pod" or "Dirty Pods Done Dirt Cheap"

 

[marvcus]

Used to work at a guitar store and really only remember the funny things said.

But the stupidest thing I heard was from me. I had just started there and had been playing about 3 years. We sold Mesa Boogie and I was not that familiar with them at the time, because I had not had enough time to spend on every amp (we had the full fleet of Mesa).

Some high school kid saved up his cash and came in for the Dual Rectifier (era was about 1998-1999), the two channel one. He asked me about the tubes and having 6L6s vs EL34s in there.

I didn’t check and thought the amp was simulclass with both types already installed. I showed him the tube switch feature on the back and flipped the switch to EL34s. He looked shocked and said hey there are only 6L6s in there.

I looked and sure enough; he was right. Lost the sale that day (even though the amp was fine) and wound up having to split it once we got another one in. Never forgot that.

 

[Techdeth]

In the early 2000's I worked as a recording engineer on an album for a pretty well known Aussie band. They had lots of great gear but ended up using some of my amps for much of the project - Vox, old Marshalls etc.

A year later some muppet tried to convince me to buy a Pod because "his mate" worked at the studio, and reliably told him both of the band's guitarists exclusively used that kidney bean POS. I wasn't convinced.

Was it The Living End ?
You should have photoshopped your amp wall but instead of the heads just have stacks of PODS on top and said yep here what they used lol

 

[matttornado]

I ask, "How much are these little solid-state battery powered practice amps?" The guy working in Guitar Center - "116 dollars but they're not solid state, they're actually tube amps." I just shook my head and walked away.

Another time- same store- I took a lifetime warranty guitar cord back for a replacement because it would crackle and static if I shook it while playing. The girl working at the store grabbed a guitar, the cord and an amp to see if I was telling the truth. There was sound coming through the amp, so she said to me, "the cord is fine". I said shake and listen to the crackling sound, she did and then says, "but it still works". I don't even think she was a musician to be honest. It's like they'll hire anyone even if they never held a guitar before.

 

[BackCrack]

I was at a brick & mortar in the midwest years ago, and they had just taken in a old Nash strat on trade. I overheard one of the sales guys tell a customer, "Bill Nash has built everything from scratch since day one. This thing is better than any Fender Custom Shop. Blah, blah, blah..."

When he was done verbaly tea bagging the guitar, I went over to check it out and instantly recognized what it was. I bet the sales guy $20 that his holy grail was a Warmoth partscaster. He said, "Bullshit, man. How are you going prove that? It's a bet." Two minutes later, the neck was popped (they were going to put new strings on it anyway) and the two turtles could still be made out even after Bill's best efforts to get rid of them.

"How the hell did you know that?" I told him (1) Bill has always been just a parts builder and (2) he used Warmoth parts early on and then moved on to cheaper imported parts. He's never made a neck or body from scratch. Took his $20.

I wonder if that salesman still bullshits his customers with made up crap...

 

[anomaly]

I spend about 15 mins trying to explain what a compression pedal does cause i'm trying to sell it to a guitar shop and after I'm done talking he says "Ya, but what does it do?".

 

[BeZo]

"You need to turn down."

 

[Kordoba]

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

 

[BABMusic]

"You need to raise that action on your (Strat)."

I was deeply offended.

 

[Gitfiddler]

The Jim Root model strat was made by the Fender custom shop exclusively for the particular guitar center location where I was graced by the employee’s presence.